Frank Tallis - Fatal Lies

The next exercise book was full of numbers and algebraic equations. Throughout, the left page had been used for rough work and was a chaotic mess of scribbled operators and products. The opposite page, however, was much neater, showing, step by step, the precise method employed to calculate answers.

Something caught Rheinhardt's attention: a systematic regularity among the rough work-number pairs, arranged in neat columns of varying length. Rheinhardt had forgotten most of his school mathematics. Even so, he was reasonably confident that these pairings had nothing to do with Zelenka's calculations. Moreover, although some were in Zelenka's hand, most of them were in someone else's- someone whose numerals were much smaller. Inspection of the marginalia soon established that the additional number pairs had been produced by the mathematics master, Herr Sommer.

What did they mean?

Rheinhardt remembered that Liebermann-for reasons the young doctor had not cared to disclose-was of the opinion that Herr Sommer should be closely questioned. Liebermann's penchant for mystification was extremely irritating, but Rheinhardt could not suppress a smile, impressed as he was by his friend's perspicacity.

Liebermann had spent much of the afternoon conversing with a patient who had once been a distinguished jurist and who now suffered from dementia praecox. One of the symptoms of the old lawyer's illness was incontinence of speech. He had expounded upon a bizarre but entirely cohesive philosophical system that had been revealed to him-so he claimed-by an angelic being (ordinarily resident on Phobos, a satellite of the planet Mars). It was the jurist's intention to record this new doctrine in a volume that he maintained would one day become the scriptural foundation of a new religion.

The old lawyer's speech was ponderous, and after the first hour Liebermann's concentration began to falter. An image of Miss Lyd — gate insinuated itself into his mind, and, as was usually the case whenever he thought of the Englishwoman, he found himself wanting her company and conversation.

The jurist droned on, speaking of circles of influence, Platonic ideals, and the progress of souls; however, Liebermann had disengaged. The jurist's words carried no meaning and became nothing more than a soporific incantation.

Miss Lyd gate.

Amelia…

What an extraordinary woman she was. How different from all the other women he had met in his life. Liebermann thought of his adolescent infatuations, the dalliances of his university years-and Clara Weiss, to whom he had once been engaged: beautiful, amusing, and from a family much like his own. Yet he had not really enjoyed her company. Clara was too superficial, preoccupied as she was with fashion and society gossip. Unable to sustain a meaningful conversation, she was the very opposite of Amelia.

Liebermann whispered her name: the weak syncopation of the A followed by the subtle lilt of the last three syllables. The second of the four, he noticed, required him to bring his lips together-as in a kiss.

Amelia, Amelia…

How he wanted to see her, to sit with her in her modest parlor, breathing the subtly scented sweet must of old volumes, drinking tea, and listening to her precise and ever so slightly accented German. Something inside him, something profoundly deep, altered-an inner movement or shifting. The sensation was impossible to describe, but a memory came to his aid that captured-at least in part-the quality of his experience. Once, in the Tyrol, he had watched a great lake thawing. He had listened to the groaning sounds emanating from the frozen-solid surface-a doleful music reminiscent of human lamentation. Then, quite suddenly, the keening had been silenced by a thunderous crack. A jagged black rift had appeared, and two massive ice floes slowly drifted apart. This was how he felt now. As if something locked-something frozen-had suddenly been released.

It was a moment of revelation, every bit as mysterious as those described by the jurist.

He wanted to see Miss Lyd gate, not only because her conversation was stimulating, but also-more truthfully-because he was haunted. Yes, haunted! By the redness of her hair, the gleaming whiteness of her shoulders, the intensity of her pewter eyes, and the memory of her waist-held close-as they'd danced; by the precious rarity of her smile, the accidental touching of hands, and the ghostly imaginings that anticipate the transformation of sensual dreams into reality. In short, he wanted to see Miss Lyd gate because he was in love with her. He had never permitted himself to use that word before in relation to Miss Lyd gate, but as he did so now, he recognized that it possessed the authority of an indisputable diagnosis.

“Thank you,” said Liebermann, interrupting the jurist's disquisition. “Most interesting. We shall continue our discussion tomorrow.”

“But I have only just begun to explain the principle of equivalence,” protested the jurist.

“Indeed.”

“An essential teaching, particularly if you are to appreciate fully the moral implications of the principle of plurality.”

“Very true-I'm sure; however, regretfully, I really must draw our meeting to a close.”

Liebermann summoned a nurse and instructed her to escort the old jurist back to his bed. He returned to his office, where he made some perfunctory notes. Then, grabbing his new coat (another stylish astrakhan), he departed the hospital with long, purposeful strides.

Unexpectedly, the weather had become more clement. The air was warmer, and carried with it a foretaste of distant spring-the promise of renewal.

Liebermann felt elated, relieved of the onerous burden of pretence and self-deception. He would arrive at Amelia Lyd gate's door unencumbered by excuses or insincere justifications. It was not his intention to declare his love, but rather to initiate a process of change. His intercourse with Miss Lyd gate had always been formal. This was attributable, in part, to the Englishwoman's character (the famed reserve of that indomitable island race); but it was also due to their shared history, their past roles as doctor and patient, something of which had persisted well beyond the termination of Miss Lyd gate's treatment. If their relationship could be placed on a different footing, then perhaps there was hope… She was a thoroughly undemonstrative person, yet he had reason to believe that honesty would now prevail. In the minutiae of her behavior, he had more than once observed-so he flattered himself-evidence of a burgeoning attachment. His love would be reciprocated! And if he was wrong? Well, so be it! At least, in Nietzsche's eternally recurring universe, the dissatisfaction, frustration, and pain arising from his inauthentic existence would be short-lived.

The young doctor had become so preoccupied by his racing thoughts that his journey through Alsergrund seemed to take no time at all. Suddenly, Frau Rubenstein's house reared up in front of him. He paused, collected himself, took a deep breath, and raised the knocker. Three decisive strikes announced his arrival.

What should I say to her?

On such occasions, it was usually Liebermann's custom to rehearse a speech of some kind-to decide upon a few ready phrases. But he had been too agitated to discipline his thoughts to this end, and he now found his head filled with a yawning emptiness.

He waited… and waited.

Perhaps… I shall invite her to the opera-or another ball?

More time passed-and he knocked again.

The door opened, and he drew back in surprise. It was not Miss Lyd gate's face that had appeared but the wrinkled visage of Frau Rubenstein.

“Herr Dr. Liebermann.”

“Frau Rubenstein.” He bowed and took her hand.

“I am afraid that Amelia is not here,” said the old woman. “She left about an hour ago.” After a slight pause, she added, “With a gentleman.” This addendum was colored by a frown and a note of disapproval.