Janet Evanovich - Ten Big Ones

'Yo, yourself,' I said. 'I'm going nuts here. What am I supposed to do? There's nothing good on television. There are no books or magazines. No cross-stitch, needlepoint, knitting. And don't suggest I go to the gym. It's not going to happen.'

Ranger disconnected.

I punched his number in again. 'What was that?' I said. 'You disconnected me!'

'Babe,' Ranger said.

I did a sigh and hung up.

Ranger walked through the door a few minutes after six. He tossed his keys into the dish and did a cursory shuffle of the mail Ella had brought up earlier. He looked up from the mail and locked eyes with me. 'You're looking a little crazy, Babe.'

I was coming off five hours of television and two hours of hall pacing. 'I'm leaving now,' I said. 'I'm going to the mall, and I just waited around so I could say thank you. I appreciate the use of your apartment, and I'm going to miss the shower gel big-time, but I have to go. So it would be good if you made sure no one stun-gunned me.'

Ranger returned the letters to the silver tray. 'No.'

'No?'

'Junkman is still out there.'

'Have you made any progress?'

'We have a name,' Ranger said. 'Norman Carver.'

'Norman's not going to be at the mall. And excuse me, you're blocking the door.'

'Give it a rest,' Ranger said.

'Give it a rest, yourself,' I said, giving him a shot to the shoulder. 'Get out of my way.'

All day long the car keys had been sitting in the dish. And truth is, I didn't actually believe Ranger told his guys to stun-gun me. I'd stayed in the apartment because I didn't want to die. And I still didn't want to die, but I was resenting the passive role I was forced to play. I was antsy, and I was unhappy. I wanted my life to be different. I wanted to be Ranger. He was good at being a tough guy.

I was crappy at it. I was also finding it ironic that I'd walked out on Morelli only to find myself in the same position with Ranger.

I gave Ranger another shove, and he shoved back, pinning me to the wall with his body.

'I've had a long, unsatisfying day,' Ranger said. 'I'm low on patience. Don't push me.'

He was effortlessly leaning into me, holding me there with his weight, and I was immobilized. Not only was I immobilized, I was starting to get turned on.

'This really pisses me off,' I said.

He'd been out all day, and he still smelled wonderful. His warmth was oozing into me, his cheek was resting against the side of my head, his hands were flat against the wall, framing my shoulders. Without thinking, I snuggled into him and brushed my lips across his neck in a light kiss.

'No fair,' he said.

I shifted under him and felt him stir against me.

'I've got the weight and the muscle,' he said. 'But I'm starting to think you've got the power.'

'Do I have enough power to persuade you to take me shopping?'

'God doesn't have that much power. Did Ella bring dinner up?'

'About ten minutes ago. It's in the kitchen.'

He pushed away from me, ruffled my hair, and went to the kitchen in search of food. The door was left unattended. The car keys were in the dish.

'Arrogant bastard,' I yelled after him.

He turned and flashed me the full-on smile.

I was still at the breakfast table when Ranger came out of the bedroom wearing a fully loaded utility belt and an unzipped flak jacket. 'Try not to get too crazy today,' he said, heading for the door.

'Yeah,' I said. 'And you should try not to get shot.'

It was a disturbing goodbye because we both meant what we said.

At five o'clock Lula called on my cell phone. 'They got him,' she said. 'Connie and me have been listening to the police channel, and we just heard that they got Junkman.'

'Any details?'

'Not much. It sounded to us like he got stopped for running a red, and when they checked him out they got lucky.'

'No one was hurt?'

'No call went out.'

I felt weak with relief. It was over. 'Thanks,' I said. 'I'll see you tomorrow.'

'Have fun,' Lula said.

If I hurried, I could pick something up for Valerie and make the shower. I left a note to Ranger, grabbed the keys to the Turbo, and took the elevator to the garage.

The elevator doors opened at garage level, and Hal burst out of the stairwell door. 'Excuse me,' he said, 'Ranger would prefer that you stay in the building.'

'It's okay,' I told him. 'Code red is over, and I'm going shopping.'

'I'm afraid I can't let you do that.'

So, Ranger hadn't been yanking my chain. He'd actually given orders to keep me here.

'Men.' I said. 'You're all a bunch of chauvinist morons.'

Hal didn't have anything to say to that.

'Get out of my way,' I said to him.

'I can't let you leave the building,' he said.

'And how are you going to stop me?'

He shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. He had a stun gun in his hand.

'Well?' I asked.

'I'm supposed to stun you, if I have to.'

'Okay, let me get this straight. You're going to stun-gun the woman who's been living with Ranger?'

Hal's face was red, leaning toward purple. 'Don't give me a hard time,' he said. 'I like this job, and I'll lose it if I screw up with you.'

'You touch me with that stun gun and I'll have you arrested for assault. You won't have to worry about this job.'

'Jeez,' Hal said.

'Wait a minute,' I said. 'Let me see the gun for just a second.'

Hal held the stun gun out to me. I took it, pressed it to his arm, and he went down like a ton of bricks. Hal wasn't a bad guy, but he was dumb as a box of rocks.

I leaned over him to make sure he was breathing, gave him his gun back, got into the Turbo, and motored out of the garage. I knew the control room would see me on the screen, and someone would check on Hal. I hated to stun him, but I was a woman on a mission. I needed a shower gift.

Ordinarily I'd go to the mall off Route I, but I didn't have a lot of time, and I was worried about traffic. So I stopped at an electronics store on the way across town and bought Valerie a picture cell phone and a year's service. It wasn't a real bridey present, but I knew she needed a phone and couldn't afford to buy one for herself. I swung into a pharmacy and got a card and a gift bag, and I was in business. I could have been a little more dressed.

Sneakers and jeans, a white stretchy T-shirt, and denim jacket wasn't standard fare for a Burg shower, but it was the best I could do without making another stop.

The lot was filled when I got to the hall. The big yellow school bus was parked at the edge. My mother had hired Sally and his band to entertain. JoAnne Waleski was catering. When we did a shower in the Burg, we really did a shower.

I was in the lot when my cell phone rang.

'Babe,' Ranger said. 'What are you doing at the VFW?'

'Valerie's shower. Is Hal okay?'

'Yeah. You were caught on camera again. The men in the control room were laughing so hard when you stunned Hal they couldn't get down the stairs fast enough to stop you from leaving the garage.'

'I heard they caught Junkman, so I thought it was okay to leave.'

'I heard that, too, but I haven't been able to confirm the capture. I've got a man on you. Try not to destroy him.'

Disconnect.

I went into the hall and looked for Grandma. Sally was on stage, doing rap in a red cocktail dress and red sequined heels. The rest of the band was in gargantuan T-shirts and baggy-ass pants.

It was too noisy to hear my phone ring, but I felt the vibration.

'Stephanie,' my mother said, 'is your sister with you? She was supposed to be here an hour ago.'

'Did you call the apartment?'

'Yes. I talked to Albert. He said Valerie wasn't there. He said she took off in the Buick. I thought maybe she got confused and went to the shower without me. She's been getting confused a lot lately.'