Meg Cabot - Boy Meets Girl

Anyway, just so you know, I went home and Googled Stuart—I know! I’m so bad!—and found out all about Hertzog Senior, and I’m telling you, you have nothing to worry about, the family’s good for ten million at least, maybe even more, if you count the crazy mom’s doll collection. They’ve got a condo in Scottsdale, and another in Tahoe, and a house in Ojai.

Girlfriend, you SCORED!!!

Let’s do lunch next week. Oh, did you hear? Courts wants to throw an engagement party for you. But I’ve got dibs on the lingerie shower!

Kisses,

Heath

To: Amy Jenkins

Fr: Mary Beth Kellogg Sneed

Re: Congratulations

Ames, I’m so happy for you. He’s a real sweetie—I love how he told off that waiter for bringing us the wrong year of that merlot (they really DO think they own the city, don’t they?) And your ring is gorgeous. If you want to get matching diamond studs and a pendant, you HAVE to see John at Harry Winston. He’s the BEST.

A few things you might want to consider, though: genetic testing . . . you know, just to make sure neither of you are carriers of anything nasty . . . although I’m sure you aren’t. But you never know.

And secondly—his name. I mean, HERTZOG? See if he’d be willing to drop the OG. There is nothing wrong with being a Hertz, you know. . . . Look at Hertz rental cars.

Just a couple of things you might not have thought of.

Oh, you’re going to be the most beautiful bride! The Pilates is really giving you definition in your upper arms, just like I said it would. I hope you’ll enjoy this, the most magical time in your life. Every girl should be as pretty a bride as you’re going to be, Ames! Let me know if you want help scheduling an appointment at Vera’s. I know her cousin personally.

Toodles,

MB

THE NEW YORK JOURNAL

New York City’s Leading Photo-Newspaper

Features Division

The New York Journal

216 W. 57th Street

New York, NY 10019

Human Resources Division

The New York Journal

216 W. 57th Street

New York, NY 10019

We, the undersigned, demand the immediate reinstatement of Ida Lopez to her post in Food Craft Services for the senior-staff dining room. We feel that her dismissal is detrimental to the temperament and overall well-being of the paper’s staff. Additionally, this morning there were no muffins or scones to go with our coffee. Some of us were forced to go for Krispy Kreme doughnuts across the street. If pastries continue to be unavailable in the senior-staff dining room, and we are forced to continue to leave the building for Krispy Kremes, HR could find themselves looking at disastrously high insurance rates, due to personnel possibly being struck by buses and/or bicycle messengers while venturing from the building in search of breakfast treats.

Furthermore, the saturated fat content of a single glazed Krispy Kreme is approximately 22 grams, twice that of a whole bag of M&Ms. Continued ingestion of said Krispy Kremes could lead to catastrophic health-care costs as Journal employees are felled by diabetes and/or heart disease.

In conclusion, reinstating Ida Lopez as dessert supplier of the senior staff dining room will save the company millions in health-care and insurance costs, and lower the cholesterol and overall discontent of the paper’s staff. Please do what you can to see that Ida Lopez is returned to her post. Thank you.

Melissa Fuller-Trent

George Sanchez

Dolly Vargas

Tim Grabowksi

James Chu

Nadine Wilcock-Salerno

To: Amy Jenkins

Fr: Penny Croft

Re: Ida Lopez

Ms. Jenkins:

Mr. Hargrave was somewhat disturbed this morning when he went to the senior-staff dining room and found that Ida Lopez, who normally supplies and runs the dessert cart, was not present. He was even more disturbed when, upon inquiring as to the whereabouts of Mrs. Lopez, he learned she had been let go. Surely this isn’t true? You may not be aware of the fact that Mr. Hargrave has quite a sweet tooth, and has become quite fond of Mrs. Lopez’s cinnamon rolls. I do hope you can get to the truth of this matter, and let me know when we can expect Mrs. Lopez back at her cart.

Sincerely,

Penny Croft

Assistant to Peter Hargrave

Founder and CEO of

The New York Journal

To: Mitchell Hertzog

Fr: Stuart Hertzog

Re: Ida Lopez

I just received a phone call from Amy. She is extremely upset. She said she just discovered that you’d scheduled a pretrial discovery conference with one of her staff members.

You deposed one of Amy’s employees this morning without checking with me first? After I specifically asked you to keep me informed on the status of the case, you went ahead and saw one of Amy’s employees behind my back?

Don’t think this is the last you’re going to hear about this.

Stuart Hertzog, Senior Partner

Hertzog Webber and Doyle, Attorneys at Law

444 Madison Avenue, Suite 1505

New York, NY 10022

212-555-7900

To: Stuart Hertzog

Fr: Mitchell Hertzog

Re: Ida Lopez

Stuie, you need to relax. You’re going to have a coronary if you keep carrying on this way over every little thing I do. I can give you some breathing exercises I learned from a yogi when I was in India, if you want.

You asked me to take this case for you, and I did. But if you want me to win it in my usual stellar manner, you’re going to have to let me do things my own way.

What’s the big deal, anyway? So I talked to one of your fiancée’s employees without you—or Amy—being in attendance. What, the world is going to end now?

Oh, and when you speak to Dad about me, be sure to bring up—one more time—the thing about how I totaled your Beamer in the tenth grade. Because I really don’t think you’ve run that one into the ground yet.

Give my love to Mom, too, when you speak to her. Which I assume you’re going to do as soon as Dad doesn’t pick up. You know he never answers his cell when he’s on the green.

Mitch

To: Stacy Trent

Fr: Margaret Hertzog

Re: Your Brother

Stacy, I received a very disturbing phone call from your eldest brother just now. Apparently, Mitchell is up to his old tricks. He is giving Stuart a very hard time about his fiancée. (You did hear that Stuart is engaged? Janice says you told her. God knows no one in this family ever tells ME anything, but why should they, as I’m only their mother? But anyway, Stuart’s marrying that nice Amy Jenkins he brought to your house for Thanksgiving.)

In any case, Stacy, as the only one in the family who has ever had a modicum of influence over Mitchell, I’m asking you—no, telling you—to please try to do something about Mitchell’s attitude. He has upset his brother very, very much. And after everything we’ve been through this year with Janice—did you know she dyed her hair green ? And is insisting we call her Sean? As if there were anything wrong with the name we gave her—I am very much looking forward to planning this wedding between Stuart and Amy. If anything should happen to put it in jeopardy, I’ll probably have to be institutionalized. Please don’t allow Mitchell to rob me of the single joy I have left in life.

With love,

Mom

Dear Katie,

Hello! I wanted to say thank you so much for all you have done for me. I know it is not your fault I was fired. So I baked this bundt cake for you. I hope you like it. I have enclosed the recipe. Since I know girls your age don’t bake anymore, I tried to make it simple for you. I think if you try making this cake for any man, he will marry you in a second flat. But not that ex-boyfriend of yours, he is no good for you.

All my love,

Ida