Unknown - Deportation

— I'm sorry — murmured Jeanne — it was an accident. Can I somehow...

— Yes, you can. A dinner with a bottle of red. I was going to try the local Vineland. The advertisement declares their wine is made according to the ancient Vikings recipes. Exotics. Agreed? Good. L et's move on then .

Inaori giggled and turned to Lal Singh.

— How’s that, Dr. Freud?

— Now is a different story. Who knew that she would poke a saw in him.

— Or maybe she did it on purpose — Joy suggested — we, the women, can be insidious.

— Oh! — Inaori shouted — look, the dude really looks like a penguin!

— ... Johnsen — said the penguin-like guy — I... uh... from ocean carriers association. We are concerned about the safety of navigation, in spite of… the... uh...

— Piracy — helped Torres.

— Yeah . R ight. That.

— This is a problem — agreed coordinator — Piracy exists in these waters for more than 300 years , and w e have not eliminated it entirely yet . But our government suggests all ship owners to install a satellite tracker. Figuratively speaking, same collar I have, but for the ship. In the event of an attack, we guarantee the arrival of maritime attack aircraft within a quarter of an hour. Any pirate ship will be destroyed, along with the crew, unconditionally and immediately. Pirates know it , and they never come closer than 10 miles to any vessel emitting at the frequencies of our system.

— We know that, sir.

— Is that so? — Torres was surprised — What's stopping you then from engaging in a contract with our armed forces? The price is three times less than the average shipping insurance premium. What is the problem?

— Our government prohibits relationships with... — Johnsen hesitated — ...with organizations like your armed forces. I would lose my marine license.

— Ah, that's it. In my opinion, this prohibition smells of directly aiding piracy.

— I do not know, sir Torres. We just ship goods . Politics are not our business. I would like to ask, perhaps, to if there is a diplomatic solution...

— There is no call for diplomacy here. You simply hire a team consisting of sailors in a Meganesian union and fail to notice they carried a tracking unit onboard . That’s it. The rest is none of your worries.

— Really? — Johnsen was surprised — W hy we did not know this ?

— This question is certainly not for me. I recommend you establish regular contacts with our Maritime government agency. I nformally, perhaps, if your officials don’t endorse it . Unlike some governments, we do business, rather than put a spoke in the wheels of business for political reasons.

— I'm sorry — remarked the host nervously — we are running out of time.

— Our government is established to ensure humans’ realization of their natural and inalienable rights, — continued Torres — these rights are: equality, liberty, security, property. That's what the revolutionary French Constitution did in 1793, and what the Magna Carta of Meganesia does today . We adhere to these guidelines and do not depart from them ever, under no circumstances, and under no pressure.

— Yes, of course — said the host even more nervously — thank you, Mr. Torres, for agreeing to do this meeting in the ABC-online studio, and I hope that...

The trio broke into wild laughter.

— Shat in his pants — stated Ernst.

— Exactly — supported Lal Singh.

12. Humanitarian self-defense and good publicity

After coming home at six o'clock in the morning, Malik slept in until noon. Helena, of course, has long since left for work, leaving a note on the refrigerator.

"You are reading this so you have already opened your eyes. I hope you’ll have the energy to crawl to the beach at the rock python by 5pm, there will be a party and so on. Love, kisses".

Instead of a signature there was a bright-purple lip imprint. Helena insisted on never using a lipstick of a regular human color. Style...

Malik smiled, scratched his head and habitually poked two buttons, turning on the coffee machine and a computer, the major instruments of a professional journalist. A minute later a robot spew out the list of the trending articles.

The top ten included "an interview with the governor in a collar”, Green world press. Malik whistled. Jeanne Rohner flawlessly capitalized on the nail clip mishandling . The episode with the sawing was presented in a photo. The subtitle said: "Our business is to serve the collective needs of our citizens for a bargain price (Hernando Torres, coordinator of the government of Confederation Meganesia)”.

The article began with an incident in the studio: "Torres demonstratively refused to see a doctor, and continued the conference as if nothing happened. I thought originally he is playing a simple guy. Later, when we were sitting in a small cafe and drinking wine like a couple of clerks after work, he told me how he got into government and I realized: he wasn’t playing.

Illustration: A photo of Torres in a cafe — apparently taken with a mobile phone.

"Torres is an entrepreneur in the field of tourism”, wrote Jeanne. “He enthusiastically talked about the small hotel chain which he owns together with a companion. According to him, this job gave him the experience that allowed him to win the social competition, that is, the process by which the government is appointed in Meganesia. When I asked why he wanted to this, Torres said that it gives a good practice in business and also is a good advertising. This, according to him, is a commonplace motive for participation in tenders for the execution of government functions.

Illustration : T he org chart of the Meganesian government.

"I asked Torres the same four questions I ask all politicians. Your biggest failure? Biggest achievement? Funniest accident? What are your dreams?

Here are his answers:

Failure: I’ve failed to convince Meganesian consortia to dramatically increase investment in fundamental science s . The increase they approved is insufficient . We need our fundamental science to be the most dynamic in the world in order to maintain our strong growth in nuclear power engineering, computer science , and robotics.

Achievements: I will name two. First is the global police surveillance system. Now, all the key settled territories and highways are monitored by terrestrial and satellite webcam s . Video streams are analyzed by computers 24/7 . In case of any suspicious event, t he police receives the alarm in a few seconds. I already mentioned the marine security system, it was created by the previous government. My second achievement is the creation of VECOM, our public system of higher education and distance training. This made ​​it possible to double the number of students, primarily due to the fact that young women do not drop out of the educational process after giving birth.

Illustration: The screenshot of social advertising: a pretty woman with a baby at the laptop monitor. The baby stretches her fingers to the keyboard. The monitor shows the words: “Virtual Education Center Of Meganesia. Join now!”. The subscript reads : "Hey kid, do you want to have a bachelor degree before you learn to walk?”

The funnies incident: international nudist motor rally. The police stopped them for driving without helmets. To solve the problem, I asked the security department to lend them helmets from stock. What I did not realize that the helmets wore insignia of the service. Imagine that?

Illustration: screenshot of a CNN report: twenty nude bikers in colored helmets with the logo of Road Police. Subscript: «Nude police patrols in Meganesia»

What do I dream of? Upturn the travel business, damn me ! How? It's very simple! When it’s winter in Montreal, people want to go to a warm sea. Where to head ? Florida. And if you were in Europe? Egypt then . The trick in the price of the flight. A bit over 3,000 kilometers away from home — and the flight becomes more expensive than the hotel, besides , a few hours in an airplane seat is by itself no fun at all. Two years from now you will fly to Meganesia. For this, you will need to reach the seashore, and take a boat 12 miles from the shore. There, you take off from the sea, and within an hour you are on a Meganesian island. The t icket is 200 pounds round trip. The hotel is no frills, but the price is just £30 per day and it is first row to the ocean, we don’t have other options, really . Oh yes, I forgot: during the trip, you will practically travel to the outer space , cruising at 20 Mach at an altitude of 60 kilometers. It's real!