Jerome Jerome - Fanny and the Servant Problem

BENNET. Curious. I was given to understand it was rather a classy affair.

FANNY. I can’t help what other people may have done. Because some silly idiot of a man may possibly – [ She will try a new tack . She leaves the door and comes to him .] Uncle, dear, wouldn’t it be simpler for you all to go away? He’s awfully fond of me. He’ll do anything I ask him. I could merely say that I didn’t like you and get him to pension you off. You and aunt could have a little roadside inn somewhere – with ivy.

BENNET. Seeing that together with the stables and the garden there are twenty-three of us —

FANNY. No, of course, he couldn’t pension you all. You couldn’t expect —

BENNET. I think his lordship might prefer to leave things as they are. Good servants nowadays are not so easily replaced. And neither your aunt nor I are at an age when change appeals to one.

FANNY. You see, it’s almost bound to creep out sooner or later, and then —

BENNET. We will make it as late as possible [ He crosses and rings the bell ], giving you time to prove to his lordship that you are not incapable of learning.

FANNY [ she drops back on the settee . She is half-crying .] Some people would be pleased that their niece had married well.

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