Michael Pearce - The Mingrelian Conspiracy

‘Yes. Only two and a half weeks away. I tick off each day on my calendar. Between you and me, it will be a great relief when it’s all over. If anything goes wrong, it’ll be my head on the block. Not literally, of course. We’re not a barbarous people.’

‘I must apologize once again,’ said Paul, beginning to rise from his chair.

‘Say no more about it. A mere bagatelle. A few drunken muzhiks, that’s all it was. Of course, I cannot formally withdraw my complaint.’

‘Oh, dear,’ said Paul, sitting down again. ‘I was hoping-’

‘If it was me, that would be the end of it. But, of course, when it’s my country-’

‘No insult was intended, Charge!’

‘Of course not. They were too drunk to know what they were doing. But one was received, and since it was in public, and in view of the forthcoming visit-’

‘But, Charge, precisely because of the forthcoming visit, mightn’t we hush things up? We don’t want a diplomatic incident, do we?’

‘ We don’t,’ said the Charge, ‘but back at home they might.’

‘I must confess this is a blow, Charge. I had hoped for a quiet run-up to the Grand Duke’s visit.’

‘Me too,’ said the Charge.

‘You don’t think you could postpone your complaint? Say, till after the visit was over?’

‘It’s already with the Parquet. It wouldn’t look good if I was to withdraw it and then put it back in.’

‘True, true. All the same-the fact is, Charge, this stupid incident comes at a most awkward time.’

‘I can see that. Any other time, the British wouldn’t pay any attention.’

‘Well, that’s exactly it. Go on, Charge, be a decent chap and I will send you round a bottle of Chateau d’Yquem.’

‘Well-’ said the Charge, weakening.

‘You’re the only one who’s left now.’

‘There were others? Other countries are involved?’

‘No, no! It’s just that the Mingrelian community-’

‘Mingrelian!’ The Charge shot upright. ‘They were behind it?’

‘No, no! They were on the receiving end, actually-’

‘Assaulted?’

‘I’m afraid so.’

The Charge leaped up from his chair and threw his arms around Paul.

‘The Mingrelians? Assaulted? But this is excellent news, excellent!’ He folded Owen, too, in a deep embrace. ‘My government will be delighted! Oh, that’s the way to do it! First we give it them back at home, now you give it them here! Excellent!’

He pressed the bell on his desk.

‘Vodka!’ he shouted. ‘Vodka, to celebrate! A toast! Undying friendship between our countries!’ He pressed Paul emotionally to him once again. ‘That is the way allies should behave! I will let my people know at once. The Mingrelians! Thrashed! And that’s even before Duke Nicholas gets here-’ He stopped suddenly.

‘Why not?’ he said. ‘Why not? I’ll put it to him. Those fine, brave men! A medal! For service to the Tsar! I’ll do it! You can rely on me!’

‘And the complaint? You withdraw the complaint?’

‘Complaint?’ said the Charge. ‘What complaint? I have no complaint. Oh, no! Far from it!’

‘The Grand Duke’s visit?’ said Owen.

‘I was going to tell you about it. It’s just that I didn’t want to bother you when your mind was on more important things, like the cafes. The Khedive has invited him. In about three weeks’ time.’

‘A State Visit?’

‘Semi-State. Duke Nicholas is only the heir. He’s supposed to be on an informal tour of the Mediterranean. Well, actually, he’s so unpopular at home that the Tsar wanted to get him out of the country before someone threw a bomb at him.’

‘And the Khedive invited him here?’

‘That’s right. You, of course, will be responsible for security.’

‘There’s going to be a ball,’ said Zeinab.

‘It’s not been decided yet.’

‘And that, of course,’ said Zeinab, disregarding him, ‘creates a major problem: what am I going to wear?’

‘It’s not been decided yet. The meeting’s not till tomorrow. Look, I know. I’m going to it.’

‘And then there will be the opera as well. I’ll need two dresses. The trouble is, there isn’t a decent dress in Cairo. Anton says he might be getting some in, but everyone will be fighting for them and, besides, they’ll all have seen them. So I thought I would cable Paris direct. Now here’s the problem: I don’t want to do it through Posts and Telegraphs in the ordinary way, or else people will get to know about it. So-look, are you listening, this is important-can you send a cable for me? Using the diplomatic channel?’

‘No. Absolutely not.’

‘I’ll bet the Consul-General’s wife is.’

‘What she does is her own business.’

‘You don’t love me,’ said Zeinab.

‘Of course I love you. Now-’

‘You don’t love me. Not in the way he loves her.’

‘I should bloody hope not,’ said Owen, an image of the Consul-General and his stately lady coming vividly before his mind.

‘I know what it is. You don’t want me to go. You are ashamed of me. There will be all those lords and ladies, those petty princelings from petty little countries, Wales, I wouldn’t be surprised, and you say: what is an Egyptian woman doing among that lot? Well, let me tell you, the daughter of a Pasha, especially the illegitimate daughter of a Pasha, has got more love and life and passion in her little finger than any of them have in their whole body!’

‘I think that’s more than likely,’ said Owen.

‘Wasted!’ said Zeinab dramatically. ‘On you!’

‘Not wasted; I greatly enjoy it.’

‘In private, yes, but not in public.’

‘Well, what the hell do you want us to do? Make love in the middle of Abdin Square?’

‘Take me to the ball.’

‘I am taking you to the ball. If there is one.’

‘You know I can’t come if I’m not properly dressed.’

‘You will be properly dressed. You’ve got lots of dresses. They’re all there on the rack. Look, bloody hundreds of them-’

‘You want to see me in rags!’

‘Rags! This one cost more than a year’s pay! You told me. Afterwards.’

‘I passed the bill to my father. He will not want to see me dressed like some parvenue. He has pride. We are like that in Egypt. Proud people. We know what is fitting. Unlike the boring, bourgeois British.’

‘Look, I am not going to use the Diplomatic Postbag just to send a cable to your couturier.’

‘Just?’ said Zeinab.

Even the flies in the committee room seemed stupefied by the heat. This was unusual, thought Owen, since flies were normally the most active part of the population. Perhaps it was not the heat that was getting to them but committee life. The shutters of the committee room were kept closed in a vain attempt to keep the temperature down and perhaps the flies could never get out. They spent their lives in eternal committee. My God, thought Owen; what a life! For a second or two he felt quite indignant on their behalf but then the heat had its effect on him, too, and he settled back gloomily in his chair.

‘The itinerary first,’ said Paul. ‘Duke Nicholas will transfer to the Khedivial Yacht at Alexandria, pass through the Canal to Suez and then take the overland train to Cairo. He will spend three days in Cairo as the guest of His Royal Highness, the Khedive, and then go upriver to Luxor to view the antiquities. He will then return to Cairo and spend two days at the Palace recovering from the rigours of his journey. Then he will travel by train to Alexandria, spend a day there and depart by boat on the Thursday evening. The whole visit will last twelve days, including the two to be spent on the Royal Yacht.’

‘That bit should be all right from the point of view of security,’ observed the major.