Danielle Steel - Crossings

“No regrets?”

She smiled at him. “Not yet.” And then she explained what she had been thinking.

“It's funny but I thought almost the same thing on the way home last night. Maybe this is all we'll ever have, but maybe it's enough.” Their eyes met and held, and then he asked her about an idea he had had that morning. “Do you suppose you could get away for a few days, Liane?”

“What did you have in mind?”

His voice was very gentle. “I was thinking of a few days in Carmel. What do you think?”

She smiled peacefully at him, amazed at her own reaction. But she was taking something for herself that she wanted very badly and had for a long time. She knew deep in her soul that she would never do it again. But just this once … this once more … “I think it would be lovely. Can you get away?” She forced herself not to think of Armand. That would come later.

“As long as I leave the number where I am. I have a three-day leave coming next weekend. Is there any place special you'd like to go?”

“I haven't been to Carmel in years …” She thought about it for a moment. “What about the Pine Inn?”

“Done. Can you leave on Friday morning?” And then he frowned. “What about the girls? Will they be upset?”

She thought about it for a moment and then shook her head. “I'll tell them it's something for the Red Cross.”

He grinned, feeling like a mischievous boy kidnapping a virgin from her parents. “A likely story. Just watch out when they start telling you stories like that a few years from now.”

She smiled happily at Nick. “I'll kill them.” He laughed then, and they chatted on for a while, and then wandered out to the garden to see the girls. He left later, before dinner, despite their invitation; he had to dine with his commanding officer. And then she walked him to the front door and he looked at her as they said good-bye. They were alone in the cavernous marble hall, and he bent to kiss her gently, uttering the words “Don't forget how much I love you.”

During the weekend and for the rest of the week, he had a hard time getting free, but he called on Thursday night to confirm their plans. Uncle George had purposely not asked for him, and Liane hadn't mentioned him once. “Is everything set for tomorrow?”

“It is here. What about you?” She had told them that she was going to a three-day Red Cross seminar in Carmel, and everyone seemed to believe her.

“Everything's fine.” And then he laughed. “You know, I'm as nervous as a kid.”

And suddenly she giggled. “So am I.”

“Maybe we're crazy to do this. Maybe it was just a shipboard romance after all, and we're nuts to try it again.” It was a very honest thing to say, but they had that kind of ease between them, even now, after all this time and only a few kisses to remind them of the past.

“We could flood the room and pretend that we're sinking.”

“I don't think that's very funny.”

“Sorry. Bad joke.” But they both laughed anyway. They laughed a lot together, something he hadn't done in a long time and neither had she, and it did them both a world of good.

She left the house with a light step the next morning and a smile she could barely conceal. She was grateful that the girls had gone back to school three days before and didn't see her leave the house just before noon, and Uncle George was at the office. She took a cab to Nick's hotel, where he was nervously pacing up and down on the street, smoking a cigarette.

“You look like your wife is having a baby.” She grinned as he paid the cab.

“I suddenly got panicked that you wouldn't show.”

“Would you rather I didn't?” But in answer to her question, he took her in his arms and kissed her full on the mouth. They stood there like that for a long time, and two passing marines hooted and whistled.

“What do you think?” She smiled in answer. She was glad she had come. She had felt the same nervousness as he in the cab, and almost turned back once. What if they got in an accident and George and the girls found out? What if … but she had come and she was glad. He put her bag in the trunk of his borrowed car and they took off for Carmel, singing and laughing like two children.

It was a beautiful drive down the coast and the weather was lovely even though it was cool. They stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch, and they reached Carmel at four o'clock, in time for a walk on the beach before it got dark. They left their bags in their room at the Pine Inn, and walked the two short blocks to the beach, stuffing their shoes in the pockets of their coats, and running through the sand, he barefoot, and she in silk stockings. The air felt wonderful on their faces, and at last, when they stopped far down the beach and sat down, they were breathless and happy and laughing. Everything looked so peaceful here, as though all were right with the world and always would be.

“It's hard to believe there's a war going on, isn't it?” Nick sat staring out to sea, thinking of the battleships defending their country halfway around the world. Carmel was totally untouched by the hubbub of uniforms they had seen in San Francisco. It was a sleepy little town, and it slept on, and Liane hoped it would never awaken. And she had a constant sense of gathering moments to remember later.

“It feels good to get away. My work at the Red Cross is beginning to depress me.” She sighed and looked at him. He was surprised. He thought she liked it.

“How come?”

“I don't feel as though I'm doing enough. Organizing officers’ teas and making lists isn't my style. It's been something to do for the last year. But I'd much rather be doing something useful.” She sighed and he smiled, remembering how hard she had worked to save the men on the Deauville .

“I remember. What do you have in mind?”

“I don't know yet. I've been thinking. Maybe some hospital work.”

He reached for her hand. “Florence Nightingale.” And then he kissed her, and they lay side by side on the beach until it got dark and then they walked slowly back to their hotel. And Liane realized for the first time that they were about to spend a civilized weekend together, like ordinary people. On the ship, they had existed in the stuffy darkness of the first mate's cabin during the nightly blackouts, and suddenly here they were with a pretty little room and a shower, and she felt shy with him as they walked into the room, and they both glanced at the bathroom. It was like being newlyweds and she giggled.

“Do you want to shower first or shall I?”

“After you. You probably take longer than I do anyway.”

She loaded her arms with her toiletries and what she was going to wear, and closed o the door, and half an hour later she emerged fully dressed, with her hair done in a smooth knot, and he whistled. “That's quite a feat in a room that size.” She laughed. She had juggled all her things and her dress had almost fallen in the tub, but one would never have known it to look at her.

“You're next.” And he was right. It took him less time, and when he came out, he was only wearing a towel. He had forgotten to take a fresh uniform in with him.

“There must be an easier way than this.” He grinned, and she laughed.

“It's strange, isn't it? It was much easier on the ship, and God knows why in those conditions.” But they both knew why. It was all familiar then, after the first time, they could have existed in half the space, and now everything was different. He looked at her gently from the bathroom door and he walked slowly toward her.

“It's been an awful long time, Liane … too long …” He stood very still and she reached her arms up around his neck and kissed him.

And very gently he pulled her toward him. There were no words needed for what they felt, as suddenly where they were, or where they had been for the last year and a half, no longer mattered. Their bodies seemed to surge together as her clothes seemed to melt away beneath his hands and his towel fell and he gently picked her up and carried her to the bed, and he devoured her with his lips and his hands, and she lay breathless with pleasure. It was hours before they lay side by side again, drowsy with contentment. He rolled over on one elbow to look down at Liane. She was more beautiful than ever.