Unknown - The_Growing_589064

The Colonel offers her hand to shake, and Koda takes it. “You a vet?”

“Yeah.”

“I saw your license plate.” Koda follows her gaze back to her truck, where the registration numbers are split by a caduceus overlaying a V. “Figured you were human, but we’re not taking any chances.”

“You from the base?”

The Colonel grimaces. “What’s left of it.” Then, “What are you doing out on the road? You have people in the city?”

Koda shakes her head. “Scouting.”

“With a hawk? That’s a red-tail, isn’t it?”

“Not it. She.”

Another of the soldiers has gotten himself sufficiently together to approach. Koda stares at him. He is the first living man she has seen in three days who is not her kin. Her right hand drops to her waist, near the Uzi. He follows her gaze, then opens the throat of his coat.. “I’m real, too. August Schimmel. That’s a hell of a pet you’ve got there.”

Wiyo mantles again, and Koda smiles. It is not a particularly reassuring smile. “Not a pet. A friend.”

Colonel Allen bends down and retrieves Koda’s hat, hands it to her. “Come on over to one of the carriers where it’s warm. We need to talk.”

Koda nods. As she follows the other woman toward the dark olive trucks, Wiyo leaves her shoulder with a hiss and rises to settle in a bare sycamore by the bridge. The small flicker of hope that had gone out when she found the Hurleys massacred rekindles itself in a far corner of Koda’s mind. There are other people alive, and fighting. She is not alone.

CHAPTER THREE

“I read the news today, oh boy…”

1

ADVISORS AXE ANDROIDS, Heckle Hoaxer

New York (New York Post) The Chairman of the newly developed President’s Committee on Robotics, Howard Mexenbaum, issued a press release today stating that Peter Westerhaus’ revolutionary invention is no more revolutionary “than a child’s Halloween costume.” Mr. Mexenbaum is quoted as saying that “it’s obvious to anyone with two eyes in their head that this android business is a hoax of the highest order. George Lucas showed more ingenuity in stuffing that little man into his R2D2 costume than Westerhaus has yet shown the American people.”

When asked, in a private interview, whether Mr. Mexenbaum had actually seen the android in question, he stated that he had not, but that he had heard reports and that those reports were “virtually unanimous” in their disparagement of Westerhaus’ “invention”.

The press release went on to say that the Committee was drafting a letter to the President asking that the FBI and possibly the CIA open up preliminary investigations on this “modern day P.T. Barnum.”

::flip::

President is “Utterly Convinced”

Washington DC (AP) In a Press Conference in the Rose Garden today, President Hillary Clinton stated that she is “utterly convinced” that Peter Westerhaus’ android inventions are, in fact, “the genuine article.”

In a private meeting with the President earlier today, Westerhaus unveiled two prototypes of his androids, affectionately named C4PO and R2D3 in a sarcastic reply to Howard Mexenbaum’s earlier accusations of huckstering. The President reportedly stood by in awe as the androids walked up to her, shook her hand, greeted her by name, and returned to the side of their inventor. One of the androids apparently asked Ms. President if she would like him to fix the squeaky hinge in the door leading to the Oval Office. It is unknown how she replied.

When asked if she would be the first in line to purchase one of the androids when they became commercially available, the President smiled and said “no, that’s why I have Bill.”

::flip::

Westerhaus Announces Household Robot

New York (AP) Westerhaus Inc. announced today the unveiling of its new home robot, the revolutionary Maid Marian. “We are pleased to offer American householders the greatest time- and labor-saving device since the introduction of the automatic washing machine,” company spokesperson Melinda Deliganis said, “The Maid Marian is a highly programmable model that can take over such tedious jobs as cleaning, cooking and even a limited amount of routine errand-running, such as picking up parcels. She can walk at a maximum speed of 4 miles per hour, and her feet will never get tired!”

Deliganis characterized Microsoft’s crash program to develop a competing product as “irrelevant.” “We have the patents and the proprietary technology. While it is true that the first Maid Marians will be priced in the high-ticket range, we expect demand to be high enough to support a mass-market version within eighteen months.”

::flip::

Bishop Says There Are No Religious Implications

Washington (MSNBC) In an interview with MSNBC’s Chris Matthews yesterday, the Right Reverend William S. MacDermott, Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church in the United States stated flatly that the introduction of android robots “does not pose any theological questions. Does your car pose a theological question?” the Bishop asked rhetorically. “Does your alarm clock? A robot is a machine, property that can be bought and sold. Nuts and bolts and printed circuits. Nothing more.”

Asked to respond to Televangelist Pat Robertson’s claim that the robots are “the work of the devil,” the Bishop referred Matthews to his previous response. “I’ll be surprised if the Rev. Robertson doesn’t have one mowing his lawn by the Fourth of July,” he quipped.

::flip::

Royals to Replace Staff with Bots?

London (Reuters) A spokesperson for Queen Camilla today declined to confirm or deny that Palace maids and other maintenance personnel will be replaced with androids. “Her Majesty welcomes technological change, and as you know has sponsored several scholarships for promising computer-technical students. This has nothing to do with the current nationwide shortage of domestic employees.’

In a related story (A 14) the Palace had “no comment” to Tonight Show host Jay Leno’s remark that His Majesty King Charles is an early, unmarketable Westerhaus test model.

::flip::

Phelps Campaign Interrupts Commendation Ceremony

Minneapolis (CNN) Jedadiah Phelps, the grandson of Fred Phelps, the late Minister of the Westboro Baptist Church, gathered his faithful flock in protest of a commendation ceremony held in Minneapolis today.

Holding handmade signs and shouting “God Hates Droids!”, the group of twenty managed to disrupt the proceedings at least twice before police clad in riot gear ushered them from the premises.

The ceremony, presided over by Mayor Tim “The Rule Man” Taylor, was to commemorate and commend the heroic actions of Android 77-EDY-823 (Eddie) during the recent bout of arson-related fires in the city. Firedroid Eddie, it will be remembered, managed a rescue total of twenty three humans, five dogs, seventeen cats, two birds and one chinchilla during the three day siege.

The mayor….

::flip::

Defense Secretary Announces Android Soldiers

Washington (AP) Secretary of Defense Humberto X. Palacios today announced that initial tests of android infantry soldiers have been “a stunning success. These new models, co-developed by Westerhaus and Boeing Defense Industries, have exceeded all expectations in target recognition, accuracy, versatility in weapons usage and deployment capability. The day is coming when no young American soldier will ever again have to face enemy fire head-on.” Palacios indicated that if these new models perform well in further tests which more closely match actual battlefield conditions, initial deployment could take place as soon as next year.

When asked if these new military androids could pose a danger to the American people, Palacios replied, “These androids will be deployed under very strict, very controlled military situations and will never come into contact with American civilians.”