Ник Сайнт - Purrfect Revenge

Next to the resting area was a small bar, where the guests could grab a drink. I trotted behind the counter, hoping to find the back door. What I found was a small storage room. Boxes were stashed up high, and when I looked around, I saw that the room doubled as the electrical room. I dashed inside. The electric switchboard was here, as well as a lot of pipes crossing this space. One set of pipes led up, and disappeared into the ceiling.

“Hey, Dooley,” I called out. “I think I might have found a way out.”

Dooley came trotting up reluctantly. “What?”

“Look,” I said, gesturing at the concrete ceiling.

He looked up and yawned. “Nice pipes. So what?”

“So this is our way out,” I said enthusiastically.

He stared at me, and then back to the pipes. "I think you're delusional, Max. How is this our way out? We can't squeeze into those pipes."

“No, but we can climb them. See how there’s a hole in the concrete up there? I’m sure we can squeeze through.”

“Squeeze through? And then what?”

“Then we’ll be one floor up, and I’m sure there’s a way out up there.”

“And I’m sure we’ll just get stuck up there.”

“Where’s your spirit of adventure?”

“Trying to keep me alive. I’m not suicidal, Max.”

“Neither am I.” I fixed him with a firm look. “Look, Dooley. While we’re dragging our feet, Brutus is sweet-talking Odelia into appointing him her new first feline detective, supplanting us in the process.”

“Planting what?”

“I mean, taking our place in her heart, her home, and her life.”

Dooley thought about this for a moment. “I don’t think I like that, Max.”

“Me neither. So are you going to give this a try or not?”

He stared up again, and sighed. “I suppose so.”

Lucky for us, the pipes weren’t those plastic slippery ones. Even with claws it’s hard to get a grip on that kind of surface. I usually simply dig my claws in deep, but we had no way of knowing what was running through these pipes. If it was gas or water we might be royally screwed. Fortunately the pipes were covered with some kind of Styrofoam and were easy to scale.

I went first, clawing my way up, leaving a trail of styrofoam particles raining down. It was a lot easier than I thought, and soon I reached the ceiling and squeezed myself through a hole in the concrete. Now I was on the first floor. I was right: the pipes extended up, to the second floor and beyond.

“This is some real Indiana Jones shit, buddy!” I cried enthusiastically.

“Or one of those suicide missions,” he lamented. “Like Star Wars Rogue One . The heroes save the universe and as a reward they get to die at the end.”

“Oh, Dooley,” I muttered. I think if Indiana Jones had had a sidekick like Dooley, he might never have gotten his hands on that Ark of the Covenant.

“We’re going to get stuck up here. We’re going to get stuck and we’re going to die. Archeologists are going to find our mummified corpses a thousand years from now, wondering what the hell we were thinking!”

“We were thinking about our obligation toward Odelia. And for your information, we’re not going to get stuck.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I can already see the light at the end of the tunnel.”

“Don’t go into the light, Max!”

“Why not?”

“Because it means you’re dead.”

“I’m not dead. I can see light coming from somewhere ahead of me.”

“That’s what they all say, and then they’re dead.”

“Look, we’ve got nine lives, right? So have a little faith, buddy.”

“That whole nine lives thing is just an old wives’ tale, Max. I hate to break it to you but when we die, that’s it. We’re not coming back for round two.”

“Can you just… shut up already? You’re not helping.”

“I’m the voice of reason.”

“More like the voice of doom.”

We were in some kind of crawl space between the floors. It was pretty dusty and stuffy in here, but I didn’t mind. I did see light, and I decided to follow it, whatever Dooley said. It led to a small rectangular opening covered with a plastic screen. I gave the screen a nudge and it dropped down into the space beyond. I squeezed my way through and found myself in another dark space, a vertical strip of light directly in front of me. This was the light I’d seen. Not that I needed it. My eyesight is pretty good, thank you very much.

Dooley squeezed in right behind me, and bumped into my butt.

“Where are we?” he whispered.

“Why are you whispering?” I whispered back.

“Because I don’t want to wake up the monster.”

“What monster?”

“The monster in the closet.”

Dooley was right. We were in a closet. Above us, shirts and blazers were hanging from clothes hangers, and on the floor, where we were, a suitcase was placed. So that narrow strip of light in front of us was… the closet door!

“We made it, Dooley!” I cried.

“Made it where?”

“Someone’s closet, just like you said!”

“I didn’t say anything about a closet.”

Outside the closet door, I could hear voices, and I immediately recognized one of them. “Do you hear that?”

Dooley frowned. “Hey, that sounds like Odelia.”

“That’s because it is Odelia, and we’re in a closet in someone’s room.”

I glanced around, trying to figure out whose closet this was. And that’s when I saw it. Right behind Dooley. Chills ran up my feline spine.

“D-D-Dooley. Don’t turn around, but the killer is right behind you!”

“What?!” Dooley cried, whirling around. He yelped in fear when he caught sight of the black-robed figure lurking behind him, a huge meat cleaver in his hands!

“It’s the killer!” I cried. “We found the killer!”

“I was right!” Dooley whimpered. “We’re going to die!”

We tumbled out of the closet, trying to get away as fast as we could. The killer jumped out right behind us, and the meat cleaver clattered to the floor.

I saw Odelia and screamed, “The killer! The killer is right behind us!”

I jumped into her arms, and so did Dooley, and that’s when I saw it wasn’t the killer who’d been inside that closet with us, but only his robe.

Odelia looked surprised, and so did Chase, who was also there. The one who was even more surprised, though, was Dion Dread. And as he stared at us, and at the black robe and the meat cleaver, he cried, “That’s not mine!”

Yeah, right. That’s what they all say.

Embarrassed, I jumped down from Odelia’s arms. Indiana Jones would never jump into anyone’s arms. Indiana Jones would face the danger head-on. And now that I’d discovered we’d been spooked by a robe, I was ready to do just that.

“Wait, what is Dion doing here?” asked Dooley. “Isn’t he supposed to be down in the spa getting a massage?”

“I guess his massage ended.”

“See, Max?” asked Dooley. “We should have just waited it out.”

“If we hadn’t climbed that pipe we wouldn’t have found the killer!”

“It isn’t a killer. It’s just an old robe and a cleaver.”

“Duh. That’s the murder weapon, Dooley, and the killer’s bloody robe.”

Dooley yelped, only now understanding we’d caught the killer, and he was here in the room with us. We both stared at Dion, the brutal murderer.

Just then, Brutus came barging through the door, a little winded, and cried, “Odelia! Dion Dread is planning his own reality show!” He caught sight of us, and his eyes went wide. “Oh, shoot.”

Chase took one look at the cleaver and the black robe, still crusted with blood, and his jaw clenched. He stepped up to Dion Dread, flicked a pair of handcuffs from his belt, and announced, “Dion Dread. You’re under arrest for the murder of Shana Kenspeckle.”