Iris Johansen - Bonnie

“It is changing. I don’t believe I was meant to know everything before. It’s as if I’ve been moving back and forth on two levels, and neither of them is clear. One has to be with you here and the other one is somewhere else with…” She shook her head. “It’s gone. Once I leave one level, it’s forgotten, yet something lingers, and I know I’ll be going back. I’ve been wondering if the reason there’s no recollection is that it’s a kind of trade-off for letting me come to you. That I’m not allowed to have everything. But lately I’ve been getting glimpses, memories, and I think maybe the two levels are coming together.”

“That’s confusing as hell.”

Bonnie smiled. “I’m sorry, Mama. It’s confusing for me, too. I just have to trust that it’s how it should be. Everything else seems to have a wonderful order.”

“Well, it doesn’t seem very orderly to me. All I want to know is one thing. Ted Danner. Was it Ted Danner?”

Bonnie didn’t speak for a moment. “I don’t… I’ve been getting glimpses of him. He has something to do with…” She shook her head. “I get a little wisp, but then it goes away.” Her face was grave. “But there’s so much anger and darkness in him. I think that’s part of the reason that he won’t come clear. But he’s part of that other level, and he’s coming closer and closer to you. You have to be careful with him. Watch him.”

“Closer and closer. Oh, yes, he was pretty close to Catherine today. He almost killed her.”

“Watch him,” Bonnie repeated. “The levels are coming together. There’s some reason why I have to know now. Some reason why you and my father have to know.”

“Gallo?”

“He’s my father, Mama. Of course he has to know. And he’s not like Joe. I’m having trouble leading him. He’s too alone. He’s hurting too much. You may have to help me.”

“Me? You have more influence on him than I do, Bonnie. You have more influence on all of us. All we want to know is how to find the man who killed you.”

“I’ll do what I can.” She gazed out over the bayou. “The darkness is getting lighter, and soon I’ll be able to see everything. Maybe I should have seen it already, maybe I’ve been hiding away.”

“Then don’t look,” Eve said quickly. “Not if it’s going to hurt you, baby. Let it go.”

“You never wanted me to hurt. When I scraped my knees or I got a cold, I think you felt it more than I did,” she said gently. “And you blame yourself that you weren’t able to keep me safe. No matter how many times I tell you that you did everything you could to make my life everything that it should be.” Her glance shifted back to Eve. “You gave me such love, Mama. Love doesn’t die. It can change, strengthen, become something more than it was in the beginning, but it can’t die.”

“No, it can’t die.” Eve’s eyes were stinging. “I love you, Bonnie. I’ll always love you.” She swallowed and tried to smile. “But I think someone made a major mistake in taking you away from me before I could spend a lot more years showing you.”

“And I can’t stop you from being bitter, no matter how hard I try. I don’t know why it happened,” Bonnie said soberly. “Maybe we’ll find out soon. I think I know when I’m on that other level. I’m going now, Mama. Look out at the bayou. You don’t want to see me leave.”

“Because it would make me remember those years when I thought I was dreaming or hallucinating when you came to me? I’ve accepted you for what you are now, Bonnie.” She made a face as she looked out at the bayou. “Though Catherine is going through a major case of skepticism where you’re concerned.”

“I know. But you’re handling it well. Maybe someday…”

BONNIE WAS GONE.

Eve didn’t have to look back at the tree where Bonnie had stood to know that her daughter had left her. She could tell by the emptiness, the loneliness, that always came when that small figure disappeared.

She drew a deep breath and turned away. This visit from Bonnie had not been like any other she could remember. Yes, in one way it had been the same. Bonnie had come to her because she had sensed that Eve was disturbed and unhappy and had wanted to comfort her. That was how the first visits had started about a year after she had lost Bonnie. She had been spiraling downward and would probably have died before she had begun to dream of Bonnie. At least, she had told herself they were dreams. She had not been able to accept that Bonnie was a spirit at that time. Eve was a realist, and ghosts were not acceptable in her life.

But Bonnie kept visiting her, healing her, and gradually Eve began to believe. Through all the searching that had taken place in the years that had followed Bonnie’s kidnapping, Eve had been able to cling to those visits. Because every visit had been filled with love, and there had been nothing frightening or strange about them.

Until Bonnie’s appearance when Eve and Joe had been driving up here. It had just been an eerie glimpse, shimmering in the bayou. That had been strange because of the sadness and frightening because in that moment Bonnie had not been the daughter Eve had known.

But surely it was going to be all right. Bonnie had come back to her and been as loving as always. She had known of Eve’s disturbance and wanted to soothe her and give her peace.

Soothe her? Not likely. Not when Bonnie’s murderer was out there. Not when Bonnie herself had said that the years of searching were coming to an end.

Bonnie’s murderer. Bonnie had not really answered her about the possibility of Ted Danner’s being that killer. For a moment, Bonnie had seemed to be on the verge of being able to tell Eve something about Danner. But as usual, Eve had backed away from talking about the details of Bonnie’s actual killing as she had done in the past. She couldn’t bear to bring that terror back to Bonnie. Her daughter had spoken of the darkness surrounding her death more than once and how could Eve ask her to try to pierce that darkness and remember?

But that darkness was coming closer. Bonnie had said that those two levels, two paths, where she existed were coming together. Eve could feel it and so could Bonnie or she would never have said that she might need Eve’s help.

That was strange in itself. Bonnie had never asked Eve for help before. She had been the healer, the one who came and gave and drifted away.

Perhaps to that other level where she could not take Eve?

You may have to help me.

Could that request for help be the real reason why Bonnie had come to her?

“Eve!” It was Catherine, waving at Eve to come to where she was still standing and talking to Venable.

Eve shook her head to clear it. The darkness might be coming, but this was the real world intruding and she had to deal with it. She’d talk to Venable, then get Catherine to go with her to New Orleans and take the first step toward finding Ted Danner.

If he was alive. If he was truly the man who had tried to kill Catherine and murdered Thomas Jacobs. That was still not a certainty.

Is he alive, Bonnie? Is he the one?

But there were no answers from the darkness.

“YOU WERE TALKING TO VENABLEfor a long time.” Eve turned to Catherine, who had just started the car and was driving away from the house. “Were you right? Did he want something from you?”

Catherine nodded. “A job in South America. The director is pressuring him. Venable doesn’t take pressure well. He tends to explode like that BP well that caused all the havoc down here. It surprised me that he even bothered to come. He knows I won’t go back there now that I have Luke home. He was just feeling me out to see if there was any way he could manipulate me.”