Джоан Робинсон - When Marnie Was There

“Don’t let’s talk,” she said. “I’ll tell you why after, but first you must have a rowing lesson.”

Anna took the oars, and the girl sat opposite her in the stern, leaning forward and guiding her hands. Every now and then she looked up into Anna’s face, laughing silently, and took her own hands away; then Anna found she was not rowing so well, after all. But soon she was managing the oars almost alone.

She stared straight ahead of her as she rowed, her eyes wide and unblinking, straining through the darkness to take in every detail of her new friend. She saw that her straight fair hair was plaited tonight, and hung over her shoulders in two long braids which swung to and fro every time she bent forward. Under her cardigan she was again wearing a long white dress which reached almost to her feet. It would have looked strange on anyone else, but Anna accepted it almost without question. It seemed right that this girl should look like the character out of some fairy story.

At the top of the creek, where the boat could go no farther, they shipped the oars silently, and sat almost enclosed by rushes and tangled water weed, listening to the small, night sounds – a frog croaking on the bank, water dripping from the reeds, and the plop of small fish as they rose to the surface then sank again. They sat so still that each of them might have been alone. Then the girl leaned forward, and said in a half whisper, “Now I’ll tell you why I said we wouldn’t talk.”

Chapter Eleven

T

HREE

Q

UESTIONS

E

ACH

ANNA MOVED NEARER and the girl said, still in a half whisper, “You remember I said last night that you were my secret?”

Anna nodded. “I knew just what you meant. You’re mine.”

“Well, that’s it! Don’t let’s spoil it by gabbling at each other, and asking a whole lot of questions, and arguing, and perhaps end up quarrelling. Let’s go on like we are.”

“Yes – oh, yes!” said Anna, then hesitated. “But I don’t even know your name yet.”

“Marnie.” The girl seemed surprised. “I thought you knew.” Anna shook her head. “Listen,” she went on, “there are all sorts of things I want to know about you; why you’re here, and where you live, and what you do all day – things like that – and yet, in a way, I don’t want to know them at all—” she broke off and laughed quickly. “No, that’s wrong! I do want to know. But I want to find them out slowly, by myself, as we go along. Do you know what I mean?”

Yes, Anna did know. This was just how she felt.

“I’ll tell you what we’ll do!” said Marnie. “We’ll make a pact to ask each other only one question a night, shall we? Like wishes in a fairy story.”

“They’re usually three,” said Anna doubtfully.

“All right, we’ll make it three. I’ll start. Question number one – why are you here at Little Overton?”

This was fun. Anna drew a deep breath and told her about coming to stay with the Peggs instead of going back to school, because Dr Brown had said it would be good for her and she was underweight. And then, because Marnie looked so interested, she told her about not-even-trying, and Mrs Preston being worried about her future. “But it’s not just that,” she said. “They don’t know that I know, but it’s because they want to get rid of me for a bit. I’m a sort of worry to them.”

“Oh, poor you! But are you sure? Sometimes it feels like that, I know, but it isn’t really true.”

“No, I do know. One day I’ll tell you how I know, but not tonight. Is it my turn now?” Marnie nodded. “How many brothers and sisters have you got?”

“Me?” Marnie was amazed. “None. Why should you think I had?”

“Do you mean you’re the only one?” Anna’s voice sounded quite shocked. She was disappointed. What about the boys and girls in navy blue jeans and jerseys? She had been so sure they belonged to The Marsh House too…

Marnie gave her a little push with her elbow. “What’s the matter? Aren’t I enough for you? – And that’s not a proper question, by the way.”

Anna laughed. “Yes, but I always thought you were a big family.”

“Well, I suppose we are, in a way…” Marnie began counting on her fingers, “There’s me, and Lily, and Ettie, and Nan, and Mother, and Father…” she hesitated – “and Pluto.”

Something about the way her eyes suddenly darkened made Anna ask quickly, “Who’s Pluto?”

“No, no, you’re cheating! It’s my turn now. Question two – are you an only, too?”

Anna considered. Did Raymond count or not? He was not really a brother or a cousin or any relation at all. “Sort of,” she said at last.

“What do you mean, sort of?”

“Now you’re cheating! It’s my turn. Who’s Pluto?”

“Our dog.” Marnie looked suddenly solemn. “I’ll tell you a secret. I hate him really. He’s big and black, and quite fierce sometimes. He lives in a kennel outside most of the time. Father said he’d be good company for me, but he’s not. I wanted a kitten, a dear little fluffy kitten that I could nurse on my lap, but Father said Pluto’d be good for guarding the house when he’s away. He wasn’t so bad when he was a puppy, though even then he was too big and rough, but he’s awful now. He eats raw meat, think of that! Don’t tell anyone, but secretly I’m frightened of him.” She gave a little shudder, then in an instant became merry again. “It’s my turn, isn’t it? What’s it like, living at the Peggs’?”

Anna opened her mouth to answer and found, to her surprise, that she could not remember. Perhaps it was because she had been thinking about Marnie’s answer, and wondering whether it was Pluto she sometimes heard barking in the night. What was it like at the Peggs’? Not one single thing could she remember. It had all gone out of her head as completely as if someone had wiped a sponge across a blackboard. Marnie, who had seemed only half real, had now become more real than the Peggs. It was odd.

She glanced across at Marnie, who seemed to have sunk into a dream of her own while waiting. She was sitting huddled in the stern with her feet up and her head bent, her face in shadow.

Anna tried again. She must remember about the Peggs, otherwise she would not be able to tell Marnie anything about them. She closed her eyes and saw – faintly at first, then clearly – the scullery, the kettle on the stove, and through the door, Sam’s armchair with the broken springs in the corner. The Peggs and their cottage came to life again. Relieved, she opened her eyes and saw – no-one. Marnie had gone! She was alone in the boat.

She gave a little cry and sprang up, the boat rocking beneath her. At the same minute, from somewhere behind her, she heard Marnie’s voice saying in a startled whisper, “Anna! What’s the matter? Where are you?”

“I thought you’d gone!” said Anna. “What are you doing out there?”

Marnie was standing on the bank behind her. In her long white dress, with the reeds standing up all round her, and the moonlight shining on her pale hair, she looked more than ever like someone out of a fairy story. She came nearer, and Anna saw that she was looking quite frightened.

“Oh, you gave me a shock!” she was saying. “You shouldn’t have run away. I got out to look for you. I thought you must be hiding in the reeds.” She took hold of Anna’s hand to steady herself and stepped back into the boat. “Don’t do that again, Anna – dear.” Her voice was almost pleading.