Doug Allyn - Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine. Vol. 134, No. 5. Whole No. 819, November 2009

Nancy, the director, spoke first. “Grimm, what on earth leads you to believe that Andrew was poisoned?”

“Because, Ms. Nancy, the gentleman collapsed so rapidly and his skin was very pink as I laid him out on the hall floor.”

“So what? My mother died of a heart attack while she was jogging in the park and she was pink as a pig.”

But Lorelei, the writer, had taken the next step. “Cyanide.”

“I beg your pardon,” Nancy said.

“I think Grimm is suggesting that Andrew was killed with cyanide.”

“Exactly so, Ms. Lorelei.”

Lorelei knew about cyanide. “Cyanide is extremely toxic and it’s also widely available because it’s used in a lot of common products. Many of them can easily be administered orally. What happens is that the victim’s stomach acid acts to release hydrogen cyanide gas. That causes immediate unconsciousness. Death follows within a minute, a few minutes at most.”

“How the hell do you know all this?” Nancy asked, for everyone.

“Cya-Nora,” Lorelei said.

“Say what?”

“Early photographers used potassium cyanide in their processing. I used it as a poison in my play about Nora North, the suffragette photographer-detective, when she went to Japan. Hence, the title, Cya-Nora.”

But Brett recalled something. “I thought you could smell cyanide.”

“You can,” Lorelei said. “But it smells of almonds. And what have we all been drinking?”

Victoria said, “ My special almond cordial. Oh dear.”

“Which would mask the cyanide smell completely,” Lorelei concluded.

“But Grimm,” Brett said, “are you saying that one of us poisoned Andrew with cyanide?”

“That would appear to be a reasonable conjecture, Mr. Brett.”

As a ripple ran round the table, Brett said, “But who...? Why...?”

“I may be able to be of further assistance, sir,” Grimm said. “Ms. Victoria, if I may?”

“You carry on, Grimm,” Victoria said.

“When I laid the gentleman’s remains on the carpet, I chanced to discover an audio cassette tape in the breast pocket of his jacket.”

“Do they still make those?” Nancy said.

“The cassette in question bears a label which reads, ‘To be played if I am dead.’” Grimm held up the cassette and showed everyone the label.

This news was a further shock for the already shocked company.

Grimm said, “If I might have permission to utilize your mini-stack, Ms. Victoria?”

“Any time, Grimm.”

Grimm inserted the cassette tape into a small sound system on a buffet at the side of the dining room and pressed play. Soon Andrew’s mellifluous voice was heard clearly throughout the room. “My name is Andrew Stark. If anything bad has happened to me tonight, then it wasn’t from natural causes. I just had a checkup and I’m in perfect health — a fine specimen of manhood. So if there’s no knife in my back or bullet hole between my eyes, then I must have been poisoned...”

A murmur went around the room.

“When Victoria invited me to this Frankie Almond dinner I accepted immediately. Why? Not just because I adore Victoria’s incomparable company...”

“He was such a sweet boy,” Victoria said.

“... but because it seemed the ideal opportunity to confront Nancy Oliver in person.”

“What?” Victoria said. She looked at Grimm.

“Because it was Nancy who stole my idea for Frankie Almond.”

There were intakes of breath all around the table.

The tape continued, “I never mentioned it to Victoria, but I’ve known Nancy for a long time. Then, a few years ago, I had a supporting role in a play she directed off-Broadway. One morning, over croissants, I told her all about my blockbuster idea for a ‘classic’ private eye.”

Nancy said sharply, “That’s a lie.”

“The only difference,” Andrew’s voice continued, “between my idea and what has become Frankie Almond is that I thought the detective should be my age and have some experience of the world. And I called him Charlie Cashew.”

Victoria said, “This is not at all what I expected.”

“What I didn’t know then,” Andrew’s voice said, “is that Nancy steals things. Usually it’s just people. For instance, she bragged one time how she stole Lorelei’s husband. Even now Lorelei doesn’t talk with Nancy except about work. And more recently Nancy stole Brett away from you, Victoria. At least that’s her version. I don’t care about all that, but what I do care about is that she stole my idea — my idea — for the TV series that’s going to make you all rich.”

Nancy could stand it no longer. “It’s all lies,” she said. “He thinks he can say anything just because he’s dead.”

But Brett and Lorelei shushed her, wanting to hear the remainder of the recording.

“When Victoria showed me the complete guest list,” Andrew said, “I had second thoughts about using this dinner to confront Nancy. Because, the truth is, I’ve had problems of one kind or another with each of you.”

Having expected more dirt about Nancy, Brett, Lorelei, and Victoria all looked at one another.

“For instance,” Andrew continued, “I met Lorelei Penfold years ago, when I was in her TV play about dairy farming, Creme de Passion. ”

“I know what’s coming,” Lorelei said, “but—”

“Lorelei became obsessed with me.”

“It’s not true!”

“She followed me everywhere, morning, noon, and night. Eventually I had to get a court order to keep her away. This is the first time in years that we’ve been in the same room.”

“It was a misunderstanding,” Lorelei protested.

“And as for Brett Kingsley,” Andrew said.

“I wrote all about it in my play, Innocent Error, ” Lorelei said.

“When Brett was in high school he got involved with my little cousin, Audrey, and her mother. It ended in an appalling orgy of sex, drugs, and stomach pumps. Brett is always nice as pie to me face-to-face, but now that he’s about to be the star of a prime-time program... Well, I know so many things he would not want splashed around the tabloids.”

“Nice as pie,” Brett said. “He said it himself.”

“And you, Vic,” Andrew said. “Well, let’s talk about your background, shall we? And your little sister, whose identity you stole to pass yourself off as a university graduate. Good thing she’s content to stay away and play with clay, isn’t it?”

Victoria’s jaw dropped. For once nothing came out of her mouth.

Andrew’s tape continued, “If you’re listening to this, then something awful’s happened. I can only hope that those of you who are innocent will get together to discover who is guilty.”

After several seconds of silence, Grimm turned the machine off. “That’s the end.”

Victoria shook her head, breathing heavily. “This is not at all what I intended for tonight. I am so sorry, everybody. This was supposed to be a party. A celebration.”

“Funny thing, though,” Lorelei said.

“What?”

“That Nancy lied about knowing him.”

“No, I didn’t,” Nancy said sharply.

“Yes, you did. When you complained to Victoria because he was interrupting your version of the idea for Frankie Almond. And maybe now we understand all that a bit better.” Lorelei glared at the woman next to her.

“I just said nobody introduced us,” Nancy said. “And it’s not like I was obsessed with him to the point that required a restraining order.”

But the confrontation was truncated when Victoria sighed and nearly tumbled from her chair.