Robin Alexander - Murky Waters

After a few more cigarettes, the women made their way back upstairs to Tristan’s room. When they walked through the door, they could hear Tristan’s sobs before they got fully into the room.

Cam held her gently in his arms, her face buried in his chest.

When he looked up at Lucy and Claire, his eyes were filled with tears, as well.

Due to Tristan’s injuries, Cam and Lucy insisted that she stay with them for a while. Claire returned to Tristan’s house and oversaw the repairs made to the doors and windows. Claire called to check on Tristan each day, but Lucy explained that Tristan was so ashamed of her behavior that she was barely speaking to anyone.

Tristan did honor her word and had Lucy help her find a therapist. The only time she left the sanctuary of Cam and Lucy’s was to go to her appointments. Claire did her best to stay out of the way and let Tristan heal physically and emotionally. She could not help but wonder if things would be normal between them again.

When she could stand it no longer, Claire found herself on the Hughes’ doorstep one afternoon. Lucy greeted her warmly and invited her in. “Is there any chance that Tristan will see me?”

Claire asked, the emotion obvious in her voice.

“Sweetie, she really hasn’t had too much to say to Cam and me.

She won’t eat unless I take her meals into her room, and even then, she merely picks at the food. I’ve been very concerned for her. To be honest, I don’t know if it would be a good idea for you to see her right now.” Lucy patted Claire on the hand, trying to comfort the emotionally distraught woman.

“I miss her so much,” Claire sobbed. “She’s shutting me out, and I can’t take it. I know she is ashamed of her actions, but I have already forgiven her. I made a commitment to her, and I’ll keep 186

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it.” Claire wiped the tears that ran down her cheeks. “She’s become my whole world.”

Lucy wrapped Claire in her arms. “Claire, honey, give her a little time. She’s in a very fragile state right now. I believe, given a little time, Tristan will come to terms with what she has done. Give the therapist a little time to work with her; she may very well need you to attend some of the appointments with her.”

Claire sniffed and wiped her face again. “Oh, Lucy, I miss her so much. You don’t know how hard it is to resist the temptation to run into her room and take her into my arms. You’re right, though.

I suppose I do need to give her some time.”

“Off the subject, how are you and that little orange menace Ralph getting along?”

Claire chuckled halfheartedly. “Well, he still refuses to sleep in the cat bed that Tristan got him. The high side is that he is storing in there all the stuff he steals. I have found two socks and a bra in there, although neither vaguely resembles what it originally was. I know he misses Tris, too; he seems a little confused by her absence.”

Later, Claire returned to their empty-feeling home. She fed Ralph and actually enjoyed playing with him and his mouse on a string.

The only good thing about her separation from Tristan was that she and Ralph had begun to get along a little better.

After dinner, she settled down on the sofa to watch TV. Shortly after, Ralph joined her and curled up into a ball in her lap. He seemed to sense her pain and loneliness. He allowed her to pet him, and before long, he was purring contentedly.

Claire stared off into space as she absently stroked his fur. It was then that she noticed something shiny on the floor near the sunroom. She stood, laying Ralph back on the sofa, and walked over to see what the object was. With trembling hands, she picked up the lobster necklace and remembered the significance of it. She remembered the look on Tristan’s face when she ripped it from her neck. That one action had hurt Tristan more than the physical blow she was dealt.

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Claire knew it when the defeat had registered so clearly in Tristan’s brown eyes. Tears streamed down her face as she clutched it to her chest and rejoined Ralph on the sofa.

Lucy opened the door to Tristan’s room after knocking.

Receiving no response, she couldn’t simply walk away. She was more worried about Tristan than she would admit. Deep in her heart, she knew that Tristan would not harm herself, but she wasn’t taking any chances with her at this point.

As she entered the darkened room, Lucy could make out Tristan’s long form lying across the bed. “I’m fine, Lucy.”

Tristan’s voice startled her. “Can I skip dinner tonight? I’m really not hungry,” Tristan said without turning to face her.

“My love, you’re not passing up any more meals,” Lucy said as she sat on the bed and stroked Tristan’s hair lovingly. “You had a visitor today. Claire came by, but I told her that you weren’t quite up to seeing anyone yet. She misses you very much and wants you to come home soon.”

“Why on earth would she want to see me? I don’t deserve her,”

Tristan said with no emotion in her voice.

“Tristan, you have to quit beating yourself up over this. She has forgiven you and wants you to come home. I know it’s hard for you to believe, but she truly misses you. Her love for you has not dwindled one bit.”

“I’m too ashamed to face her. Lucy, I was there! I saw what I did to her, and I don’t think I can ever forgive myself. I’ve put her through so much this past year. I have lied and deceived her while she has been nothing but good to me. How will she ever be able to trust me again?” Tristan said as tears formed in her eyes.

“Tris, she wants to work this out, and in time, she’ll trust you again if you let her. Baby, the way Mallory raised you, it’s no wonder you could think that Claire could simply walk away.

Claire is committed to you and loves you very much. She’s willing to give you a chance, won’t you give her one?”

Tristan lay silent for a while before she spoke again. “I miss her, too. I just don’t know if I’m ready to face her yet.”

“Well, you are going to face my meatloaf in the kitchen,” Lucy said as she tugged Tristan’s hand. “Tonight, you will come down 188

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and have dinner with me and Cam. I have made your beloved chocolate cheesecake for dessert. Then, we can sit out on the patio and talk until the cows come home.”

Cam was surprised and relieved as Lucy and Tristan walked into the kitchen with tear-stained faces. Cam tried to appear as though everything was normal, but his heart secretly broke for Tristan; he had never seen her look so broken. As they ate dinner, he brought her up to date on all the happenings at the office, watching Tristan’s face intently as he spoke. Uncharacteristically, Tristan did not seem remotely interested.

After dessert, Cam sent his two favorite women out to the patio while he cleaned the kitchen. Occasionally, he would glance outside and watch them as they talked. Tristan’s eyes were downcast the entire time. He wanted so badly to run out there and take her into his arms. At least she was out of her room.

“Well, it’s about time you called me. Since you and Tristan have gotten together, I rarely hear from you anymore,” Ellen playfully teased when Claire called her out of the blue.

“Remember when you adopted me as a little sister?” Claire asked, fighting the urge to cry. “Well, I need my big sister right now.”

It seemed to Claire that she had no sooner hung up the phone than Ellen arrived. She opened the door to her friend, whose arms were heavy laden with baked goods. “I figured some homemade goodies would help Tristan mend quicker. I have no business having this stuff in my house anyway,” Ellen chattered excitedly as she laid the boxes on the kitchen table.