Li Yu - The Carnal Prayer Mat (Rou Putuan)

The remarks at the end of the chapter also clarify the plot, relieving the reader of any difficulties. This author is a master of the art whose equal has never been seen outside of the author of the Shuihu . [25]There are those who say he is a younger brother of the author of the Jin Ping Mei . [26]If so, might this not be a case of the younger outshining the elder?

Poem:

Let us tell how Vesperus, after parting from Lone Peak, spent the entire journey grumbling to himself, "What a colossal bore! Here am I in my twenties, a bud that's just in bloom, and I'm supposed to have my head shaved and start on a course of self-denial and mortification of the flesh! I've never heard of anybody so unreasonable as this priest! My only thought in coming here was that, as a noted intellectual who had joined the Buddhist order, he was bound to hold some unusual views, and I wanted to understand some of his Zen subtleties as an aid in my own writing. What I got instead was one insult after another! The carping was bad enough, but when he gave me that cuckold's gatha, it was simply too much to bear!

"Any manly, self-respecting husband who becomes an official is going to have to govern the people of the empire. Surely he wouldn't be given any job at all if he couldn't even govern his own wife? Anyway, I'm going to take him up on this. If I don't meet any suitable girls, never mind; but if I do, I certainly won't let the opportunity slip. I'll commit a few sins of the flesh while controlling my own women's quarters as strictly as possible, and then we'll see who comes to collect my debts! Far be it from me to boast, but when a woman marries a man as handsome as I am, I doubt that she'll be attracted by any would-be seducer, let alone lose her chastity to him! By rights I ought to have torn that gatha of his into shreds and thrown it right back at him. But I shall need it to prove my point when we meet again, to stop up that wicked mouth of his. When I show it to him, we'll see whether he'll admit he was wrong." Having reached this decision, he crumpled up the poem and stuffed it in his pocket.

Arriving home, he sent servants out in all directions to notify matchmakers that he was conducting a search for the most beautiful girl in the world. Since he came from a distinguished family and was blessed with the looks of a Pan An and the literary gifts of a Cao Zhi, [29]there was no father unwilling to accept him as a son-in-law and no girl unwilling to have him as a husband. Every day following the notification brought several matchmakers to his door with marriages to propose. Humble families allowed him to go to their houses and look their daughters over from head to toe, while great families, if they were concerned about appearances, would arrange a meeting at a temple or in the countryside. Both parties knew the meeting was contrived, but they pretended it was accidental. In any case they got a good look at each other, and many were the girls who went home badly smitten. None of them, however, appealed to Vesperus in the slightest.

"It looks as if no one will meet your standards," remarked one of the matchmakers, "except Master Iron Door's daughter, Jade Scent. The problem with her is that her father is an ultraconservative who will never let anyone view his daughter, while you would insist upon it. So I'm afraid that's hopeless, too."

"Why is he called Master Iron Door?" asked Vesperus. "And how do you know she is beautiful? And if she is so beautiful, why won't he let anyone see her?"

"He's the most celebrated old schoolman in the county, and terribly eccentric. He owns lots of property but holds himself quite aloof-never had a single friend his whole life. He just sits at home immersed in his studies and won't open his door to visitors, no matter who they are. There was one very distinguished visitor who was a great admirer of his and came a long way to see him, but despite knocking at the door for ages, he got no response, let alone a welcome. All he could do was write a poem on the door, part of which ran,

When the old man noticed these lines, he said, 'Iron Door-I find that quite original, and rather apt too.' And then and there he adopted it as his sobriquet and called himself Master Iron Door.

"He has no son, just a daughter who is as fair as jade and as pretty as a flower. Matchmakers like me see thousands of girls, but none of us has ever seen one to surpass her. What's more, she's studied a lot, with her father as tutor, and she can pick up her brush and write you any kind of poem you please. But the door to her chambers is always securely guarded. She never goes to temples to burn incense or out into the street to watch processions. In fact in all her fifteen years she has never once shown her face in public. As for women visitors such as nuns and the like, it goes without saying-they couldn't get inside the house even if they grew wings.

"But on one occasion the old man caught sight of me from his doorway as I was going by and stopped me. 'Are you a matchmaker, by any chance?' he asked me. 'Yes,' I replied. Then he took me inside and pointed to Jade Scent: 'This is my daughter. I want to find a presentable son-in-law who will be a son to me and look after me in my old age. You might give some thought to finding me one.' I mentioned your name, and he made the comment: 'I've heard of his literary reputation, but I wonder what his morals are like?' 'He has a wise head on young shoulders,' I replied, 'and his conduct is irreproachable. The only problem is that he insists on viewing the girl himself before agreeing to marriage. Since your daughter is so beautiful, naturally she'll appeal to him. I wonder if you'd be willing to let him visit? When he heard me say that, his face darkened. 'Preposterous!' he said. 'Only the lean ponies they raise in Yangzhou will let you view them. [30]No respectable girl would ever consent to meet with a man!' Faced with this reaction, I could hardly pursue the matter, so I came away. But that is how I know the marriage is hopeless."

Vesperus pondered: I'm quite alone in the world, without parents or brothers, and when I do marry, I'll have no one to supervise my wife. I can't play the custodian myself all the time, because there are bound to be occasions when I'm away from home. In view of the old man's disposition, I can well imagine what his domestic regime will be like. If I were to marry into his family, I'd have no need to keep watch-his daughter would be well and truly supervised. In fact it wouldn't matter if I was never at home. What a piece of luck! The only thing that worries me is having to do without a viewing. How can I trust anything a matchmaker says?

"The match sounds very suitable indeed," he said. "But I do beg you to find some way for me to get a glimpse of her. So long as you're essentially right about her, I'll be satisfied."

"Absolutely impossible!" said the matchmaker. "If you don't believe what I say, you'd better consult the spirits and take their advice as to what to do. You certainly won't get through that iron door of his."