Meg Cabot - Boy Meets Girl

JV: Ms. Mackenzie has no reason to harbor a grudge against the paper. Do you, Ms. Mackenzie?

KM: No, of course not.

JV: Fine. Now, if you would just look at this paper here that was found in Mrs. Lopez’s personnel file. . . .

SH: Mitch, could I please see you in the hallway?

MH: Hang on a minute, Stuie. I want to see what Ms. Mackenzie has to say.

SH: Mitch. The hallway. Now.

JV: Mr. Hertzog, could you please be quiet? Ms. Mackenzie is trying to concentrate.

SH: Oh, you have got to be shitting me with this, Jeri.

JV: I beg your pardon, but I’m not. Part of my client’s case against the paper includes the fact that proper procedure for dismissal—in this case as stipulated by her union—was not followed. And yet, miraculously, this piece of paper, which my client says she’s never seen before, has appeared in her file. I just want to verify that Ms. Mackenzie did indeed write and send it. Ms. Mackenzie? Did you indeed write and send the letter of written warning you are holding in your hand right now?

AJ: You can’t ask her to remember every piece of paper that crosses her desk. She’s just a paper pusher, after all—

JV: Again, Mitch, I’d like to ask that you control your client.

MH: Amy. Cool it.

SH: Cool this, Mitch.

MH: Miriam, could you please let it be noted in the transcript that counsel for the defense just gave his fellow counsel for the defense what is known in the vernacular as “the finger”?

ML: Yes, sir.

SH: Miriam, strike that.

MH: Too late. Isn’t it, Miriam?

ML: Yes, sir.

JV: Ms. Mackenzie.

KM: Yes?

JV: The paper you’re holding. Do you remember writing it?

KM: Um. Well, I remember starting it . . . or one like it.

AJ: See? See, I told you she couldn’t remember. Can I go now?

JV: Please, Ms. Jenkins. Ms. Mackenzie?

KM: But I didn’t write this.

AJ: She’s lying!

SH: Really, Jeri, can’t you see what she’s doing? This young woman has a grudge against her employer because Ms. Jenkins had to reprimand her yesterday for wearing a skirt of an inappropriate length to the office, and she’s just trying to—

JV: Is that true, Ms. Mackenzie?

KM: Well. Yes, about the skirt. I mean, Amy issued me a warning letter about it.

MH: That skirt you had on yesterday? That black suede one you wore to the restaurant?

KM: Um. Yes.

MH: I liked that skirt. What was wrong with that skirt?

SH: Would you PLEASE stick to the topic at hand, Mitchell? We’re talking about forgery here. Because if that girl is saying she didn’t send the letter she’s holding, that is a very serious accusation—

MH: Did you sign this letter, Kate?

KM: That looks like my signature. But I didn’t write—or sign—this letter.

AJ: That’s impossible!

MH: And you didn’t hand that letter to Mrs. Lopez to initial?

KM: At no time did I hand any document of any kind to Mrs. Lopez to sign.

JV: Thank you very much, Ms. Mackenzie. Mr. Hertzog, Ms. Jenkins, looks like I’ll be seeing you both in court. Ida, let’s go.

SH: Hold on just a minute, here! Jeri, put your damned briefcase down. We aren’t done yet.

MH: Really? I think we are.

SH: Excuse me, Ms. Mackenzie. Do you realize the seriousness of what you’re saying?

MH: Do you think we’re done, Jeri?

JV: Very much so, Mitch.

SH: You’re implying, Ms. Mackenzie, that somebody has committed forgery.

KM: Well. I don’t know about that. All I know is, I didn’t write that letter. And I didn’t give it to Mrs. Lopez to sign.

MH: Thank you very much, Ms. Mackenzie. You may go now.

SH: No, she may not fucking go, Mitch.

JV: Well, my client and I are fucking going.

SH: Nobody is going anywhere. Ms. Mackenzie, how long have you worked at the New York Journal ?

JV: Stuart, Ms. Mackenzie has already been deposed. I’m not interested in—

SH: Yes, but you asked that she be brought here today, to help clear some things up—your words, no?

JV: Yes, but—

SH: Well, that’s all I’m trying to do. Help clear things up. Now. Ms. Mackenzie, you’ve been with the paper for a little less than a year, correct?

MH: Stuart, this is my case, I believe, not yours.

KM: Um. Yes?

SH: Right. And I believe you were hired on the strong recommendation of your friend, Ms. Jennifer Sadler. Is that correct?

KM: Jen told me about the opening in her office, yes, and I applied. . . .

MH: I believe your exact words, Stuart, were that you were too personally involved in the case to want to get involved. . . .

SH: And so you were hired, is that correct, Ms. Mackenzie? And you and Jen, as you call her . . . Would you say she is your best friend?

MH: Stuart, where the hell are you going with this?

SH: Excuse me. I ask only to be extended the same courtesy I extended to you, Mitchell. Were you not, Ms. Mackenzie, living with Ms. Sadler until recently?

KM: Well, I . . . I mean, I’ve been having some trouble finding a place, and so I was staying at Jen’s until I could find somewhere I could afford on my own. . . .

SH: And do you and Ms. Sadler—whom I believe you met in college—sometimes gossip in the workplace?

MH: Stuart. Really. What does this—

SH: Oh, that will become apparent. Don’t you two like to pass notes, and Instant Message each other, and e-mail back and forth between your computers on an almost constant basis, Ms. Mackenzie?

KM: Well, Jen and I . . . I mean, we maintain a close working relationship, and she helps me with many work-related projects—

SH: Work-related. Is your commenting on the apparel of your supervisor, Ms. Jenkins, work related?

KM: Well, apparently her commenting on mine is—so, yes.

MH: Touché.

SH: What about referring to Ms. Jenkins as . . . What is it again? Oh, yes. The T.O.D. Is that work related?

KM: How did you—

MH: Stuart. Cut it out.

JV: I agree with Mitch. What does any of this have to do with the fact that your client—or at least someone in her office—forged my client’s initials on a document she never even saw?

SH: I’m getting to that. What does T.O.D. mean, Ms. Mackenzie?

KM: Um. It means . . . It means Tough On Doubters. Because Amy’s always very tough on people who doubt . . . her ability.

SH: Tough on Doubters.

KM: Uh-huh.

SH: You realize you’re supposed to be telling the truth here, don’t you, Ms. Mackenzie?

KM: (inaudible)

SH: What was that, Ms. Mackenzie?

KM: Nothing.

SH: Isn’t it true that you and Ms. Sadler dislike Ms. Jenkins, and spend most of your time at the office every day making fun of her?

KM: No. That’s not true at all.

SH: Isn’t it also true that you are friendly with a number of New York Journal employees who’d like nothing better than to see Mrs. Lopez reinstated?

KM: Well, yes. I mean, everybody loves Mrs. Lopez, and we all miss her very much—

SH: That is an inaccurate statement right there. Not everyone at the New York Journal loves Mrs. Lopez. Not everyone believes she is entitled to get her job back. Not everyone agrees she even MAKES the best key lime pie in the city—

MH: Stuart. Come on. This is getting personal now, and I don’t think—

SH: YOUR friends are the only ones who feel that way, isn’t that so, Ms. Mackenzie? Including the woman you are now living with, Ms. Dolly Vargas. Who happens to be involved—and I mean in the romantic sense—with the owner of the New York Journal, Peter Hargrave, who ALSO expressed regret at the loss of Mrs. Lopez’s baked goods. Isn’t that so, Ms. Mackenzie?

KM: Isn’t what so? That I’m living with Dolly, or that Peter likes Mrs. Lopez’s cinnamon buns?