Meg Cabot - The Princess Present

and I had to admit I didn't know. That's when she stabbed a finger at me and went, "Ah ha! I'll tell you

what they wear inWest Virginia ! Gunnysacks! That's what they wear inWest Virginia !"

I toldGrandmère that contrary to what she might believe, the Depression is over and nobody wears

gunnysacks anymore.

But I don't know. I mean, what about that movie Nell , starring Jodie Foster, where she played that deaf

mute who lived way out in the woods and was always going on about "dancin'een theweend "? I am

pretty sure that was set inWest Virginia .Or one of theCarolinas . Close enough. And she was wearing a

gunnysack.Or a housedress at the very last.

Oh, my God, I hope they don't expect us to dress like the natives in order to blend in! I don't own a

housedress! I don't even think you can buy one of those inNew York !

Friday, March 11, 11 p.m., the loft

I was so worked up about all the gunnysacks and Gatorade that when I got home I asked Mr.Gianini if

there was something he maybe wasn't telling me about his past trips with Housing for the Hopeful. Mr. G

has never actually been toWest Virginia before, but he went toMexico and someTexas border towns

with H for the H. He went, "Really, Mia, I can't say enough positive things about the experience. It really

taught me to appreciate all that I have."

Which is fine, but didn't really answer my question about the gunnysacks.He did say I could borrow his

hammer, though.

So I went online and instant messaged Michael, because after all, he is my heart's desire, and the only

person on earth who can soothe me when my soul turns fractious as an injured pony.

But even though he is my reason for living and all of that, Michael was totally unhelpful about the whole

gunnysack thing.

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LINUXRULZ: Mia, the people we are going to build homes for are poor, not demented. I am sure they

are going to be wearing something other than bags. I mean, it's not going to be like in Deliverance .

I have never seen Deliverance because I don't like movies where things jump out at people from behind

trees, but I pretended like I had, because I want Michael to think I am mature for my age. After all, he is

a senior and I am only a freshman. I have to do what I can to keep him from remembering I am only

fourteen and three quarter years old.

FTLOUIE: I know. But I mean, did you ever read Christy ?

This is kind of a stupid question to ask a guy, since the only guy I know who has read Christy is my

neighbor Ronnie, who is now a girl.But whatever. Michael is way well read, for a member of what my

mom likes to call the cult of patriarchy.

FTLOUIE: because Christy takes place in theSmokeyMountains , which are practically the same as

theAppalachians , and everybody in it gets typhoid because of the unsanitary conditions, including

Christy, and I am just saying, maybe that's why we're not supposed to touch the animals....

LINUXRULZ: Mia, stop worrying so much. If it were really unsafe, do you think Principal Gupta would

be going?

FTLOUIE: Principal Gupta does some very strange things sometimes. Remember when she agreed to

play OfficerKrupke in the drama club's production of West Side Story?

LINUXRULZ: Mia, instead of obsessing over the possibility of contracting typhoid and/or having to

wear a gunnysack, why don't you try to keep in mind the most important aspect of this whole trip?

I thought maybe he meant the fact that we were going to get to make out beneath theWest Virginia stars.

But since that seemed unlikely, given our last few conversations, I decided he must mean the whole thing

where I might possibly find out that I am good at something besides recording every single last detail of

my existence in this diary, which is not exactly a worthwhile skill.

But when I realized he couldn't possibly mean that, because I hadn't mentioned my secret fantasy that it

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turns out I am an excellent plasterer, or whatever. So instead I wrote:

FTLOUIE: You mean the part where we are helping the poor to self-actualize?

LINUXRULZ: No, I mean the part where you and I get to spend five whole days together without any

interference from your grandmother.

Oooooh! So he is catching on, after all!!!

Michael's right. Who cares about typhoid when there's kissing ?

Saturday, March 12, 5:30 a.m., on the bus toWest Virginia

Well, the kissing hasn't started yet.

That's because before we'd even gotten to the Lincoln Tunnel, Boris got carsick and had to throw up in

a paper bag, and Lilly said no way was she sitting by him anymore, and told Michael to move so she

could sit by me, and when Michael said no, Boris threw up some more, only this time he missed the

paper bag, and it went all over the floor, and Principal Gupta and Mrs. Hill had to clean it up, but they

didn't do a very good job on account of not having any paper towels or anything, so we all had to move

to the back of the bus, away from vomit fumes, and Michael was the only one who volunteered to stay

with Boris and make sure that next time he threw up in the bag.

My boyfriend is so cool. Not only is he incredibly smart and a very talented musician and skilled with

computers and an excellent kisser and all of that, but he is also extremely compassionate. Maybe he will

be a doctor someday, and discover a cure for cancer. I certainly hope so, because that's the only way

theGenovian Parliament is going to approve me marrying him.

I am not worried, though. Michael is a man among men, and will doubtlessly do something extraordinary

with his life that will win the hearts of theGenovian people, just as he has won mine. If only I had as many

useful talents as Michael does. It would be nice if I could play the guitar and knew html.

Anyway, even though I offered to sit up in the front of the bus with Michael and help him pass paper

bags to Boris, he said, just like Daniel Day-Lewis in The Last of the Mohicans, "No, Mia, save

yourself," so now Lilly, Tina, and I are all crammed into one seat until we get to the first rest stop on the

N.J. Turnpike and the bus driver can give the floor a good hosing. Principal Gupta says as soon as we

pull over, she is going to buy some Dramamine and make Boris take it. Boris says Dramamine makes him

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drowsy and robs him of his personality.

I can't wait.

Anyway, Lilly has already started filming. She got a very good close-up of the vomit. She started filming

at five A.M., which is the time everybody had to be atAlbertEinsteinHigh School with all of our stuff in

order to catch the bus. Everybody had a lot of stuff, especially considering that this trip will only last five

days.

The person with the least luggage is Lars. Even though I lobbied very hard not to be accompanied on

this trip by my royal bodyguard, m dad insisted. He said he wasn't thrilled about my going in the first

place- Dad wants me to spend every vacation I get inGenovia - but since Mom had already said I could,

he wouldn't contradict her. He wouldn't, however, allow me to go without protection from would-be

kidnappers. All of my arguing that Tina was getting to go sans personal security system ­ Mr. Hakim

Baba has no enemies, it turns out, in West Virginia, and soWahim gets a well-earned vacation...only he's