Rex Stout - The Silent Speaker (Crime Line)

“Anyhow, mysterious. Down at Wolfe’s house that evening Erskine accused him of killing your uncle because he wanted to marry you and your uncle opposed it, and Kates let it stand that he did want to marry you, along with two hundred other lovesick BPR’s, and then later that same evening I learn that he already has a wife who is at present in Florida. A married adding machine does not covet another lovely maiden.”

“Puh. He was merely being gallant or polite.”

“An adding machine is not gallant. Another thing, where does the dough come from to send his wife to Florida at the present rates and keep her there until the end of March?”

“Really.” Nina stopped eating pudding. “No matter what Nero Wolfe charges the NIA, you’re certainly trying your best to earn it! You’d just love to clear them completely-and it looks as if you don’t care how you do it! Perhaps Mrs. Kates won some money at a church bingo. You ought to check on that!”

I grinned at her. “When your face is flushed like that it makes me feel like refusing to take any part of my salary in NIA money. Some day I’ll tell you how wrong you are to suspect us of wanting to frame one of your heroes like Dexter or Kates.” I glanced at my wrist. “You just have time to finish your cigarette and coffee.-What is it, Carlos?”

“Telephone, Mr. Goodwin. The middle booth.”

I had a notion to tell him to say I had gone, because I had a natural suspicion that it was the creature I had bribed with three nickels merely wanting to know how much longer we were going to be in there, but I thought better of it and excused myself, since there was one other person who knew where I was.

It proved to be the one other person.

“Goodwin talking.”

“Archie. Get down here at once.”

“What for?”

“Without delay!”

“But listen. We’re just leaving, to see Mrs. Boone. I’ve got her to agree to see me. I’ll put her through a-”

“I said get down here.”

There was no use arguing. He sounded as if six tigers were crouching before him, lashing their tails, ready to spring. I went back to the table and told Nina that our afternoon was ruined.

Chapter 28

HAVING DELIVERED NINA AT the Waldorf entrance, with my pet bribee on our tail in a taxi, and having crowded the lights and the congested traffic down and across to West Thirty-fifth Street, I was relieved to see, as I reached my destination and braked to a stop at the curb, that the house wasn’t on fire. There were only two foreign items visible: a police car parked smack in front of the address, and a man on the stoop. He was seated on the top step, hunched over, looking gloomy and obstinate.

This one I knew by name, one Quayle. He was on his feet by the time I had mounted the steps, and accosted me with what was meant to be cordiality.

“Hello, Goodwin! This is a piece of luck. Don’t anybody ever answer the bell here when you’re away? I’ll just go in with you.”

“Unexpected pleasure,” I told him, and used my key, turned the knob, and pushed. The door opened two inches and stopped. The chain bolt was on, as it often was during my absence. My finger went to the button and executed my private ring. In a minute Fritz’s step came down the hall and he spoke to me through the crack:

“Archie, that’s a policeman. Mr. Wolfe doesn’t-”

“Of course he doesn’t. Take off the bolt. Then keep your eye on us. This officer eagerly performing his duty might lose his balance and fall down the stoop, and I may need you as a witness that I didn’t push him. He must be twice my age.”

“You witty son of a bitch,” Quayle said sadly, and sat down on the step again. I entered, marched down the hall to the office, and saw Wolfe there alone behind his desk, sitting up straight as a ramrod, his lips pressed together in a thin straight line, his eyes wide open, his hands resting on the desk before him with the fingers curved ready for a throat.

His eyes darted at me. “What the devil took you so long?”

“Now just a minute,” I soothed him. “Aware that you were having a fit, I made it as fast as I could in the traffic. Is it a pinch?”

“It is insufferable. Who is Inspector Ash?”

“Ash? You remember him. He was a captain under Cramer from 1938 to ‘43. Now in charge of Homicide in Queens. Tall guy, face all bones, plastic eyes, very incorruptible and no sense of humor. Why, what has he done?”

“Is the car in good condition?”

“Certainly. Why?”

“I want you to drive me to Police Headquarters.”

“My God.” So it was something not only serious, but drastic. Leaving the house, getting in the car, incurring all the outdoor risks, visiting a policeman; and besides all that, which was unheard of, almost certainly standing up the orchids for the regular four o’clock date. I dropped onto a chair, speechless, and gawked at him.

“Luckily,” Wolfe said, “when that man arrived the door was bolted. He told Fritz that he had come to take me to see Inspector Ash. When Fritz gave him the proper reply he displayed a warrant for me as a material witness regarding the murder of Miss Gunther. He pushed the warrant in through the crack in the door and Fritz pushed it out again and closed the door, and, through the glass panel, saw him walk toward the corner, presumably to telephone, since he left his car there in front of my house.”

“That alone,” I remarked, “leaving his car in front of your house, shows the kind of man he is. It’s not even his car. It belongs to the city.”

Wolfe didn’t even hear me. “I called Inspector Cramer’s office and was told he was not available. I finally succeeded in reaching some person who spoke in behalf of Inspector Ash, and was told that the man they had sent here had reported by telephone, and that unless I admitted him, accepted service of the warrant, and went with him, a search warrant would be sent without delay. I then, with great difficulty, got to the Police Commissioner. He has no guts. He tried to be evasive. He made what he called a concession, stating that I could come to his office instead of Inspector Ash’s. I told him that only by using physical force could I be transported in any vehicle not driven by you, and he said they would wait for me until half-past three but no longer. An ultimatum with a time limit. He also said that Mr. Cramer has been removed from the Boone-Gunther case and relieved of his command and has been replaced by Inspector Ash. That’s the situation. It is unacceptable.”

I was staring incredulously. “Cramer got the boot?”

“So Mr. What’s-his-name said.”

“Who, Hombert? The Commissioner?”

“Yes. Confound it, must I repeat the whole thing for you?”

“For God’s sake, don’t. Try to relax. I’ll be damned. They got Cramer.” I looked at the clock. “It’s five past three, and that ultimatum has probably got narrow margins. You hold it a minute and try to think of something pleasant.”

I went to the front and pulled the curtain aside for a look through the glass, and saw that Quayle had acquired a colleague. The pair were sitting on the stoop with their backs to me. I opened the door and inquired affably: