Jens Lapidus - Easy Money

She grabbed hold of her thong. Moved it back and forth. Put one leg up on the coffee table again. Leaned forward.

Little JW flexed.

The show went on for five more minutes.

It only got better and better.

Nippe joked when it was over: “I swear that was the loveliest thing I’ve seen since my confirmation.”

Putte settled the bill in the hall. JW wondered what the damage was.

When the stripper and the guard’d left, they each had another drink and put on more music. Kept talking about the experience.

JW wanted to hit the town. “Come on, boys. We’re walking, right?”

“No, let’s fucking cab it!” Putte roared.

It was time to get going.

Putte called a taxi.

JW wondered how he would be able to afford the whole night with the boyz.

The gym: Serb hangout. Anabola-fixated. Bouncer farm. Summa summarum: Radovan-impregnated.

Mrado’d hung out at Fitness Club for four years.

He loved the place even though the machines were shitty. Made by Nordic Gym-an old brand. The walls weren’t too clean. From Mrado’s perspective: didn’t matter. The free weights and the clientele mattered. The overall interior: ordinary gym kitsch. Plastic plants in two white buckets with fake dirt. A TV tuned to Eurosport screwed into the wall above two stationary bikes. Constant Eurotechno from the speakers. A poster of Arnold Schwarzenegger posing from 1992, another of Ove Rytter from the 1994 World Gym Championships. Two posters of Christel Hansson, the chick with a six-pack and silicone tits. Sexy? Not Mrado’s style.

Niche: big guys. But not the biggest training freaks-those guys weren’t made of the right stuff.

Niche: guys who care about their bodies, size, and muscle mass but who also realize that some things trump training. Work can take priority. Honor takes priority. The right stings have priority. Highest priority always-Mr. R.

Radovan was in on 33 percent of the gym. Brilliant business concept. Open 24/7, all year round. Mrado’d even seen guys roaring in front of the mirrors on New Year’s Eve. Putting up big plates while the rest of the country watched fireworks and drank bubbly. Mrado was never there on nights like that. He had his business to run. His own standard times were between nine-thirty and eleven at night. The gym then: perfect.

The place was an asset in other ways. Recruitment base. Information magnet. Training camp. Mrado kept his eye on the meatheads.

The moment right after the workout in the locker room-one of the day’s best for Mrado. Body still warm from the workout, hair wet. The steam from the showers. The smell of shower gel and spray-on deodorant. The ache in his muscles.

Relaxation.

He put on his shirt. Left it unbuttoned. They didn’t make shirt collars wide enough for Mrado. The definition of a bull neck.

His workout for the day: focus on back, front of the thighs, and biceps. Worked a machine for his back. Slow pulling motions for the muscles in the small of his back. Important not to pull with your arms. Then back-ups. Training for the back, lower region. After that, thighs. Seven hundred and seventy pounds on the bar. He lay on his back and pushed upward. The angle between your lower leg and foot isn’t supposed to change, they say. According to Mrado: crap they tell rookies-if you know what you’re doing, you can stretch it out a little more. Maximum results. Concentration. Almost shat himself.

The last part: biceps. Muscle of all muscles. Mrado only used free weights.

Tomorrow: neck, triceps, and back of the thighs. Stomach: every day. It couldn’t get too much.

He kept a log with daily notes from every workout session at the reception desk. Mrado’s goals were clear. To go from 270 to 290 of pure muscle before February. Then change up his strategy. Shred. Burn fat. By summertime: only muscle. Clean, without surface fat. Would look damn good.

He trained at another place, too, the fighting club, Pancrease Gym. Once or twice a week. Guilt got to him. Should go more often. Important to build muscle power. But the power had to be used for something. Mrado’s work tool: fear. He went far on size alone. In the end, he went even further on what he learned at Pancrease: to break bones.

He usually hung around for about twenty minutes in the locker room. Soaked up that special amity that exists between big guys at a gym. They see each other, nod in recognition, exchange a few words about the training schedge for the day. Become friends. Here also: a gathering of Radovan honchos.

Big boy talking points: BMW’s latest 5 series. A shoot-out on the city’s south side over the weekend. New triceps training exercises.

Two dudes were shoveling tuna fish from one-pound containers. A third sipped on a gray protein drink. Bit into a PowerBar. The idea: to scarf as much protein as possible directly post-workout. Rebuild broken muscle cells into even bigger ones. An unknown face among the guys, a newbie.

Mrado was big. The new dude: gigantic.

He defied the regular ritual: Come a few times. Keep to yourself. Check out the scene. Show humility. Show respect. This guy, the giant, sat right smack in the middle. Seemed to think he was one of the guys. At least he’d kept his mouth shut so far.

Mrado put on his socks. Waited. Was always what he put on last. Wanted his feet to be completely dry.

“I’ve got a job this weekend, if anyone’s interested.”

“What is it?” Patrik asked. Swede. Ex-skinhead who’d left his own and been working for Mrado instead for a year now. His Nationalist tattoos were all over the place. Hard to distinguish. A green mess, mostly.

“Nothing too big. Just need a little help. The usual.”

“How the hell’re we supposed to work if we don’t know what it is?”

“Relax, Patrik. Don’t get so worked up you shit yourself. I said it’s the regular.”

“Sure, Mrado. I’m just fucking around. Sorry. But what’s the deal?”

“I need some help collecting. You guys know my routes through town.”

Ratko, a countryman, Mrado’s friend and squire, raised an eyebrow. “Collecting? Something more than the usual? Aren’t they paying up every weekend like they’re supposed to?”

“Yeah, most of ’em. But not all. You know how it is. Might be some new bars who want us, too.”

One of the few Arabs at the gym, Mahmud, was smearing wax in his hair. “Sorry, Mrado, I gotta work out. Do another session every night.”

“You work out too much,” Mrado replied. “You know what Ratko says. There are two things that’ll give you blisters up the ass: being too small in the slammer, so you have to take cock, and always pressing at the gym ’til you shit your pants like a toddler.”

Ratko laughed. “The job, will it take all night?”

“I think it might take a while. Ratko, you in? Patrik? Anyone else? I just need some backup. You know, just to make sure I don’t look like I’m alone.”

No one else offered.

The new giant opened his mouth, “Seeing how fucking tiny you are, you probably need an entire army of extras.”

Silence in the locker room.

Two possible alternatives. The giant thought he was funny, trying to become one of the guys. Or the giant was challenging him. Seeking a confrontation.

Mrado stared straight out into nothing. Poker-faced. The music from up in the gym was clearly audible. Mrado: the man who could paralyze an entire bodybuilding club.

“You’re a big guy. I’ll give you that. But lay low.”

“And why’s that? Is joking not allowed in here, or what?”

“Just lay low.”

Ratko tried to defuse the tension. “Hey, you, take it easy. Sure, you can joke around, but-”

The giant cut him off. “Fuck yourself. I’ll say what I want, when I want.”