Robin Alexander - Murky Waters

The second Ellen’s arms were free, Claire launched herself into them and gave into the tears she had been holding back. “Claire, honey, what’s the matter?” Ellen asked as she held her friend tightly in her arms.

Claire took full advantage of Ellen’s warm embrace and cried until Ellen’s curiosity and concern could stand it no longer. She guided Claire to the kitchen table where they sat down. “What has you so upset, and where is Tristan?”

“There’s a lot I need to explain, Ellen. I just don’t know where to start.” Claire wiped her eyes and lit up a cigarette. “Tristan is 189

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staying with Cam and Lucy right now, and I’m here with the cat from Hell.” She laughed mirthlessly. “This may take a while. How about some coffee?”

Claire set two cups of freshly brewed coffee on the table and took her seat as Ellen looked at her with eyes filled with concern. “This can go no farther than this room, Ellen. Cam and Lucy would be very disappointed if this were to get out.”

“Whatever you say will go to the grave with me, I promise, but if you don’t spill it soon, I’m going to go insane,” Ellen said as she lit her own cigarette, preparing herself for what she was sure was not going to be good.

Claire relayed the whole story of the mysterious stalker, and Ellen listened in rapt attention, having to remind herself that it wasn’t a plot line of a movie. “So, do you think it was Mike who broke in here?” Ellen asked, feeling afraid for Claire and Tristan.

Claire looked at the pile of cigarettes in the ashtray and realized she had smoked a lot just to relay half the story. She was beginning to think she’d need a Valium to finish. Nevertheless, she lit another and took a deep breath before going on. “I know for certain that Mike is not the stalker.”

“Then, who? And how are you so certain it’s not Mike?”

“Ellen, it was Tristan all along. I found the pictures and the camera equipment in this house.” Claire paused, giving Ellen a second to absorb what she had just said. Ellen sat speechless in front of her.

Ellen shook her head emphatically. “No, Claire, I’ll never believe that.”

“She admitted it to me herself when I found the stuff,” Claire said as the tears began anew.

Ellen stammered, unsure how to react or what to say. “How ... I mean ... is she in jail?”

“I told the police there was an intruder in the house when we got home. I protected her.” Claire’s hands shook as she picked up her coffee cup. “When she realized that I knew it was her, she explained why she did it. I was so shocked and upset, and when she tried to touch me, I went crazy and shoved her through the French doors. When she was released from the hospital, Cam and Lucy took her home with them, so I could sort things out.”

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Ellen held her hands up, trying to grasp what she assumed Claire was trying to say. “So, you didn’t tell the police, you just let Cam and Lucy take care of it all? And why the hell are you still in this house? I’d have packed up my things and found a new place far away from here by now.”

“I’m not leaving her, Ellen. I love her, and she’s getting help like she promised.”

“Do you realize you sound just like one of those battered wives who ends up hacked to bits because she thought she could change her mate? She’s got some serious problems, Claire!” Ellen said exasperated with Claire’s naïveté.

“She won’t hurt me. I know it. Lucy has been taking her to therapy, and I’m hoping that she will come home soon.”

Ellen got up from the table and began to pace. “Do you honestly think a few therapy sessions are going to make the difference? She needs some serious inpatient care and, hell, maybe even some good drugs! One thing’s for sure, you can’t stay here with that nut case!”

Claire jumped up from her chair and came face-to-face with Ellen. “Don’t you ever refer to her like that, Ellen! She’s had a rough life, and if stalking me was the worst thing she’s ever done as a result, then she’s turned out pretty damn good!”

Shocked by the way Claire vehemently defended Tristan, Ellen tried her best not to upset her further. Lowering her voice, she asked, “Is that the worst thing she’s ever done? You’ve just admitted that she’s had a rough life. Could there be something else that you don’t know about?” Ellen stared into Claire’s eyes, watching her mull over her words.

“When you married your husband, did you know all there was to know about him? How does anyone know what goes on in the mind of another person?” Irritation was apparent in Claire’s voice as she spoke.

Ellen gently placed her hand on Claire’s shoulder. “I care a lot about you, that’s why I’m so upset. I put a lot of faith in Cam and Lucy, and they love her, too, but neither of them knew what she was doing. Am I right?” Ellen asked gently.

“I know you care for me, Ellen, and I’m sorry I blew up, but I know Tristan would never physically hurt me. I love her, and I’m going to stand by her. She needs someone. She needs me.”

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Ellen sighed. “Okay, do you have anything stronger than coffee?

I need something to calm my nerves, and I think you do, too. We can talk this out some more, and I promise not to lose my temper again, kiddo.”

Claire grinned and hugged Ellen. “We have some rum, but we’re out of Coke. Will Pepsi do?”

“Hmm, rum and Pepsi, that might just work,” Ellen said as she headed for the refrigerator.

Claire returned to work after being gone nearly three weeks. She hated that Lauren had been transferred when Suarez lost its account. Ellen worked closely with her on finding a new travel contract and spent most of her evenings with Claire, talking and being there for her adopted little sister.

Everything in Claire’s life had completely changed. Nothing familiar remained for her to cling to but Ellen. Suarez was gone, and she was adapting to a new position. Tristan had still not returned to work, and the office almost seemed foreign without her.

Claire immersed herself in her work, trying to fill the void created by Tristan’s absence. She would often glance over at the empty office next to hers and wish Tristan were still sitting there waiting impatiently to take her to lunch. A part of her wished that she had never found out about what Tristan had done, but there was no undoing what had taken place

. Sometimes, she questioned her sanity, choosing to stay with Tristan after all the pain she had caused her. Other times, she felt she could hardly stand another moment without her. As the days passed with no word from Tristan, Claire became more desperate.

She had not given up on Tristan. Would Tristan give up on her?

“I’m not ready, Lucy!” Tristan exploded as Lucy drove her home from the therapist’s office. “To be honest, I don’t know if I can ever face her again. I don’t deserve her.”

“Then, would you at least talk to her? You owe her that. That poor child has called the house every day, and I think she is 192

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beginning to think you don’t want her anymore,” Lucy said as she gripped the wheel trying to remain calm

. “Would you want to be with Cam if he made your life a living hell?” Tristan asked as she looked out the window.

“You’re making her life a living hell now, Tris. She misses you and feels lost without you. You may think that you are punishing yourself by staying cooped up in that room and barely eating, but it’s not just you suffering. The people who love you are suffering, too.”

Tristan slumped in the seat, her mind a jumble of thoughts. It would be so much easier to just disappear and let everyone go on with his or her life. She cursed herself for lacking the courage to just take off in the middle of the night.