Jill Smolinski - The Next Thing on My List

‘ So that’ s what you’ ve always done? Piloted?’

‘ Actually, I started out racing motorcycles out of high school. Picked up a few sponsors, too. Thought I might go pro. But then I took a spill& ‘ He paused to knock on his leg as if it were wooden. ‘ Split my leg open. Messed up my knee. That was the end of my racing career.’

I grimaced and said, ‘ That must have been terrifying.’

‘ You know what’ s weird? My family figured I’ d be the one to die young. At the rate I was going, none of us thought I’ d live to see thirty.’ With that reminder of why we were sitting across from each other, I shifted uncomfortably, and mercifully moving on to other topics, he said, ‘ So, what does your boyfriend think of all this?’ I tried to remember when I had mentioned Robert when Troy added, ‘ I assume that was your boyfriend who came with you to the funeral.’

‘ Oh yeah, we broke up a while back.’

‘ Sorry.’

I gave a brief flick of my hand, as if to say, No big deal, c’ est la vie, because nobody wants to admit they’ ve been dumped and, even worse, that it hurt.

‘ Hey, what’ s that you’ re drinking?’ Troy asked. ‘ Let me get you another& .’

‘ Oh, no thanks.’ I caught a glimpse of Brie and Chanel. They sat at the table with the hotter girl and her friends-whooping over the Lakers game and high-fiving one another.

‘ Come on,’ he urged. ‘ That one’ s almost empty.’

‘ Really, I’ m fine. I’ m driving.’

‘ Too bad.’ He gave me what my mom used to call a devil’ s grin, the corners of his mouth sneaking up. ‘ I was hoping if I got you good and drunk, you might show me that list.’

What could I do? It was stolen property as it was. ‘ Fine,’ I said begrudgingly. ‘ I’ ll show it to you-but first, I want to make sure you understand that a lot of the things aren’ t crossed off yet because they’ re in progress.’

‘ All right.’

‘ I’ m working on them.’

‘ Duly noted.’

‘ And it’ s not fair to cross them off until I’ ve finished them.’

He nodded.

‘ Done them proper justice.’

‘ June& ‘

‘ Yeah?’

He held out a hand. ‘ The list& ?’

I dug it out of where I kept it in my wallet and handed it to him.

He unfolded it and started to read.

20 Things to Do by My 25th Birthday

1. Lose 100 pounds

2. Kiss a stranger

3. Change someone’ s life

4. Wear sexy shoes

5. Run a 5K

6. Dare to go braless

7. Make Buddy Fitch pay

8. Be the hottest girl at Oasis

9. Get on TV

10. Ride in a helicopter

11. Pitch an idea at work

12. Try boogie boarding

13. Eat ice cream in public

14. Go on a blind date

15. Take Mom and Grandma to see Wayne Newton

16. Get a massage

17. Throw away my bathroom scale

18. Watch a sunrise

19. Show my brother how grateful I am for him

20. Make a big donation to charity

His expression was serious as his eyes darted over the items. At one point, he blew out a breath and rubbed his forehead. I wasn’ t sure if I should say anything, so I tossed out a simple, ‘ You okay?’

‘ Number nineteen’ s a tough one.’ I knew the list well by now: #19 was Show my brother how grateful I am for him. ‘ It’ s just that& ,’ he began, and then he stopped. After a moment he said, ‘ Can you excuse me?’

‘ Of course.’

He left the list on the table and made his way to the men’ s room.

Brie scurried over the moment I was alone. ‘ We haven’ t been able to get her to leave, but we might be okay anyhow. She’ s got a bad tooth in the back.’

‘ Lucky me.’

‘ You’ re lucky all right-I see you got men making the moves on you. That one’ s a cutie.’

‘ You met him yesterday. He’ s Troy Jones-Marissa’ s brother.’

‘ Damn, that’ s right. I thought he looked familiar.’

‘ I showed him the list,’ I said, glancing toward the men’ s room door. ‘ He seemed upset.’

‘ Well, sure. It’ s hard to accept your sister wanting to go braless.’

I winced-I hadn’ t thought about how personal a few of the items were.

I made Brie leave before Troy returned, apologizing as he sat back down. ‘ Wasn’ t expecting it to hit me like that.’

‘ I take it you two were tight?’

‘ She was my baby sister-I was already five years old by the time she was born. I looked out for her, you know?’

A brother looking out for his sister? No, I wouldn’ t know. I tended to think of myself as an only child-one who happened to have a sibling.

‘ At any rate,’ he said, ‘ she expressed her gratitude to me fine in her lifetime. You can cross that one off the list.’

Oh, how tempting that was! Reluctantly I said, ‘ Not really.’ I went on to explain to him the rules Susan and I had set up for the list: that I didn’ t have to do the tasks in order, that I had to obey the spirit of the law, and that I had to try as best I could to make them my own. ‘ It’ d be too hard for me to predict what Marissa might have had in mind for that one, so it seemed more sincere to go after it from my own point of view.’ Which meant, I added, that I needed to let my brother know how grateful I was for him before I could mark it as complete. I didn’ t mention, however, that it was going to be interesting expressing how I felt about such Hallmark moments as the time he held me at butter-knife point in the kitchen to make me cry.

‘ Although there is that one here, number fifteen: Take Mom and Grandma to see Wayne Newton. That needs to be your mom and grandma,’ I said worriedly. I couldn’ t imagine they’ d want to go with me to see Wayne Newton-which obviously meant a trip to Les Vegas. I had no idea how I was going to pull that off.

‘ They’ d love it,’ he said as if reading my mind. ‘ They call themselves Wayniacs.’

I gave a mock sigh. ‘ Every family has its shameful secrets.’

He asked to see the list again, and this time when he read it, he seemed to be in lighter spirits. ‘ There are a few things on here a guy doesn’ t want to think of his sister doing.’

‘ I’ ll bet.’

‘ But I don’ t mind picturing you doing them.’

He gazed up at me, and instinctively I crossed my arms.

‘ So who’ d you kiss?’ he asked.

‘ Some busboy.’

‘ Bet that made his day.’

And at that point-damn it-there was no denying it anymore. Something inside me lit up. The groundhog had been awakened in her tunnel and was about to pop her head up to see if the long winter was over. I searched for a mental baseball bat to pound her down. With all the men in the world, couldn’ t I possibly aim my affections toward a man whose sister I hadn’ t killed? If we became a couple-and my God, how had my thoughts even progressed so far so fast?-we’ d for the rest of our lives have to lie anytime someone asked us, ‘ So& how did you two meet?’

‘ I’ ll help you with the one about riding in a helicopter,’ Troy said, and then drained the last of his beer. ‘ Marissa wrote that because I was always bugging her to do a ride-along.’

‘ Ride-along?’

‘ Coming with me while I do a traffic report.’

‘ I’ d love that!’ Stop it! I scolded myself. Stop with the eyelash fluttering!

Brie and Chanel walked up then, shaking their heads. ‘ They were robbed. There was no way that was a foul.’

After I made introductions, Troy stood to leave. ‘ I’ d better get going-I’ ve bothered you long enough.’ He slid the list toward me. ‘ And for the record, you have that one covered.’ He pointed to #8: the unbelievably embarrassing reason we were gathered here today.

I shook my head. ‘ Except for Miss Cutie Pie over there.’