William Johnston - Get Smart Once Again!

The men stood back, looking sheepish.

“That’s a free-throw for me,” Max said. “Everybody keep away!”

The men waited, tense and eager. And Max lobbed the ball to Peaches.

As she caught it, the men came to life and rushed at her once more.

Peaches tossed the ball high into the air-toward Max. But, as the ball rose toward the ceiling, the trap door above opened, and a hand reached down and snatched the ball from the air.

“Interference!” Noman shrieked.

“What happened?” Peaches asked, perplexed.

“I think the referee got into the game,” Max said.

Noman whipped around and raced from the cell, leaving the door open.

“After him!” Max cried.

Max and Peaches ran from the cell, and saw Noman disappearing up a stairway.

At the same time, the men in the cell cried out to Max and Peaches. “Stop! Wait! Lock the door!”

Max and Peaches halted.

“Lock the door?” Max said.

“We might escape!” one of the men explained fearfully.

“Oh… yes.” Max walked back to the cell and locked it. “There you are-snug in your spell in the cell.”

“We’ll never forget you for this,” the men said. “If you ever have a TV program, we promise to watch you.”

“That’s hardly likely,” Max said. He turned back to Peaches. “Onward and upward!” he cried.

They raced up the stairs. And just as they reached the top they saw Noman again. He went charging through the doorway. As he did, however, a foot was stuck in his path, and he fell flat on his face and skidded across the floor.

Max and Peaches reached the doorway just in time to see Noman plummet through the trap door.

“Happy landing!” Max called out.

They went to the trap door and looked down. Noman was in the locked cell, shaking a fist up at them.

Max shook a fist back at him.

“Why are you doing that?” Peaches asked.

“Good manners are never out of fashion,” Max replied. “When someone shakes a fist at you, politeness requires that you shake a fist back at him.” He closed the trap door. “That, I suspect, is the end of Noman,” he said.

“I hope so. But, Max, where is the Plan?”

Max looked around the room. It was vacant. “Look for a foot,” he said.

“A foot?”

“The foot that tripped Noman. Attached to that foot, I think, we will find our benefactor-whoever it was who snatched the Plan out of the air.”

“I wouldn’t even know where to look,” Peaches said.

“Logic will reveal the answer,” Max replied. “Now, logically, where would you expect to find a foot? In a shoe-right? And where would you expect to find a shoe?”

“On a foot?”

“Technically, yes. But I don’t think that kind of reasoning will get us anywhere. Where else would you expect to find a shoe? The answer, obviously, is: in a shoe store.”

“Max, you’re mad.”

“May I remind you that there is only a thin line between madness and genius. Now,” he said, glancing around, “let’s look for a thin line.”

“How about this crack in the floor?”

“That’s it!” Max said.

They followed the crack in the floor, which led to the doorway, which led outside.

Max looked up and down the street. “There it is,” he said, pointing. “The Happy Feet Shoe Store.”

They went to the store and entered. There was no one in sight.

“The Plan is lost,” Peaches said. “That must have been another KAOS agent who took it.”

“Let’s not give up yet,” Max said. “Not while we still have logic on our side. Now, where, in a shoe store, would a shoe be? In a shoe box, right?”

“I want to go home,” Peaches moaned.

Max walked to the shelves of shoe boxes. “Do you have any idea what size shoe that was that tripped up Noman?” he said.

“12-C?”

“No, I think it was closer to a size… Ah, here it is,” Max said. “A size 44.”

Max pulled the shoe box from the shelf-and the face of Agent 44 appeared in the opening.

“Here’s the Plan, Max,” 44 said, pushing the paper out through the opening.

“Thank you, 44.”

“See you around, Max.”

“Duck,” Max replied.

44 ducked. And Max pushed the shoe box back into the hole.

Max turned to Peaches. “Simple logic,” he said.

“Can we leave now?” Peaches said. “Even if Noman is locked in that cell, I’m frightened. Maybe he has another key. He may be looking for us right now.”

“I doubt that,” Max said. “I have a feeling that we’ve seen the last of Noman. Besides, I think I better report in to the Chief. As I told you, he worries.”

“All right. But hurry!”

Max took off his shoe, and dialed.

Chief: Chief, here. Who’s calling?

Max: This is Max, Chief.

Chief: Max who?

Max: Max Smart, Chief. Remember me? The one you worry about if I don’t call in every once in a while.

Chief: Oh, yes, that Max. Well, where are you, Max-New York, Moscow or Peking?

Max: Actually, Chief, we’re in a little town outside Washington. We’ve had a number of setbacks.

Chief: Max-the Plan. Do you still have the Plan?

Max: At the moment, yes. And, Chief, I have also found a number of the agents we’ve lost over the past few years. They’re here in this little town. They’re watching television.

Chief: Max, we must have a bad connection. I thought you said they’re watching television.

Max: It isn’t the connection, Chief. That’s exactly what I said.

Chief: Max, that’s hard to believe.

Max: Would you believe that they’re watching radio?

Chief: I don’t believe so.

Max: Then would you believe that they’re watching the third window from the left on the second floor of the building next door, waiting for the shade to go up?

Chief: That sounds more like it. Tell them as soon as that shade goes up I want them to get right back here, Max. If they’re back by noon tomorrow, they can keep their retirement benefits.

Max: I know a taxi driver who will be happy to hear that, Chief.

Chief: Max, have you deciphered the code yet?

Max: There’s still some debate about that, Chief. But, if you have an agent stationed in the Astor hotel, you might ask him to check the rooms. If he finds a gangster playing baseball with a Trojan horse to the tune of ‘Over the Waves,’ then, yes, I think we’ve broken the code.

Chief: I’ll check it out, Max. But, in the meantime, keep trying.

Max: Will do.

Max hung up and put his shoe back on his foot.

“Now can we go?” Peaches said nervously.

“Just one little matter to take care of,” Max said. “I have some good news for those missing Control agents. They may not lose their retirement benefits.”

Peaches sagged. “I’ll wait in the car,” she said.

They left the shoe store and walked to the car. Max left Peaches there, then entered the courthouse.

He returned a few minutes later.

“Did you tell them?” Peaches asked.

Max nodded sadly. “Yes.”

“What did they say?”

“They said, ‘TV, si-Retirement Benefits, no.’ ”

“That’s too bad,” Peaches said.

“Yes, and that’s not all. Noman is no longer in the cell.”

“He escaped! I knew it!”

“However, little good it will do him,” Max said. “We have the Plan, and we’re on our way to New York. And, in this car, there’s no way he can stop us. We’re not likely to fall for that trooper gag again.”

“He’ll think of something else!”

“I will not stop this car again for anything,” Max said, getting in behind the wheel.

“Suppose we run out of gas?”

“I’ll peddle!”

Max started the engine and headed the car toward the highway. “While I drive, you work on the code,” he said, handing the Plan to Peaches.