Boris Akunin - Turkish Gambit

'And in the middle of it all the lord and master of this henhouse, wrapped in his robe, with a hookah and a blissful smile on his bright red lips’ Zurov mused dreamily.

'I am afraid I must disappoint you, Mister Captain. In addition to the wives, a harem is also poor female relatives, a throng of children, including other people's, countless female servants, old female slaves living out their final days and God knows what else. And this entire horde has to be fed and supported by the breadwinner, the man. The richer and more powerful he is, the more dependants he has and the heavier the burden of responsibility that he bears. The system of the harem is not only humane, it is the only possible system in the conditions of the East - without it many women would quite simply have starved to death.'

'What you describe is some kind of phalanstery, and you make the Turkish husband sound like Charles Fourier’ Varya protested impatiently. 'Would it not be better to give women the chance to support themselves, rather than keeping them in the position of slaves?'

'The society of the East is sluggish and little disposed to change, Mademoiselle Barbara,' the Frenchman replied deferentially, pronouncing her name so sweetly in French that it was quite impossible to be angry with him. 'It has very few jobs, every one of which has to be fought for, and women would not survive in competition with the men. And in any case, a wife is by no means a slave. If a husband is not to her liking, she can always reclaim her freedom. All she need do is to make her husband's life so unbearable that he cries out angrily in the presence of witnesses: "You are no longer my wife!" You must agree that it is not very difficult to reduce a husband to such a state. After that, she can collect her things and go. Divorce in the East is not what it is in the West; it is simple. And at the same time, the man is solitary, while the women form a collective. Is it any wonder, therefore, that the real power lies with the harem and not with its master? The most important figures in the Ottoman Empire are not the sultan and the grand vizier, but the padishah's mother and his favourite wife. And also, of course, the kizlyar-agazi - the head eunuch of the harem.'

'And just how many wives is the sultan allowed to have?' Perepyolkin asked, with a guilty glance at Sobolev. 'I'm only asking as a matter of information, of course.'

'Four, like any true believer. But in addition to fully fledged wives, the padishah also has ikbal - something like his favourites - and very young gediklas - "maidens pleasing to the eye", who are aspirants to the role of the ikbal'

'Now that's a bit more like it,' said Lukan with a satisfied nod. Spotting Varya's scornful glance, he gave one side of his moustache a smart twirl.

Sobolev (another fine goose) asked in a voluptuous voice: 'But surely in addition to wives and concubines there are the slave girls?'

'All of the sultan's women are slaves, but only until a child is born. Then the mother immediately acquires the title of princess and all the privileges that go with it. For instance, the all-powerful Sultana Besma, mother of the late Abdul-Aziz, was once a simple bath-house attendant, but she lathered Mehmed II so successfully that first he took her as a concubine and then he made her his favourite wife. The career opportunities for women in Turkey are truly unlimited’

'But all the same, it must be devilishly tiring, having a crowd like that hanging round your neck,' one of the journalists mused. 'I'd say it's a bit too much.'

'Several sultans have also come to the same conclusion,' said Paladin with a smile. 'Ibrahim I, for instance, grew terribly weary of all his wives. It was easier for Ivan the Terrible or Henry VIII to deal with such a situation: send the old wife to the block or to a convent, and then you can take a new one. But what can you do if you have an entire harem?'

'Yes, what can you do?' inquired one of the listeners.

'The Turks, gentlemen, do not easily submit in the face of adversity. The padishah ordered all the women to be stuffed into sacks and drowned in the Bosporus. When morning came His Majesty was a bachelor again and he could acquire a new harem.'

The men chortled, but Varya exclaimed: 'You ought to be ashamed of yourselves, gentlemen. This is really quite appalling!'

'But almost a hundred years ago, Mademoiselle Varya, manners at the sultan's court were moderated substantially,' Paladin reassured her. 'And all thanks to one exceptional woman who just happens to be a compatriot of mine.'

'Then tell us about it,' said Varya.

'The story is as follows. One of the passengers on board a French ship sailing the Mediterranean was an exceptionally beautiful seventeen-year-old girl whose name was Aimee Dubucque de Riverie. She was born on the magical island of Martinique, which has given the world many legendary beauties, including Madame de Maintenon and Josephine Beauharnais. In fact our young Aimee knew the latter (at the time still plain Josephine de Taschery) very well; they were even friends. History has nothing to say on the subject of why this delightful Creole girl decided to set out on a voyage through seas teeming with pirates. All we do know is that off the coast of Sardinia the ship was seized by corsairs and Aimee found herself in the slave market of Algiers, where she was bought by the Dey of Algiers himself - the very one who, according to Monsieur Popritschine, had a lump under his nose. The dey was old and no longer susceptible to female beauty, but he was very interested in good relations with the Sublime Porte, so poor Aimee made the journey to Istanbul as a living gift to Sultan Abdul-Hamid I, the great-grandfather of the present-day Abdul-Hamid II. The padishah treated his captive gently, like a priceless treasure. He imposed no constraints on her and did not even oblige her to convert to Mohamedanism. And for the patience shown by the wise ruler, Aimee rewarded him with her love. In Turkey she is known by the name of Nashedil-sultan. She gave birth to Prince Mehmed, who later ascended the throne and is known to history as a great reformer. His mother taught him French and gave him a taste for French literature and French freethinking. Ever since then Turkey has looked towards the West.'

'You're a great spinner of tales, Paladin,' McLaughlin commented cantankerously. 'No doubt you stretched the truth and embroidered it a little as always.'

The Frenchman smiled mischievously without speaking and Zurov, who for some time had been showing clear signs of impatience, exclaimed in sudden inspiration: 'Yes indeed, gentlemen, why don't we lay out a little game? All this talk, talk, talk. Really and truly, it's just not natural somehow.'

Varya heard Fandorin give a dull groan.

'Erasmus, you're not invited,' the count added hastily. 'The devil himself deals your hands.'

'Your Excellency,' Perepyolkin protested, 'I hope you will not permit gambling in your presence?'

Sobolev brushed his objections aside like an annoying fly. 'Stop that, Captain. Don't be such a pain in the neck. It's all very well for you, in your operations section. You at least have some kind of work to do, but I'm rusting away from sheer idleness. I don't play myself, Count - I'm far too impetuous - but I will certainly watch.'

Varya saw Perepyolkin staring at the handsome general with the eyes of a beaten dog.

'Perhaps just for small stakes then?' Lukan drawled uncertainly. 'To reinforce the ties of soldierly comradeship.'

'To reinforce the ties, of course, and just for small stakes,' Zurov said with a nod, tipping several unopened decks of cards on to the table out of his sabretache. 'A hundred to be in. Who else, gentlemen?'

The bank was made up in a moment and soon the marquee rang to magical wordplay: