Ник Сайнт - Purrfect Revenge

“That was all ancient history, Detective. Shana had decided to end the affair and come clean to her husband and her sister, which she recently did.”

“And how did you feel about that?” asked Odelia.

Dion walked to the window and gazed out, looking thoughtful. “I wasn’t happy about it, I can tell you that. I liked Shana. She was very sweet and sexy. Her sudden conscience issues placed me in a very awkward position.”

“Did she confide in you before she came clean to her husband and sister?”

“No, she did not. One day we were an item, the next I was confronted by my wife and told she was getting a divorce. You can imagine how I felt.”

“I can imagine you were furious,” said Chase. “A divorce meant the end of your cushy life as a Kenspeckle.”

Dion turned and smiled. Backlit by the sun, he looked like a Greek god. Before becoming a reality star, he'd been a swimmer, winning multiple Olympic medals. "Look, I won't lie to you, Detective. I was extremely upset. On the other hand, the whole affair led Shayonne and me to do a lot of soul-searching. After the first shock had worn off, she agreed with me that our marriage the last couple of months had been a sham. Shayonne had been, shall we say, sexually unavailable to me for a long time, due to some personal issues she was facing." He shrugged. "Hey, I'm a guy. I have a guy's needs. When I couldn't satisfy those needs with my wife, I went looking elsewhere."

Yeah, this guy was a real prince, Odelia thought.

“And your wife was okay with that?” asked Chase gruffly.

“No, she wasn’t okay with it, but she understood. Coming out here was a blessing. We spent the last couple of nights taking long walks along the beach, and talked like we hadn’t talked in a very long time. I like to think that we rediscovered the spark that had been extinguished through disuse.”

“And how did Shana feel about you remaining a part of the family?”

“She was fine with it. Like I said, she was a very sweet person.”

“Wasn’t it uncomfortable for her? To see her former lover all the time?”

“Before we were lovers we were friends. So we went straight back to being friends. I loved Shana a lot. I would never harm her. Or kill her.”

“Not even to save your marriage and your position in this family?”

But Dion wasn’t to be goaded. He merely smiled enigmatically. “Not a chance. I’m a man at peace with myself and my past. I made a mistake. I owned up to it. I’m a man reborn, Detective. This whole affair has made me realize that I love my wife, and that I want to start a family with her.”

Oh, great. Another family man.

“You don’t seem very upset about the death of your mistress,” said Chase.

“Oh, I am very upset. Don’t let my calm demeanor fool you. Inside I’m a total wreck, Detective. I loved Shana to bits, in spite of the fact that she dumped me. She was a wonderful person and I will miss her. We all will.”

Somehow the words didn’t ring true to Odelia. The man was entirely too slick, and the whole thing felt like an act. But then what else was new with the Kenspeckles? This whole dreadful murder felt like an act. It wouldn’t surprise her if Shana suddenly popped out of the closet and announced she wasn’t dead after all. So when suddenly the closet did pop open, she yelped, fully expecting to see Shana’s face. Instead, Max and Dooley came tumbling out, and along with them a black robe, a mask and a very large meat cleaver.

“The killer!” Max announced. “The killer is right behind us!”

Chapter 13

It’s not much fun being locked up, especially if you’re a cat. We don’t like it. It makes us feel trapped, and there’s no telling what we’ll do when we feel trapped. In our case what we did was stare at the door, hoping Brutus was kidding and would come back to save us. When a minute had passed and there was still no sign of the big brute, I figured he hadn’t been kidding. Of course, even if he did come back, there was no way he could open that door. Nature, in all its wisdom, hasn’t outfitted us cats with opposable thumbs. Imagine what we could do if it had. For one thing, we could open this door. And for another, I could make a fist and punch Brutus in the whiskers.

“I think we’re stuck,” Dooley said, showing his firm grip on reality.

“I think you’re right.”

We glanced over our shoulders at the massage area. Dion and Alejandro were still face down, chatting up a storm, kneaded by the capable hands of the massage therapists. It looked like they were going to be here a while.

“Maybe Harriet will come to the rescue?” Dooley asked, expressing a hope beyond hope that our friend would switch allegiances again.

“I doubt it. And even if she did, she can’t open this door by herself.”

“I guess you’re right.”

“Cheer up, buddy. There has to be some way out of here.”

“Or we can just wait,” he said, languidly stretching out on the floor. “Sooner or later that door will open again. It’s inevitable.”

“And let Brutus share our hard-won secret with Odelia and take all the credit? No way.”

This is not something I'm particularly proud of, but I admit I have a competitive spirit. I like to win, especially when competing against a bully like Brutus. Nobody is going to come into my town and my house and try and steal my human's affection in this treacherous way. No way. No how.

“Come on,” I said. “Let’s find the back door to this dump.”

“Oh, what’s the point?” asked Dooley, closing his eyes. “Maybe this is the universe’s way of telling us we should take a nap.”

I gave him a poke. It was my way of telling him to get a move on. “Get up, Dooley. We’re getting out of here and we’re getting out of here now.”

He grumbled a little, but eventually managed to defy gravity and get up. “Do we always have to be the heroes? Can’t we just be cats for a change?”

“No, we can’t. Being a hero is the American way. Now let’s go.”

We wandered deeper into the spa center and passed several sauna cabins, just waiting for some crazy human to allow himself to be boiled alive. How they can stand that kind of torture I will never understand. Bodies aren’t made to suffer those temperatures. The worst part? Humans like being boiled. It makes me think they’re probably a lot less evolved than they claim.

We arrived at an indoor pool. It looked pretty cool. When I stuck my paw into the water I discovered that it was. Definitely too cool for me. Brrr.

“This water is freezing!” Dooley cried.

“Humans like it,” I said. “I’ve seen it on TV. First they broil themselves in those torture cabins over there. Then they jump into this icy water. It’s supposed to be good for their health. Sounds like fake science to me.”

“I can’t imagine how torturing yourself can be healthy.”

“Humans think hamster wheels are healthy, buddy, though they call it treadmills.”

We walked the length of the pool and arrived at the Jacuzzi. The water was gently bubbling, steam rising from the surface. This was yet another thing I didn’t understand. How humans could spend hours soaking in hot water. And then they were surprised when their skin got all wrinkly.

We passed the resting area, which was located in an alcove, a skylight allowing sunlight to slant in and warm up the spa visitors. Loungers were spread out around a small fountain on the floor, and soft music played from the speakers. This was where humans, after all that torture, passed out.

“Hey, this looks like a great place for a nap,” Dooley said, and jumped up onto one of the loungers.

“No way,” I said. “We need to get out of here so we can tell Odelia about our discovery.”