Jackson, Deborah: Heaven's Children (Earth Totem)

‘Why?’

I look at him then, like he’s an idiot. Maybe he is an idiot wrapped up in good looks. Did he just giggle?

Hawk gets up, and then seems to change his mind, and this time, he’s sitting on my dressing table chair. Was he insane?

I notice a lump of clothing and underwear nearby and swoop down to pick it up before depositing it in my laundry basket. I can feel his eyes watching me, and heat rises in my cheeks.

‘Right, I’m going to ask you again, why did you climb in my window?' I arch my eyebrow, a technique I’d picked up from Mum. It doesn’t go unnoticed, and I feel my cheeks burn when he gives a low whistle. I step towards him angrily, my fists clenched. He raises his hands in defence.

‘Ok…Okay…first of all I’m not trying to be a Romeo, and I didn’t climb through the window. I flew through.’ He almost whispered the last part.

I stared at him in shock.

‘Did you just say flew?’ The memories of wings flapping flood back.

He nods - his eyes more serious and he holds his hand up. I shot him a look but didn’t speak.

‘I’m not finished. I wasn’t finished last week. You keep running away Nevaeh. Once you’ve listened – I’ll go, deal?’

I frown. This wasn’t a negotiation.

‘Okay?’

I’m distracted by the way the sunlight seems to illuminate him and his hair has fallen down over his eyes again. He seemed so young then, angelic.

‘Nevaeh, there are two worlds around us - seen and unseen. The world as we know it is moving towards a new age. Ever heard of the Indigo children?' I shake my head, confused by where this was going. It felt like an odd conversation to have in my bedroom.

‘They're a new phase,’ he interrupts my thoughts.

‘You'll find most of them are adopted, and some of them feel disconnected. Look at all the programmes about psychic or gifted kids; they’re starting to get noticed.’ I slowly nod; I had seen some of those programmes, but what did this have to do with me?

It has everything to do with you. Why do you think I'm here?

I was about to ask what he meant when I suddenly realised what he'd just done. I thought back to last week. Hawk had folded his arms and was smiling, but his eyes were anxious, as if he was trying to read my next move.

Read...he justreadmy mind.

No, you just opened yours to mine.Remember, I know you,and you know me.

He smiled wider than before, and I felt like someone had thrown cold water on me as I gasped for breath.

‘What the hell is going on?’ I looked at him in horror. Hawk’s eyes were serious then as he walked towards me, and I backed away nervously.

'Nevaeh, I have to show you who you are.’

‘Who am I? Some freak?’

‘Then we’re all freaks, you know why? Because of who you are.’

I ignore him and turn away, concentrating more on zipping up my jacket. My hands are shaking, and I find it difficult to see through my tears. Memories of that night, of them all laughing, pour in.

‘I’m not listening to this.’ I snap. ‘Any of it, get out of my room.

‘Nevaeh.’

His voice sounded desperate and I whirl round.

‘Look, I'm nothing like you, you don't know me, and that little conjuring trick, the reading the mind thing? Pathetic!’ I bite back sarcastically.

Hawk shifts his feet uncomfortably, and I notice how his shoulders have suddenly slumped. I immediately feel terrible and want to tell him, but he has his back to me, facing the window. Part of me wants him to go out that way, just to see him fly. My eyes scan his broad back, and the way the t-shirt spreads between his shoulder blades. I can almost imagine wings there - they would suit him. I still can’t believe he is here, and my heart is pounding so loudly, I’m sure he can hear it. I feel nervous and self-conscious in the silence. My room isn’t untidy, but it is unprepared for visitors. I’m noticing small details now, right down to the pillow he has been lying on – it still has an indent in it and I know that I’ll sleep on that tonight. I’m noticing other small details as well, like my pink bra peeping out from underneath the pillow that he’s been lying on and flush in horror.

‘Nevaeh.’ He half turns towards me, his eyes seem faraway, and I wish I could read his thoughts.

‘Let’s go out. The group has been asking about you. Amber says you’ve been holed up inside.’ That got my back up. I haven’t been holed up, I’ve been happy, doing my own thing. Then I realised, that’s why he was really here, they had asked him to come. I felt like I had been stabbed.

‘And what?’

‘You thought you’d volunteer?’ I know I’m sarcastic but why do guys always use other people to make an excuse? Not that I have a lot of experience. Why can’t he say that he missed me, like I miss him? I know you, and you know me, what a load of rubbish, I think miserably. If youreallyknew me,then you’d know I don’t want togoout, or hang out with thegroup.That I’d rather… I stop, realising what I’d just done and shot him a look. His look said it all, he had read my mind again and I’m furious at the invasion.

‘Get out, damn you.’ I hiss, blinking away the tears.

His eyes widen, and he tries to grab me, but I push him away or maybe he lets me push him away. Either way, he gets the message.

‘Nevaeh, stop it!’ His voice is hard and I pause breathing heavily. I watch the way he rubs the back of his neck, looking at me strangely. Maybe, this is not what he expects. Well, wrong girl! What did you expect some fluffy bunny? I think of Jo-Jo then. He hovers near the door, and I feel like my heart is breaking but it doesn’t put my mouth in gear.

‘Not the door Hawk, why don’t you fly out the way you came in.’ I blurt, instantly regretting my tone. I had never been so sarcastic in all my life. I don’t know what it was about him, but he brought the worst out in me.

Hawk flinched and gently closed the bedroom door while I held my breath. I watch as he strides past me and throws himself out of the window. I didn’t expect him to do that and by the time I got over the shock, and uprooted myself, there was no trace of him. I’m nervous when I can’t see him in the garden or the woods below. A caw from above catches my attention and I squint in the sunlight, cupping my hands over my eyes. The room felt lonely all of a sudden, which was weird, because there was only ever me here. I felt like a switch had been thrown, and instantly knew I wanted him back, damning myself for being so stupid and hoping he can hear my thoughts as I try to call him back. ‘Hawk,’ I whisper, leaning further out. There’s no answer, in my head or otherwise and I pull away, feeling my eyes well up. I’m such an idiot. I have this hot guy in my room and what have I done? I throw myself onto my bed, burying my head in the pillow he’d laid on, groaning miserably.

‘You’re not so bad yourself.’

I turn over slowly; half afraid the voice wasn’t real.

I don’t have time to look at him, and gasp as he kisses me then. It’s so passionate, that I feel like my breath has been knocked out of me. I don’t even try to resist, not again, not ever again. His lips lock onto mine perfectly, just like I imagined they would. I push my fingers through his hair, enjoying the sensation, everything was real this time, and I didn’t want it to end. What I didn’t expect was to feel myself drifting upwards. I keep my eyes closed, dimly aware of the floating sensation and put it down to this new experience. I had never felt such a sense of pure bliss and my body drank it in thirstily. When I do look up at him, only then, am I aware of the way he is holding me, feeling the length of his body against mine. I don’t know why I suddenly felt the urge to open my eyes but I did.