Iris Johansen - Eve

“I’ll stay away.” She wished Teresa would be quiet. Her head was pounding, and she was fighting against throwing up. The smell of frying hamburgers was making her stomach churn.

“You should go home. You gonna have to ride the bus?”

“How else?”

“I thought maybe John might be back in town. He’s been gone a couple months, hasn’t he? Have you heard from him?”

“No. I didn’t expect to hear from him.”

“Hot and heavy, then good-bye?” Teresa made a face. “Yeah, that’s the way it goes. But it can be worth it.”

“Maybe.”

“He had a real thing for you. I couldn’t get him to pay any attention to- Where are you going?”

Sick. So sick.

She barely made it to the bathroom before she threw up.

And then threw up again.

Lord, she felt awful.

She sank down to the floor beside the toilet.

She’d get up again soon, but she wasn’t sure her legs would hold her right now.

“Eve?”

Teresa.

“I’m okay. Go back to work.”

“You’re not okay.” She opened the door of the enclosure. “Can I get you a wet towel or something?”

“No, just leave me-” She scrambled over the toilet again and threw up. “I’ll be okay.”

“Yeah, sure.” Teresa was wetting a paper towel at the sink. “Like my roommate, Linda, was okay. You think I don’t know the signs. How far along are you? Almost two months? Three?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about that gorgeous son of a bitch who didn’t protect you.” She laid the towel on Eve’s forehead. “You’re only a kid. He should have-” She broke off as she saw Eve’s expression. “What did you expect? Anyone could see that you were so hot for each other, you were dizzy with it. You should have come to me. I’d have helped you.”

“You think I’m… pregnant?”

“The timing’s right. My roommate started getting morning sickness at about three months.” She frowned. “Aren’t you? Haven’t you missed your periods?”

“I’m not always regular. I thought the pills might have-” She closed her eyes. “I can’t be pregnant.” She could feel the panic rising. She had not permitted herself to even think of the possibility. “I was on the pill.”

Teresa was dabbing at her forehead. “Nothing is foolproof.”

“My mother never got pregnant, and she’s been on them for years.”

“I don’t know. Maybe you’re not pregnant,” Teresa said. “But I’d go to a doctor and find out.” She paused. “And then maybe call John Gallo and see if he’ll help you out. He should pay if he’s going to play.”

“Pay?”

“You’re sixteen. You can’t handle this. I can take you to Linda’s doctor. If you’re not too far along, an abortion is easy. She only had to stay home two days after hers.”

Abortion.

The word struck her like a blow. The shocks were coming at her too fast, too horribly.

She shook her head, hard. “I’m not pregnant. You’re wrong. It’s a mistake.”

“It always is.” Teresa patted her shoulder. “Look, you go on home. I’ll explain to Mr. Kimble.”

Eve looked at her with alarm.

“No, not that you’re pregnant. He might get rid of you. Bosses don’t like to deal with women’s problems.” She helped her to her feet. “You have the flu, remember? Stay here. I’ll go get your purse.”

Stay here? She felt so weak that she didn’t know if she’d even be able to get to the bus stop. Nausea, shock, horror were all attacking her, bringing her down. She hung on to the basin to keep upright.

“It’s okay.” Teresa was back and handing Eve’s purse to her and helping her toward the door. “Get going.”

“I will.” She stopped to look back at Teresa. Even through the haze of shock and panic, she realized that the girl had been kinder than Eve could have expected. “Thank you.”

Teresa shrugged. “We’ve got to stick together. I could be in the same fix myself someday. The only thing you can trust a guy for is to give you a good time. The rest is up to us.” She gave her a gentle push. “Get on home. Crackers used to settle Linda’s stomach.”

Eve wished she’d stop comparing her to her roommate. Maybe she wasn’t in the same condition. Maybe Teresa was wrong.

But she had the panicky feeling that she was right.

SANDRA CAME HOME THREE HOURS after Eve arrived at the apartment.

“Eve?” She frowned as she peered into the dimness. “What are you doing home? And, why are you sitting in the dark, honey?”

“I don’t feel well.” She felt like an animal with a mortal wound huddled in a cave, not able to face the light. “Go to bed, Sandra.”

“Maybe I could get you something? Need an aspirin?”

“No, it’s my stomach. Go to bed.”

“Okay, you be sure and call me if you need anything.” Sandra drifted toward the bedroom. “It must be bad. I can’t remember the last time you missed work.”

“It’s bad.” Terrible. The worst thing that could have happened to her.

Then Sandra was gone, disappearing into her pretty pink bedroom.

Relief. Eve didn’t know if she could have contended with Sandra tonight. She was alternating between the shakes and that terrible nausea. And the realization of what a terrible, irresponsible fool she had been. That’s right, reach out and grab what you want. Forget all your plans for making something of yourself, a few weeks of sex were worth anything, weren’t they? Oh, Lord, how could she have run the risk?

And she was sick again.

She jumped to her feet and ran into the bathroom and retched. She no longer had anything in her stomach, and it made it all the more painful.

“Here, honey.” Sandra was handing her a cloth. “Rinse out your mouth and wash your face. You’ll feel better.” She turned. “I’ll get you a soda. Sometimes it helps.”

It seemed she was being forced to accept help from another unlikely source. First, Teresa. Now, Sandra. “I can get it.”

“I know you can. But let me do it.”

What had gotten into Sandra? The last thing Eve wanted was to have Sandra fussing over her.

She’d get bored soon. Just drink the soda, and she’d go away. Eve washed her mouth and face and went back into the living room.

“Sit down,” Sandra said as she handed her the can of soda. “Drink it slow, honey.”

“You can go to bed now, Sandra.”

“I know I can. I could leave you alone.” Sandra sat down. “But I don’t want to do that.” She folded her hands nervously on her lap. “Maybe I leave you alone too much. But you never seem to need me. Even when you were little, you were so strong, stronger than me.” She paused. “I’m not a good mother to you, Eve. My folks kicked me out when I got pregnant, and having a kid was just too much for me.”

“It’s all right. I never did need you. I could take care of myself.”

“But can you do it now? I remember how I felt when-” She drew a deep breath and her hands clasped even tighter. “You’re going to have a baby, aren’t you?”

Shock. She had not expected Sandra to be observant enough to jump to that conclusion. “Why do you think that?”

“You’re sick. You’re never sick.” She paused. “And last week I noticed one of my birth-control discs was missing. You took it, didn’t you?”

She nodded slowly.

“That was my prescription, Eve. It might not have been strong enough for you. Or maybe it won’t work unless you take it for a couple weeks first. I’ve been on them so long that I don’t remember. If you’d come and asked me, I’d have told you it might not work well for you.”

But she would never have gone to Sandra. Dear God, she had thought by not trusting John, she was protecting herself in the best possible way. Eve closed her eyes, and whispered, “You’ve been taking them all these years. I thought I’d be safe.”