Belinda Bauer - Rubbernecker

Jackie stared at them both, apparently lost.

‘You’re the living,’ he explained to her. ‘I’m consulting you .’

‘What’s this all about murder?’ she said. ‘Your father died because of a car crash, Alex. His car skidded on ice. You know that. You came to the hospital.’

‘But they said he was getting better. Then he just died.’

‘He got pneumonia and that led to heart failure. You’d know that, too, if you’d been there, like I was, twice a day, every day for months. He was so vulnerable .’

‘That’s not what Patrick says.’

‘I don’t give a shit what Patrick says! He wasn’t there. Who the hell is Patrick, anyway? Why is he here?’ Jackie turned to him now; her voice got louder and her throat was going red.

Patrick guessed she was definitely upset about something.

‘Tell her, Patrick.’

‘Yes, tell me, Patrick!’

Patrick said, ‘Can you stop shouting? I can’t think while you’re both shouting.’

‘Oh, for God’s sake!’ snapped Lexi. ‘Patrick found a peanut in Dad’s throat.’

‘ What? ’

‘There was a peanut in his throat. We’re allergic to peanuts.’

‘I know that.’

‘I know you do.’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

Lexi shrugged balefully.

Jackie looked at Patrick. ‘How did he—’

‘He’s a medical student—’

‘Anatomy,’ Patrick corrected her.

‘Whatever. He found a peanut during the… thing.’

‘Dissection.’

‘Yeah, during that. Patrick says that’s what killed him, not pneumonia .’

‘ Could have killed him,’ said Patrick, but she ignored him and stood over Jackie.

‘I didn’t even know he’d left his body to science or whatever the fuck it is they do. Is that even true ?’

Jackie nodded silently.

‘How could you let them just… cut Daddy up?’ Lexi’s voice broke.

‘Why are you shaking?’ Patrick said. She didn’t answer.

Jackie stood up, but didn’t go anywhere. She crossed her arms, then uncrossed them, then crossed them again. She bit her lip and Patrick saw her eyes go shiny.

‘It was his choice, Alex. He made it years before we met. I could only respect it.’

‘Did you give him the peanut too?’

‘Of course not! Don’t be disgusting! Nobody did; he was being fed through a tube.’

‘I don’t know,’ said Lexi. ‘Maybe you got sick of visiting him twice a day, every day .’

‘Yes, I got sick of it! I won’t lie. It was horrific. Someone you love gurgling and crying and wearing a nappy . The smell in that place! I held his hand and stroked his hair and chose his favourite music and he never even knew who I was! I spent two hours a night with him and another two crying in the car park. I cared about Sam every second he was alive, which is more than you can say!’

‘You fucking cow !’ Lexi hurled the deer against the pink wall. It burst into white shards that rained down on the dog, which leaped to its feet and started to bark.

‘Get out!’ said Jackie.

‘ You ’re the one who should be getting out! This is my dad’s house! You ’re the fucking gold-digger keeping everything for yourself!’

Patrick felt they were getting off the point. ‘What about the peanut?’ he said, but nobody seemed to hear him.

‘Is that what this is really about?’ said Jackie. ‘The money? Because you’re wrong. We bought this house with our money.’

‘And what about my money? I would have had it by now if it wasn’t for you!’

‘And you would have drunk it, too!’ yelled Jackie. ‘Sam knew that! We both did!’

‘That’s none of your business!’ Lexi screamed at her.

‘You’re hurting my ears,’ said Patrick, which was true. He covered them with his elbows.

Jackie ignored him. ‘How is it none of my business? You did nothing but make him miserable. Running about God knows where, drinking God knows what, sleeping with God knows who.’

‘It’s my life,’ yelled Lexi.

‘You were fourteen! That made it his life, too.’

‘Bollocks. He never cared.’

‘He always cared.’

‘He cared before you came along. That ’s when everything went to shit.’

‘I’m sorry your mother died, Alex, but don’t you dare blame me for something that happened before we even met! Our door was always open for you. It’s not my fault if you were too blind drunk to find it.’

Patrick stood up. ‘You’re too noisy,’ he said. ‘I’m going.’

Nobody noticed. He left the room and Willow followed him gratefully to the door.

He heard them yelling at each other all the way down the driveway.

When Patrick got home, Jackson and Kim were sitting together on the couch, watching Grand Designs .

‘Where’s Lexi?’ asked Kim.

‘With her stepmother.’ He couldn’t be bothered to go into details.

‘Hey,’ said Jackson, ‘have you been wearing my shoes?’

‘Yes,’ said Patrick. ‘But they’re too small.’

‘Not for me , they’re not!’

Kim said, ‘Did you find out who murdered Lexi’s dad?’

‘Not yet,’ he said, and went upstairs.

He sat at the window with Netter’s Concise Neuroanatomy open in front of him and watched the Valleys Line trains pass through the darkness in short, illuminated worms. He wondered whether Lexi and Jackie were still shouting at each other over the dog’s cowed head. Shouting about love and money, when death was all that really mattered.

Finally, at around midnight, Patrick curled up on his bed. Tomorrow he would have to come up with another way to find out what happened to Number 19.

Consulting the living was a big fat waste of time.

IT HAD BEEN almost a week, but everyone was still talking about Patrick punching the porter.

‘Remember that time he punched me?’ said Scott, with the point of his scalpel in Bill’s cerebellum.

‘He didn’t punch you,’ said Rob.

Dr Spicer said, ‘Watch what you’re doing there, Dilip; you’re going to sever the artery.’

Scott shrugged. ‘All I’m saying is he’s the violent type.’

‘He’s not,’ said Meg. ‘The porter grabbed him first, apparently, so that’s why he couldn’t press charges. It was self-defence.’

‘It wasn’t self-defence that time he punched me.’

Rob sighed. ‘He didn’t punch you, he deflected you. Stop making such a bloody meal out of it.’

Scott sulkily wiggled the scalpel back and forth in the grey matter. ‘He should be in prison, not here with normal people.’

‘Very compassionate,’ said Rob. ‘Remind me never to get the flu around you .’

‘Or a boob job,’ said Spicer.

‘Has anyone seen him?’ asked Meg.

‘Patrick?’ said Dilip. ‘No.’

‘I hope he’s OK,’ said Meg.

‘Whatever,’ said Dilip, then sighed. ‘I’m glad we’re almost finished with the dissection; I have never seen such a boring brain.’

Meg wondered idly what Patrick’s brain would look like. She imagined thousands of convoluted little boxes with locks and labels on them, and smiled to herself.

‘What’s so funny?’ said Rob.

‘Nothing. Just thinking.’

‘How’s the reading going?’

‘OK, I suppose. I think she likes it.’

‘How can you tell?’

‘I can’t really. Sometimes her hand twitches, but…’ She ended the sentence on a shrug.

‘What’s this?’ asked Spicer, so Meg explained about Mrs Deal.