Iris Johansen: Bonnie

“Ask me if I’d care.”

“I’d care. Every moment of the first step is precious.”

“You didn’t have many of those moments.”

“It’s not always the same. It was my time. I don’t know why, I only know it was time for me to go on.” She leaned her head back against the boulder and looked out at the valley. “Maybe I had more to learn here than there.”

“You seem to be doing pretty well.”

“At first, it seemed as if I was wandering around in a kind of haze. It was beautiful, but I didn’t know what to do. Then it all came together. But you were hurting and Ted Danner was hurting. I had to wait until it was finished.”

“And is it finished?”

Bonnie’s radiant smile lit her small face. “Yes, can’t you feel it, Mama? No pain, no bitterness. All that’s left is the love.”

“Yes, I can feel it,” she said unsteadily. Freedom. None of the shackles of pain and horror and sadness that had bound her all these years.“Love.”

They sat in silence, watching the twilight turn to darkness.

“I want to take you home, baby,” Eve finally said a long time later. “Is that all right with you?”

“It doesn’t matter. I’ve always told you that, Mama. I’m not there anymore.”

“Ben told Joe that you liked it here in the canyon.”

She chuckled. “And you didn’t want to disturb me? There’s beauty everywhere. You only have to look for it.”

Eve was silent, then asked the question that she’d been avoiding. “If it’s finished… am I going to… lose you, baby?”

“Oh, no, Mama.” She added quietly, “But it means you can let me go now.”

“I most certainly cannot. Don’t even think about it.”

“I won’t. It will just come.”

“I’ll still see you?” she asked quickly.

“Sometimes. But you’ll always know I’m with you.”

“That’s not good enough. I want it all.”

“And that’s what I want for you,” she said gently. “So let me go, Mama. Please.”

Another silence. “It’s going to be hard.”

“But you’re tough enough to do it. You’re tough enough to do anything.”

“Maybe not this.”

“Mama.”

“We’ll see how it goes.”

Bonnie threw back her head and laughed. “I do love you, Mama. There’s no one in the world like you.”

“And there’s no one in my world like you, Bonnie.”

“I’ll argue with you later. It’s just good sitting here with you tonight.” She lifted her head to the night sky. “Do you remember that last night when we sat on the porch and looked up at the stars? They seemed so close. You asked me if I wanted to be an astronaut and go from planet to planet.”

“You didn’t get the chance.”

Bonnie turned to her and smiled. “How do you know?” She didn’t wait for an answer but looked back at the stars. “They’re close tonight, too. I can see Venus. This is nice, isn’t it, Mama?”

“Yes, Bonnie. Very, very nice…”

Nice was not the word. The stars were brilliant and the night seemed to enclose them in velvet darkness. Eve was surrounded by memories of the past and the sweetness of the present.

It was enough.

More than enough.

Tomorrow could take care of itself.

Iris Johansen is the New York Times bestselling author of Eve, Quinn, Chasing the Night, Eight Days to Live, Blood Game, Deadlock, Dark Summer, Pandora’s Daughter, Quicksand, Killer Dreams, On the Run, Countdown, Firestorm, Fatal Tide, Dead Aim, No One to Trust, and more.