Iris Johansen - Chasing the Night

“I’ll go meet her.” Catherine was already gone, halfway down the hill before she finished speaking. Kelly was trudging slowly along the rocky bank, and Catherine reached her in less than a minute. “Where’s Luke? Is he-”

“He’s cool.” Kelly held up her hand to stem the flow. “Actually, he’s probably cold. He decided to go skinny-dipping. Though he didn’t recognize the term for it. I told him to go ahead. I wasn’t about to follow him into that lake.”

“Will he be all right? I don’t even know if he can swim.”

“He can swim. Like a fish.” Kelly hesitated. “I saw his back, Catherine. He has scars. He didn’t even try to hide them. It was as if he assumed everybody had them.”

“Oh, shit.” Catherine could feel the tears sting her eyes. She wished Rakovac was still alive, so that she could kill him again.

“Don’t feel sorry for him,” Kelly said. “I’m not sure if he’d know how to handle it. I don’t think he’d know what it was all about, and it would make him uneasy. He’s a strange kid, Catherine.”

“No wonder you two are getting along,” Catherine said. “You’re not the usual run-of-the-mill kid yourself, Kelly.”

“No, I’m weird.” Kelly smiled. “But I’m coming to terms with it.” She looked out at the lake. “He looks like he’s coming back in. Why don’t you go down and be there when he gets out? You don’t need my help with him any longer. I only wanted to come to meet you to tell you about Luke’s back. I didn’t want you to burst into tears and embarrass both of you.” She glanced back at Catherine. “Don’t do it.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Good, I’m going to the house and see if I can find something hot to drink.” Kelly started up the hill. “I spent the last year in Colombia, and I’m feeling this chill. I’ll see you when you come back.”

“Yes.” She called after her, “Thank you, Kelly.”

“Sure.” Kelly waved but kept on walking and didn’t look back.

Catherine stood staring after her for a moment. So small and delicate and yet full of strength. Who would have known when she’d first seen Kelly huddled in that tent in Munoz’s camp how close they would become in such a short time.

She turned and looked out at the lake. The moonlight was streaking it with silver, and she could see Luke’s head bobbing as he swam back toward the bank. He appeared very small from this distance.

He was not small, but he was only a child.

Her child.

Be my child, Luke. If only for a little while, be my child.

She was sitting on a Knoll overlooking the lake, her arms linked loosely about her knees, when Luke climbed onto the bank.

He gazed at her without speaking, then started to dress.

Don’t look at his back. Kelly was right, she wouldn’t be able to keep control if she did.

His clothes were clinging to his wet body, and she wanted to hold him close to ward off the cold.

She didn’t move. He would not accept that intimacy from her.

And he didn’t seem to feel the cold. Another sign of the toughness that he’d had to develop to survive. That hurt her, too.

“Did the water feel good?”

He nodded.

“Who taught you to swim?”

“Mikhal threw me in the lake when I was little. I was scared, but he kept throwing me in until I learned how to keep from drowning. Later, I found some stuff in one of the books that helped.”

His books, again.

He stood looking at her for a moment, then sat down beside her. “Where’s Kelly?”

“She was chilly. She went to the house. She said since she’d spent so much time in South America that she felt the cold.”

“She told me that her father was killed there.” He was looking out at the lake. “She said that’s where you saved her life. She’s angry with me for not feeling about you the way she does.”

“Kelly is very protective. I’ve tried to talk her out of it, but she thinks she owes me something.”

He frowned. “I’ve never felt like that toward anyone.”

How could he? No one had ever tried to protect Luke from anything. He’d had to protect himself from them. Now he was entering a new world, where everything was different. “Don’t worry about it.”

He ignored her words. “I was thinking that maybe I owe you something, too.”

“Because I’m your mother?”

He shook his head. “Because you killed Rakovac.”

Short, brutal, devoid of sentiment. It was what she had to expect from Luke from now on. It was hard to realize that, when she had held that image of a sunny two-year-old in her heart all these years. “You don’t owe me anything for getting rid of Rakovac. I did it because I couldn’t do anything else, Luke.”

“But it was because of me.” He seemed to be trying to work it out. “Kelly said you risked your life for me.”

“Purely selfish. I couldn’t go on unless I found you and tried to make things right.”

He was silent. “I don’t understand.”

“You will someday.”

“If I went with you to this Hong Kong, would that be paying you back?”

She wanted to tell him yes. It was her chance to grab at the brass ring of opportunity. She couldn’t do it. “No, don’t come for that reason. Only come if it’s what you want, if you think it’s worth giving us a chance together.”

He was gazing at her with those huge black eyes that held so many shades of emotion; ferocity, curiosity, wariness. It was like looking in a mirror of herself as a child.

No joy. The joyous wonder that had been such a part of him had vanished.

Please God, let her find a way of bringing that joy to the surface again.

“When are you leaving?” he asked.

“In a few hours. I’m going to hop a ride on the helicopter Venable arranged to take him back to Moscow. Then I’ll take a plane to Hong Kong. Have you ever ridden on a helicopter?”

“No, I’ve seen them. Mikhal always took me in a truck whenever we left here. He always had weapons and didn’t want to be noticed.”

“I can see why.” She paused. “Eve asked me to let you come to her. If you don’t want to be with me, will you go to her?”

“Maybe.”

She got to her feet. “It would please me very much if you would. I know you don’t care what a stranger thinks, but I just want you to know.” She forced a smile. “Now why don’t we go and find a change of clothes for you. You may not be cold, but I’m shivering just looking at you.”

He nodded absently. “I’ll change.” He didn’t move. “Soon.”

He wasn’t going with her back to the house. Perhaps he’d had enough of her. She didn’t know what he was thinking or how he’d react to anything, she thought in frustration. “Then I’ll say good-bye to you later.” She started up the hill. The long grasses were stirring in the wind. “I’ll see you at the house, Luke.”

He nodded but didn’t answer.

Kelly had left them alone together so that they could come to some kind of understanding. It hadn’t happened. He still found her beyond his comprehension. She was reaching desperately for a way to peel away those layers of mental scar tissue from those terrible years, but it wasn’t going to happen in an hour or even a day.

She could see Eve standing by the front door, and she suddenly remembered what she had said.

He’s alive. We’ve brought him home. What difference does it make that he’s having trouble deciding where that home is?

She had forgotten that in those moments with Luke when she had been trying desperately to reach him.

Her pace quickened, and she waved at Eve.

He was alive. She had to be patient. Time and work, and she’d find a way to bring back the joy.

“We’ve got them!” Joe came striding out of the study into the living room. “No incidents. Though we were only able to pick up half of the suicide bombers. Homeland Security panicked and closed down all airports for three hours.”