Кадзуо Исигуро - Klara and the Sun

‘Just wait and see now, Helen,’ the Mother said. ‘Maybe there are other options for Rick anyway.’ We moved beyond the New Cootings Machine and the gray pollution mist drifted past the windshield, so that the Mother, noticing, muttered under her breath: ‘Look at this. How do they get away with it?’

‘Even if there were, Mom,’ Josie said, ‘would those be colleges you’d let me go to?’

‘I don’t understand why you and Rick need to go to the same college,’ the Mother said. ‘What are you? Married already? Young people go to all kinds of places, they can still keep in touch.’

‘Mom, do we have to talk about this right now? Rick really doesn’t need this.’

I turned to look back through the rear windshield. The tall building was still visible but the New Cootings Machine had become hidden by other vehicles. I now knew why the Sun hadn’t acted, and for a moment, I might have let my posture slump and my head hang down. Josie, leaning forward in her seat, looked at me.

‘See, Mom,’ she said, ‘you’ve upset Klara too. And she was upset enough, what with her store moving away. We need happy talk right now.’

PART FIVE

Josie began to lose her strength eleven days after our return from the city. At first this phase seemed no worse than the ones she’d gone through before, but then came new signs, such as strange breathing, and her semi-waking in the morning, eyes open but empty. If during these spells I spoke to her, she wouldn’t respond, and the Mother took to coming up to the bedroom early each morning. And if Josie was in her semi-waking condition, the Mother would stand over the bed, repeating under her breath, ‘Josie, Josie, Josie,’ as though this were part of a song she was memorizing.

There were better days when Josie sat up in bed and talked, even received tutorials on her oblong, but there were others when she just slept hour after hour. Dr Ryan began coming every day, his expression no longer smiling. The Mother went to her work later and later in the mornings, and she and Dr Ryan would have long conversations in the Open Plan with the sliding doors closed.

It had been agreed, during the better days immediately after our city visit, that I would assist Rick with his studies, so he came often to the house during this period. But as Josie grew worse, he lost interest in the lessons, and took to hovering in the hall, waiting for the Mother or Melania Housekeeper to call him up to the bedroom. Even if this occurred, he wasn’t permitted any more than a few minutes standing just inside the doorway, looking at Josie’s sleeping figure. Once, when he was watching in this way, Josie opened her eyes and smiled.

‘Hey, Rick. Sorry. Too tired to draw pictures today.’

‘That’s okay. You just keep resting, you’ll be fine.’

‘How are your birds, Rick?’

‘My birds are fine, Josie. They’re coming on fine.’

That was all they were able to say before Josie’s eyes closed again.

After that occasion, because Rick seemed so discouraged, I walked with him down the stairs and out the front door. We then stood on the loose stones together, looking at the gray sky. I could see he wanted to talk further, but perhaps aware we could be heard from the bedroom, he remained silent, prodding the stones with the toe of his sports shoe. So I asked, ‘Would Rick perhaps walk with me a little?’ and indicated towards the picture frame gate.

When we stepped into the first field, I saw that the grass was more yellow than it had been the evening we’d crossed to Mr McBain’s barn. We walked slowly along the first part of the informal trail, the wind intermittently parting the grass to allow glimpses of Rick’s house in the distance.

We reached a spot where the informal trail widened into a kind of outdoor room, and there Rick stopped and turned to face me, the grass rustling around us.

‘Josie’s never been this bad before,’ he said, looking down at the ground. ‘You kept saying there was reason to hope. You kept saying it like there was a special reason. So you had me hoping too.’

‘I’m sorry. Perhaps Rick is angry. The truth is, I’ve been disappointed too. Even so, I believe there’s still reason for hope.’

‘Come on, Klara. She’s just getting worse. The doctor, Mrs Arthur, you can see it. They’ve just about given up hoping.’

‘Even so, I believe there’s still hope. I believe help might come from a place the adults haven’t yet considered. But we need to do something now quickly.’

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about here, Klara. I guess it’s to do with this big deal you can’t share with anyone else.’

‘To be truthful, ever since we returned from the city, I’ve been unsure. I was waiting and hesitating, hoping the special help would come regardless. But now I believe the only right course must be for me to go back and explain. If I made a special plea…But I shouldn’t talk any more about this. I need Rick to trust me once more. I need again to go to Mr McBain’s barn.’

‘So you want me to carry you again?’

‘I must go as soon as possible. If Rick isn’t able to take me, I’ll try on my own.’

‘Whoa, hold on. Of course I’ll help. I don’t see how this helps Josie, but if you say it will, then of course I’ll help.’

‘Thank you! Then we must go without delay, this evening. And like the last time, we must get there just as the Sun is going down to his rest. Rick must meet me here, this same spot, at seven fifteen this evening. Will you please do that?’

‘Hundred percent I will.’

‘Thank you. There’s one thing further. When I reach the barn, I’ll of course offer my apologies. It was my error, I underestimated my task. But I must also have something else, something extra with which to plead. This is why I must ask Rick now, even though it might be stealing privacy. You must tell me if the love between Rick and Josie is genuine, if it’s a true and lasting one. I must know this. Because if the answer is yes, then I’ll have something to bargain with, regardless of what occurred in the city. So please think carefully, Rick, and tell me the truth.’

‘I don’t need to think. Josie and I grew up together and we’re part of each other. And we’ve got our plan. So of course our love’s genuine and forever. And it won’t make any difference to us who’s been lifted and who hasn’t. That’s your answer, Klara, and there won’t be any other.’

‘Thank you. Now I have something very special. So please, don’t forget. Meet me here again at seven fifteen. This very place where we’re standing.’

—

Now I was more accustomed to riding on Rick’s back, I often reached out a free hand to help part the grass. Not only was the grass more yellow than on our previous journey, it was more soft and yielding, and even the clouds of evening insects broke kindly against my face as we passed through them. This time the fields never became partitioned, and once the third picture frame gate was behind us, I had a clear view ahead of Mr McBain’s barn, the wide orange sky above it – and the Sun already close to the top of the roof’s triangle.

As we came into the low-cut grass area, I asked Rick to stop and let me down. Then, as he and I stood watching the Sun sink lower and lower, the barn’s shadow, as it had the last time, came stretching towards us across the weave-patterned grass. Once the Sun went behind the barn’s roof structure, I remembered how important it was not to take any more privacy than necessary, and asked Rick to leave me.

‘What goes on inside there?’ he asked, but before I could give any sort of response, he touched my shoulder kindly and said: ‘I’ll be waiting. Same place I was last time.’

Then he was gone, and I was alone, waiting for the Sun to reappear below the roof level and send his last rays to me through the barn. It occurred to me then not only that the Sun might be angry about my failure in the city, but also that this could well be my final chance to beg for his special help – and I thought about what it might mean for Josie if I failed. Fear entered my mind, but then I remembered his great kindness, and I walked without further hesitation towards Mr McBain’s barn.