Danielle Steel - Crossings

“Yeah, I think I will.”

“What?”

“Not to get killed.” He looked her in the eye and she looked back at him. It brought home the point that at any moment he would be going to war, and that the casual dinners were only for a little while, and it suddenly made her stop and think, about him, about Armand, about the others around them going to war. The room was filled with uniforms. Overnight San Francisco had become a military town.

“Nick …” For an instant she wasn't sure what to say.

“Never mind, it was a dumb thing to say.”

“No, it wasn't. Just see that you live up to it.”

“I will. I still have to get Johnny back.” It was something to look forward to when he got back. “And in the meantime, would you like to dance?”

“Yes, sir.” They circled the floor to the tune of “The Lady's in Love with You,” and it seemed only moments later when the horns sounded and there was confetti everywhere in the air, and suddenly the lights were dim, people kissed, the music played, and they found themselves standing in the middle of the floor, looking at each other, their arms around each other, and he pressed her close just as she turned her face up to his and their lips met, and as they kissed, the rest of the room disappeared and they were on the Deauville again … lost in each other's arms … until at last they came up for air, and Liane didn't pull away.

“Happy New Year, Nick.”

“Happy New Year, Liane.”

And then they kissed again. They hadn't drunk enough champagne to blame it on that, and they stayed on the floor and danced for a long time, until at last he took her home and they stood outside her uncle's house as Nick looked down at her.

“I owe you an apology, Liane. I didn't play by the rules tonight.” But the truth was for the last two years he would have given his right arm to have what he had just had tonight. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean—” But she put up a hand and touched his mouth with her fingertips.

“Nick, don't … it's all right. …” Something he had said had touched a place in her heart, about making a resolution not to be killed. And suddenly she knew that they had to take the moments while they could. They had learned once before that the moments might not come again. And they had been given this second chance as a gift. She couldn't turn it back now. She no longer wanted to. She only wanted him.

He kissed her fingertips and then her eyes, her lips. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” She pulled away and smiled at him. “We don't have a right to waste that now. We did what we had to before, and we will again … but right now—” He pulled her close to him with a fierceness that took her by surprise.

“I'll love you all my life. Do you know that?” She nodded.

“And when you tell me to go away again, I will. I do understand what has to be.”

“I know you do.” She touched his face as he held her close. “Then we don't have to talk about it again.” She pulled gently away from him then and opened the door with her key. He kissed her good night, and she watched him drive away. There was no stopping the tides now, and neither of them wanted to. They had held them back for almost two years, and they couldn't now … couldn't … and she had no regrets. She walked quietly upstairs and took off her dress and went to bed, and tonight there were no dreams of anyone. There was a strange weightless feeling of peace and light and joy as she slept on dreamlessly until morning.

n New Year's Day Nick stopped by the house to see her, and they sat in the library for a long time, chatting by the fire. No mention was made of what had happened the night before. It was as though they had always been together and she had expected to see him. Even the girls didn't look surprised when they came in from the garden and saw him sitting there.

“Hi, Uncle Nick.” Elisabeth threw her arms around his neck and cast her mother a guilty smile. “Do we still have to call him Mr. Burnham?”

“That's not up to me.” She smiled at them both. It was nice seeing him with the girls. It had been so long since they'd had a man around, aside from Uncle George, and she knew that he did them good.

“Well, Uncle Nick?” Elisabeth turned to him now. “Can we?”

“I don't see why not.” He stroked the silky blond hair so much like her mother's. “Actually I'm flattered.” Marie-Ange followed suit and then they ran out into the garden again to play and Uncle George came downstairs.

“I just finished my book. It was excellent.” He smiled at his benefactor. “I'd be happy to lend it to you, if you have time to read.”

“Thanks very much.” As usual, within moments, the men began discussing the war news. The world was still shocked at the Japanese sinking the British battleships the Prince of Wales and the Repulse , off the coast of Malaya four days after Pearl Harbor. The loss of life on both ships had been shocking, and the Prince of Wales had sunk with her admiral. She had been the battleship that Churchill had been on in Argentia Bay, when he met Roosevelt to sign the Atlantic Charter. “I don't suppose you know what ship you'll be assigned to yet?”

“No, sir, but I should know soon.” George nodded and looked at Liane then.

“You looked very pretty last night, my dear. I hope you two had a good time.”

“Very pleasant.” And then they mentioned how many military men they'd seen at the hotel. In three and a half weeks since Pearl Harbor had been hit, it seemed as though the entire country had signed up, and all the young men they knew were being drafted. “Actually, you know, I'm surprised they sent me here. From the gossip, the United States is a lot more interested in wiping out the Germans before they level the Japanese.” In the days immediately after Pearl Harbor, the Germans had launched an enormous submarine offensive in the Atlantic, and ships were being sunk within frightening close range of the eastern seaboard. The main ports of New York, Boston, and Norfolk were now being protected with mines and nets and coastal convoys, and everyone wondered just how close the Germans would dare to come. There were blackouts every night in both the east and west coastal areas.

“It looks like we're getting it from both sides.” George stared into the fire with worried eyes. His homeland had never been threatened directly before and it was a shock to him. He looked at Nick and shook his head. “I just wish I were young enough to join you.”

“I don't.” Liane looked at her uncle. “Someone has to stay here with us, or hadn't you thought of that?” He smiled and patted her hand.

“That, my dear, is my only consolation.” He left them then and went back upstairs to read the afternoon paper in the study next to his room, and Nick and Liane were left alone. He looked at her for a long moment and took her hand in his.

“I had a wonderful time last night, Liane.”

“So did I.” Her eyes met his without wavering. Even in the clear light of day, she had no regrets over kissing him the night before. He had drifted back into her life like a ship on an unknown course, and perhaps for a time they could sail on together. Not for long though, she knew; eventually he would ship out. Perhaps that was their destiny, she had thought to herself that morning, to meet now and then in the course of their lifetimes, and to give each other the strength they needed to go on. He had done that for her now as he had once before. She felt calmer this morning than she had in more than a year, and there seemed to be an aura of peace all about them.