Danielle Steel - Crossings

“Well, don't get crazy when they ship you out.” She almost thought he should have stayed home to watch over John himself, and at times he thought so too, but he was glad he'd signed up, especially since he had found her.

“I'm not gone yet.” He smiled as he stood in the hall of his hotel, leaning against the wall. And then he decided to take a step. “I don't suppose I could see you today, Liane?”

There was a moment's pause. “I really ought to be here with the girls and …” Her voice drifted oft”. She didn't know what to say to him. She wanted him to know that for her nothing had changed in the last year and a half. Her feelings were the same. Both for him, and Armand. And her decision to end the affair hadn't altered.

“I understand.” But again she heard the loneliness in his voice and she felt torn. A warning bell went off somewhere in her head, but she didn't heed it this time. What harm could it do? It was Christmas, after all.

“Maybe if you'd like to come by this afternoon …” The girls would be there, and her uncle.

“I'd like that very much.”

“Around four?”

He held the phone tight. “Thanks, Liane. I appreciate it.”

“Don't say that. You're an old friend.”

There was a silence and then at last he spoke. “Is that what I am?”

“Yes.” Her voice was soft, but firm.

“That's good to know.”

He arrived promptly at four, and the girls were happy to see him when he arrived, and George was surprised.

“I didn't know we'd meet again so soon.”

“I think your niece felt sorry for me, a poor sailor in a strange town.” Uncle George guffawed and Nick sat down and played with the girls, and after a while Liane suggested that they go for a walk in the Presidio. George said that he'd stay home and wait for them, he wanted to read his new book. He smiled at Nick. And the others got their coats and went out as the girls pranced ahead, Marie-Ange on suddenly long, coltish legs, and Elisabeth charging along behind.

“They're growing up to be beautiful girls. How old are they now?”

“Elisabeth is nine, and Marie-Ange is eleven. And John is what? Almost eleven now?”

Nick nodded. “Time moves too fast, doesn't it?”

“Sometimes.” But she was thinking of Armand, and Nick realized it at once and turned to her.

“How is he? Still in France?”

She nodded. “Yes.”

“I thought he'd be in North Africa by now.”

And then she looked at Nick and stopped their walk. There was no point pretending to him. She really couldn't bear it anymore. “Armand is with Pétain.” Nick looked at her, but he did not seem stunned.

“You know, I got that feeling when we were on the ship. I don't know why, but I did. How does that affect you, Liane?” He knew it didn't affect her feelings, or she would have said so before.

“It's difficult to explain. But it's been hard on the girls.” She told him about Washington then and the swastikas, and he winced.

“How awful for them … and you….”He searched her eyes and found a new sadness there.

“That's why we came west. It's been easier, thanks to Uncle George.”

“Does he know about Armand?”

“He knew before we came out.” She sighed softly and they walked on, to keep up with the girls. It had been a relief to tell Nick, they had always been able to speak to each other openly before, and there was no reason for that to change now. After all, they were still friends. “He doesn't approve, of course, and he thinks I'm mad.” And then she told him about his matchmaking during her first weeks in town, and they both laughed. “He's a dear old man. I never used to like him much, but he's mellowed a lot.”

Nick laughed. “Haven't we all.”

“He's been awfully good to us.”

“I'm glad. I worried about you a lot. Somehow I always assumed that you were in Washington. When did you leave?”

“Right after Thanksgiving last year.”

He nodded and then he looked at her. “There's more to it, isn't there?”

“To what?” She didn't quite follow his train of thought.

“To Armand being with Pétain.”

She stopped walking again and looked at him with surprised eyes. How did he know? Was it something she said? But she nodded. She trusted him. It was the first time she had admitted that to anyone. To do so would have been to jeopardize Armand, yet she knew that the secret was safe with Nick. “Yes.”

“That must make it even worse for you. Do you get news of him?”

“As often as he can. He runs a great risk if he says too much. I get most of his letters through the underground.”

“They've been damn good in France.” She nodded, and they walked on in silence for a while. It brought her closer to him to be able to be honest about Armand. He was truly her friend, and she looked at him after a time with a grateful smile. “Thank you for letting me tell you that. There are times when I thought I'd go mad. Everyone thinks—or they did in Washington. …”

“He's not that kind of man.” He could never imagine Armand working sincerely for Pétain, even as little as he knew the man, he knew that. He just hoped that the Germans weren't as smart.

She felt as though she owed him a further explanation now. He'd been decent to her, and she'd never told him then. “That was why—I couldn't, Nick. Not with what he's doing there. He doesn't deserve that.”

“I know. I understood.” His eyes were gentle on hers. “It's all right, Liane. You did the right thing. And I know how hard it was.”

“No, you don't.” She shook her head, and he saw that she was wearing the bracelet he'd given her the night before. It pleased him to see it there, the gold glinting in the winter sunlight.

“It was just as hard for me. I must have picked up the phone to call you a hundred times.”

“So did I.” She smiled and looked at her daughters in the distance. “It seems a long time ago, doesn't it?” Her eyes drifted back to his then and he shook his head.

“No. It seems like yesterday.”

And in a way it did to her too. He hadn't changed, and neither had she, although the world around them had. Almost too much so.

And then he played tag with the girls, and she joined them as they laughed and ran, and at last they went back to the house with pink cheeks and sparkling eyes, and George was pleased to see them, filling the old house with life. It truly felt like Christmas to him now, and to the others too. They invited Nick to stay for Christmas dinner with them, and when he left that night, they were all old friends, and Liane saw him to the door. He stood there for a moment and smiled at her.

“Maybe you're right. Maybe it is different now. I like you even better than I did before. We've both grown up a lot.”

She laughed. “Maybe you have, Nick. I think I've just grown old.”

“Tell that to someone else.” He laughed and waved as he went out to the waiting cab. “Good night, and thanks. Merry Christmas!” he called back as the cab drove off, and Liane went back inside with a happy smile. Too happy, she decided, as she looked in the mirror. But she couldn't change the sparkle in her eyes, from the relief she felt when she went to bed. It had been good to unburden herself to him.

ick turned up in Liane's office at the Red Cross a few days after Christmas. He had had some errands to do around town, and he had the afternoon off. He strode into the office and half a dozen women stopped their work to stare. In his uniform, he was more handsome than ever. Liane laughed.