Ramez Naam - Crux

Feng was breathing heavily now, his chest heaving as he remembered. His face was flushed with it.

“And I try to get up, and it hurts so bad and I fall down. And I try to get up again and I pull up on the pole and get to where I can stand. I try to go up the ladder. But I slip. Arm not working. And I fall down again.

“And now I know I can’t say I can’t. So I say, ‘Help me!’”

Feng shook his head, and leaned out the jeep to spit. He pulled back upright, wiped the spittle from his mouth with the back of his hand. The wind rustled the date palms softly overhead. A bird called out somewhere near them.

After a moment, Feng went on, softly, more slowly.

“So I say, ‘Help me!’ and instructor says, ‘This what happens to boys who ask for help.’ And he kicks me, again and again. And I ask him to stop and I try to curl up and he just keeps on kicking me. ‘You see that?’ he asks my brothers. ‘You see what happen if you’re weak?’”

Kade bowed his head at the horror of it. A four year-old boy.

Feng’s body was vibrating now, his hands clenched around the wheel. He had to hold himself back from breaking it in two.

“They take me away to hospital. Two months. I’m a lesson for all my brothers.” Feng snorted. “Some lesson.”

“I’m sorry, Feng,” Kade said. “I… I’m sorry to make you relive that pain.”

Feng snorted again. “Yeah. Pain. You know why I tell you that?”

Kade shook his head, his mind still reeling from what Feng had shared.

“Because I want you to understand. You think Nexus making so many bad things happen. Your fault, yeah? But this all happens to me before Nexus. Nexus not bad. Just some people bad. You understand?”

Kade said nothing for a few seconds. Then slowly, he nodded. They sat in silence for a while.

“When did you first meet Su-Yong Shu?” Kade asked him.

Feng nodded. “All my childhood, lots of pain. Physical pain. They rig us with implants when I’m six.” His hand went to the back of his head. “Direct nerve stimulus, yeah? Pure pain. Pure.”

Feng shook his head, put his hand in his lap again. “They use pain to punish us, discipline us. Use pain when we’re too slow, too weak, when we miss targets shooting, when we lose fights sparring, when we don’t clean our guns fast enough, hold our breath long enough, make our beds neat enough.

“All they teach us is how to fight, how to kill. Weapons. Tactics. Strategy. Planes. Helicopters. Cars. Kung fu. Knives. Guns. All that stuff. For fun, we get war movies, fight movies.” Feng laughed. “Those we like.

“They make us fight each other, fist and feet and knives. And other kind of fights. Compete with our brothers. Whoever slowest, or weakest, or stupidest, more pain. And shame in front of other brothers. No dinner. No bed sometimes – sleep standing up.

“But doesn’t work so good after a while. We stop caring about pain. They built us too well. We get wild. Start to talk back. Show off to other brothers.”

Feng shook his head again. “They punish us more. One boy dies. I probably gonna die, if I keep on the way I am. Instead, I meet her .” Su-Yong Shu.

“She came first time when I’m fifteen. Full grown. Stronger than any instructor. But wild. Not a very good soldier. Whole program, down the drain. Soldiers no good. They want her help, yeah? To control us. Make us better slaves.

“First time I ever see her… I’m being punished. Insubordination. So, pain stim. Which means I feel pain everywhere . All over, inside, fire pain, sharp pain, beating pain, all pain, all at once. And I’m curled up trying to fight it, trying show my brothers I’m tough, when she walks in.”

Kade saw it through Feng’s eyes. The barracks. The institutional gray walls and cold concrete floor. The metal frame bunk beds with the rolled-up olive green blankets. The drab brown footlocker that held every possession Feng had. The sergeant instructor pressing the button on the remote that sent Feng’s nervous system into a primeval hell. The door opening. Shu, standing there, in white. A formidable man in a dark uniform next to her. His face an ugly scowl, his shoulders bearing insignia. An officer. A colonel.

“Not just a colonel. The colonel . Man in charge of whole program. And she says to him ‘Stop! Stop this!’ And he says ‘No. They’re not human. We teach them to behave through pain.’”

Feng smiled grimly.

“Then she slaps him. Hard. And she says, ‘This man is more human than you are.’ And she walks up to the sergeant instructor and yanks remote from his hand and turns it off.”

Feng shook his head in admiration.

Kade seemed surprised. “She could do that?”

Feng nodded. “This was maybe two years after she… you know. After she goes digital. After ascension . She’s first true posthuman. And she’s Chinese and making all kinds of discoveries the big bosses like. She thinks she can do anything.”

Feng shrugged, “Me, I just collapse, not sure what to do. Then she asks me, ‘What’s your name?’ and I say ‘Confucian Fist D-42, sir!’”

“’No,’ she says. ‘Your name .’” Feng laughed, then stopped talking for a while, let Kade soak up the shock he felt in that moment. A name . The idea of it!

“My whole life, they taught me that I’m not human. I’m a clone . A treaty violation . I’m a number. I do what I’m told. Su-Yong, she treats me like a human being.

“She changes everything. Next day, colonel is out. Pain stim remotes gone. Training changes. We start to learn more science, politics, history. We get Nexus – what you call Nexus – in our brains.

“You see these people hurt by Nexus. Human bombs. People stealing. Women hurt. But for me… For me, Nexus means I touch my brothers for the first time. I understand that I’m not alone. Until then… ‘brother’ just mean someone I have to fight, have to compete with. One of us won’t get to eat. One of us gets more pain. No love. No loyalty . After Nexus, I can touch their minds… Then I feel them. Then I love them. Then I know loyalty. Then I really have brothers.

“And you know, I still hate instructors. Still today, and especially then. But Su-Yong, she say, we don’t have to be loyal to instructors, don’t have to be loyal to commanders. Have to be loyal to China . To the people . They’re our brothers and sisters.

“What you did, Kade. You give Nexus 5 to everyone. I know it makes Su-Yong mad. She wants more control than that. But you did the right thing.” Feng turned to look at Kade, poured every ounce of emotion into this. “All those people out there. They can start to understand. They each other’s brothers, each other’s sisters. Like you and me. Brothers. You did the right thing.”

Darkness finally fell. Insects came out. The jungle came alive with sounds. The air cooled to a more bearable level of heat.

“So what now?” Feng asked.

Kade turned and looked at his friend. “The monasteries aren’t going to work anymore. The bounty hunters have figured out our pattern. We’re just going to get monks killed. It’s time to try a new strategy, Feng. Let’s head to the coast. Let’s go see the big city.”

17

SURPRISE ENCOUNTER

Friday October 19th

“I’m not here to kill you, Martin.”

What? Holtzmann thought. The distortion was gone. This was a different voice. A voice he knew.

“I was hoping you could answer some questions for me,” his not-assassin continued.

Holtzmann opened his eyes. In the mirror he could see a face there, in the darkened back seat, where there hadn’t been one before. Headlights struck them from another car, illuminated the face for a moment. Dark hair, graying at the temples. Asian features. A face he hadn’t seen in months.