Janet Evanovich - Full Bloom

Theenie planted her hands on her hips. "I'm going to pretend you didn't say that." She turned to Doc. "Is he in danger?"

"No, but he's probably going to be out for a while. That's not good considering he has a head injury. That and the fact he won't let go of Annie."

"Life can be hard like that," Destiny said.

Annie felt a sense of dread. "We have to get him to the hospital."

Theenie shook her head and began to pick at her fingernails. "If we do, they'll ask questions. Doc could get into a lot of trouble for dispensing medication, seeing as how he's not practicing anymore."

"Oh boy," Doc muttered under his breath.

Annie gave a huge sigh. "I'm going to lose my house. I'll have to sleep in the bus station and keep my stuff in a grocery cart."

"We'll be homeless," Theenie said. "I'll have to sleep in a cardboard box. Everybody will find out. I won't be able to show my face in Susie Q's Cut and Curl." She pulled a lace handkerchief from her pocket, put it to her nose, and sniffed. "My hair will be a mess."

Destiny and Jamie exchanged glances.

Annie looked at Doc. "Think of something fast."

"Be nice if we could wake him. Maybe we could get him into the shower and douse him with cold water."

"Okay," Annie said calmly. "Theenie, call Erdle. We'll need all the help we can get. Doc, don't you think you should check his pulse or something?"

"Good idea." Doc got down on his knees and pulled a worn stethoscope and penlight from his bag. He listened to Wes's heart, shone the light in his eyes, and took his pulse. "Everything seems normal."

Erdle came through the door and almost stumbled over his own feet. "Miss Annie!"

"Don't just stand there, Erdle, help me!" she said. "See if you can pry the man's hands loose."

Erdle hurried around behind her and tried to pull her free. "Golly, he's strong as a bull!" He pulled with all his might.

Wes opened his eyes and stared into Annie's face. His words were slurred when he spoke. "You got, um, a nice, um …" He frowned as if trying to come up with the word. Finally, he closed his eyes.

Annie shook him. "What?"

His eyes remained closed. "A nice ass," he said. Once again, he began to snore.

"Oh, I shouldn't be listening to this," Theenie said, covering her ears.

Everyone in the room was silent for a moment. Annie stared openmouthed at the man beneath her. So he'd noticed her after all. Her ego moved up a notch. Not that he was her type, mind you. Not that she had a type. But Wes looked, well, he looked a little dangerous, a little rough around the edges. Besides, she'd sworn off men.

Still … Wes made her feel sort of feminine, like she should go upstairs and put on a pair of panty hose.

Not a good sign.

Erdle managed to lift Wes's arms, and Annie shimmied out, her cheek rubbing every bone and muscle along the way, although she did her best to lift her head and not touch his crotch.

"Wow," Destiny said. "I hope it was as good for him as it was for you."

Annie shot her a look as she took a deep breath. "Okay," she said, trying to pull her muddled thoughts together. "I think it'll be easier if we drag him into the bathroom. Theenie, you hold his head off the floor so it doesn't bounce. Erdle, you grab the other arm. The rest of you, get his legs and try to shove him in the direction of the bathroom while Erdle and I pull." She waited until everyone was in place. "Okay, let's do it!"

The six of them went to work, pulling Wes across the kitchen, the hall, and finally into the bathroom. They paused in the cramped space to catch their breath. Annie pushed the shower curtain aside. "Okay," she said, "I think it would be better if we got his legs in first."

"Are we going to put him in with all his clothes on?" Theenie asked.

They exchanged looks. "Maybe we should at least strip him down to his underwear," Annie said.

"What if he doesn't wear underwear?" Theenie asked. "He doesn't exactly look the type."

"I'll check," Doc said. The women turned their backs. "Yep, he's wearing them."

"Okay," Annie said to Erdle, trying to sound businesslike and matter-of-fact, even though her pulse was going wacko. "Let's strip him down." The others, including a disgruntled Destiny, stepped from the room. Erdle and Annie managed to free Wes from his clothes, with the exception of a pair of boxer shorts adorned with red hearts.

"Get a load of that," Erdle said.

"Huh?" Annie tried not to stare at the lean, muscular body, but it would have been impossible not to look. She knew Erdle was referring to Wes's boxer shorts. "I'm sure he didn't purchase them for himself. Probably his wife or girlfriend."

"Awesome," Destiny said, peeking around the door. "It's almost worth it just to see that. Cool boxers, huh?"

Annie tore her gaze from his body. "Okay, everybody back in here. Let's get him in the bathtub."

It was not an easy task, but once they'd settled Wes into the tub, Theenie stuffed a towel beneath his head to protect it from further harm. Annie pulled the curtain closed and turned on the cold water full force. She reached in and adjusted the spray so it would hit his face. The man remained immobile. After several minutes, Annie turned off the water and looked at Doc. "He's not responding."

"Let's give it time. He should come around eventually. I hope I'm not here when he does."

Annie didn't bother to hide her annoyance. "What should we do with him in the meantime?"

"Be best to dry him off and cover him with a blanket," Doc told her.

Annie gaped. "You mean leave him in the bathtub?"

"I don't think we're going to be able to get him out."

Annie shook her head sadly as she moved to the linen cabinet. "This day can't get any worse."

"Unless he dies," Theenie said fretfully. "I don't know what we'll do then. Probably we'll go to jail. Which is probably a whole lot better than being homeless when you think about it," she added, only to frown. "Unless, well, you know what happens behind prison walls. We could end up in a cell with a big woman who decides to make us her b-i-t-c-h." She shuddered.

Destiny just looked at her. "Have you ever considered taking Xanax?"

Theenie ignored her. "I'll grab a blanket," she said, hurrying from the room.

Annie dried Wes from head to toe, all the while trying to ignore how good he looked. "His underwear is soaked," she said as Theenie returned with the blanket.

"Best to get him out of them," Doc replied.

Annie took a step back. "I'm not doing it."

"Let me do it," Destiny said.

Theenie squared her shoulders. "No, I'll do it," she said, surprising everyone in the room. "It's not like I haven't seen my share of naked bodies, what with being a nurse's aide and all." She looked at Destiny. "Besides, this should be done in a professional manner."

Destiny gave a grunt. "Yeah, right. You want to get a look at Mr. Big as bad as the rest of us."

"I'm not listening to that kind of talk," Theenie said, covering her ears. "La la la la la."

Destiny looked at Jamie. "Is it me or what?"

Theenie glanced at Annie. "Is she done talking dirty yet?"

Annie nodded and Theenie dropped her hands to her sides. "Okay, everybody out," the older woman said. "I have a job to do. And no peeking," she added, looking right at Destiny.

Annie followed the others out of the bathroom. She skidded to a halt. Standing on the other side of the door was her friend Danny Gilbert. She feigned a smile as her cohorts in crime scattered.

"I rang the doorbell," he said. He glanced about the room. "Why does everybody look so serious? Is something wrong?"

Annie pulled the bathroom door closed. "Wrong?" She tried to think fast. "Oh well—" She jumped as a moan sounded from the bathroom.

"What was that?" Danny asked.