Рита Браун - Santa Clawed

Ho Ho Ho

Isn’t Christmas the best? A trimmed tree to climb, presents to shred, food that falls under the table or is helpfully pushed off. Christmas is a cat’s favorite holiday.

There is one little quibble I have with how humans view Christmas. Who do you think kept mice away from Baby Jesus? Who curled up in His cradle to keep Him warm? The swaddling clothes weren’t worth squat. A cat. Oh sure, there was a donkey there and a cow and chickens, but it was a cat that did the work. A few humans remember because a tiger cat with an M on its forehead is a descendant of Mary’s cat.

Even if you don’t have a Mary’s cat, do shower your puss with tuna, chicken, beef, ham, capons, goose, catnip, and warm fuzzies to sleep on. It’s the Christian thing to do.

Sneaky Pie

Dear Reader,

For once I’ve read Sneaky’s missive to you all and I agree one hundred percent. Let me add one thing: give to your local humane shelter. Give as generously as you can. Some of the cats and dogs are there because their owner has passed away or is ill and can no longer attend to them. Most are there because of crass human irresponsibility. Personally, I’d like to bring back the stocks and put these sorry so-and-so’s in them for all to see. It’s humans who maim and abandon pets, not the reverse. So do remember Mary’s cat and all the others who are temporarily dependent on you. As Blanche DuBois said, “I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.”

Merry Christmas. Happy New Year.

About the Authors

RITA MAE BROWNis the bestselling author of several books. An Emmy- nominated screenwriter and poet, she lives in Afton, Virginia. Her website is www.ritamaebrown.com. She does not own a computer. God willing, she never will. Some times the website manager sends your queries. The safest way to reach her is in care of Bantam Books.

SNEAKY PIE BROWN, a tiger cat born somewhere in Albemarle County, Virginia, was discovered by Rita Mae Brown at her local SPCA. They have collaborated on seventeen Mrs. Murphy mysteries: Wish You Were Here; Rest in Pieces; Murder at Monticello; Pay Dirt; Murder, She Meowed; Murder on the Prowl; Cat on the Scent; Pawing Through the Past; Claws and Effect; Catch as Cat Can; The Tail of the Tip-Off; Whisker of Evil; Cat’s Eyewitness; Sour Puss; Puss ’n Cahoots; The Purrfect Murder; and Santa Clawed, in addition to Sneaky Pie’s Cookbook for Mystery Lovers.

Santa Clawed

WISH YOU WERE HERE REST IN PIECES MURDER AT MONTICELLO PAY DIRT MURDER, SHE MEOWED MURDER ON THE PROWL CAT ON THE SCENT SNEAKY PIE’S COOKBOOK FOR MYSTERY LOVERS PAWING THROUGH THE PAST CLAWS AND EFFECT CATCH AS CAT CAN THE TAIL OF THE TIP-OFF WHISKER OF EVIL CAT’S EYEWITNESS SOUR PUSS PUSS ’N CAHOOTS THE PURRFECT MURDER SANTA CLAWED

Books by Rita Mae Brown

THE HAND THAT CRADLES THE ROCK SONGS TO A HANDSOME WOMAN THE PLAIN BROWN RAPPER RUBYFRUIT JUNGLE IN HER DAY SIX OF ONE SOUTHERN DISCOMFORT SUDDEN DEATH HIGH HEARTS STARTING FROM SCRATCH: A DIFFERENT KIND OF WRITERS’ MANUAL BINGO VENUS ENVY DOLLEY: A NOVEL OF DOLLEY MADISON IN LOVE AND IN WAR RIDING SHOTGUN RITA WILL: MEMOIR OF A LITERARY RABBLE-ROUSER LOOSE LIPS ALMA MATER HOTSPUR FULL CRY OUTFOXED THE HUNT BALL THE HOUNDS AND THE FURY THE TELL-TALE HORSE THE SAND CASTLE HOUNDED TO DEATH

Published by Bantam Dell A Division of Random House, Inc. New York, New York

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved. Copyright © 2008 by American Artists, Inc. Illustrations copyright © 2008 by Michael Gellatly

Bantam Books is a registered trademark of Random House, Inc., and the colophon is a trademark of Random House, Inc.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Brown, Rita Mae. Santa clawed : a Mrs. Murphy mystery / Rita Mae Brown Sneaky Pie Brown ; illustrations by Michael Gellatly.

p. cm. eISBN 978-0-553-90592-2

:

1. Haristeen, Harry (Fictitious character)—Fiction. 2. Murphy, Mrs. (Fictitious character)—Fiction. 3. Women postal service employees—Fiction. 4. Women detectives—Virginia—Fiction. 5. Women cat owners—Fiction. 6. Cats—Fiction. 7. Crozet (Va.)—Fiction. 8. Christmas stories. I. Title.

PS3552.R698S26 2008 813'.54—dc22 2008034914

www.bantamdell.com

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