Phillip Margolin - Ties That Bind

"You've acted very foolishly, Tim, and placed yourself and your family in a precarious position, but I may be able to help you. I want you to go home and let me work on this problem. If Miss Bennett contacts you, stall her. Promise her that you are going to do as she asks but you need time to figure out how best to accomplish her purpose. I'll call you when I know more."

Grant got up and Tim rose with him. Standing was like climbing a mountain. His body seemed to be as heavy as stone and he felt a weakness of spirit that was close to a wish for death.

"Thank you, Judge. You don't know how much just talking to you means to me."

Grant placed his hand on Kerrigan's shoulder. "You can't see it, Tim, but you have everything that most men wish for. I'm going to help you hold on to it."

Chapter Thirty-Two.

Amanda went to bed early and spent another night tossing and turning until exhaustion forced her into a deep, troubled sleep. In her dream, she was on a cruise ship. Amanda had no idea where the ship was sailing, but the sea seemed smooth and the sky was clear. Still, she felt a vague unease. It was as if she sensed that the weather could change at any minute.

The corridors of the ship seemed to lead nowhere and Amanda was alone and lost, searching for someone whose identity remained a mystery to her. She came to a cabin that looked familiar. When she touched the door, it moved inward in slow motion to reveal a man who was standing with his back to her. He started to turn as slowly as the door had moved. Just before she could see his face, Amanda jerked awake.

For a moment, Amanda was unsure of whether she was in bed or on the ship. Then she saw the glowing red numerals on her clock and knew that she was home. It was five o'clock. Amanda made a short, half-hearted attempt to get back to sleep but soon gave up. The dream had been very unsettling. The idea of taking something to help her sleep was getting more and more appealing, and she decided to talk to Ben Dodson about it at their session in the afternoon.

The Y was open for early risers. Amanda drove over for a workout that she hoped would clear her head. As she swam, she thought about her relationship with Mike Greene. She liked him, and she felt comfortable with him, but there was no spark.

Amanda had been away from Oregon, except for short visits, since she started college at Berkeley. When she returned to work in Frank's firm, she'd found that most of her high school friends had moved away. Many of those who remained were either married or in serious relationships and she was often the odd wheel when they got together. A few of her women friends had chosen career over marriage, but when they met for dinner or drinks, men were a frequent topic of conversation. Amanda loved her work, but her happily married friends had a closeness that she envied, and she was often depressed when she left them.

Mike had gone through a bad divorce in L.A. before moving to Portland; even so, she had a sense that he might want more out of their relationship. Amanda cared for Mike, but deep down she knew that something was missing. He was a safe haven. When she married, she didn't want to settle for safety. She wanted to be in love.

After her workout, Amanda drove downtown. There was a brief that was due in the court of appeals by next Friday, and she could get a lot of work done because the phones didn't ring in the office until the receptionist came in at eight. Amanda grabbed a scone and a latte at the coffee bar at Nordstrom, then entered the Stockman Building. She passed Daniel Ames's office on the way to her own.

Daniel's early life had been terrible. In his late teens, he had run away from an alcoholic mother and a series of abusive "fathers," living on the street until he'd joined the army out of desperation. After the army, Daniel had worked his way through college and law school, finishing high enough in his law-school class to get a job offer from Portland's largest firm.

Daniel was consulting a medical text as he waded through a stack of doctor's reports in a medical malpractice case. He looked up and grinned. Daniel was handsome, with solid shoulders and a great smile. It was almost impossible now for Amanda to remember how frantic and hopeless her friend had seemed when they'd first met in the Multnomah County jail. Daniel had been framed for the murder of one of his firm's senior partners and Kate and Amanda had saved him. Daniel had been living with Kate Ross since Kate's investigation, and Amanda's courtroom skills had cleared his name.

"I didn't think the bosses got to work this early," Daniel joked.

"I'm just here to keep an eye on the help."

"Kate's in, too. She wanted to talk to you about something."

Amanda carried the latte and the bag with the scone down the hall to the investigator's narrow, messy office.

"What have you got for me?" Amanda asked as she pushed papers away from the edge of Kate's desk and put her food on the cleared space. As Kate told her about her meeting with Billie Brewster, Amanda munched on her scone and sipped her latte.

"So, what's your conclusion?" Amanda asked when Kate was through.

"If this 'Vaughn Street Glee Club' exists, and Wendell Hayes was part of it, he could have been sent to the jail to kill Dupre."

"Why?"

Kate shrugged. "Beats me. Did Dupre have any idea why Hayes was after him?"

"No."

Amanda finished her scone and washed the last piece down with a sip of her latte.

"What are you doing next?" she asked Kate.

"I set up a meeting with Sally Grace to go over the autopsy report on Michael Israel to see if there's any evidence that he was murdered."

Amanda stood up. "Let me know what you find."

"First thing."

Amanda shook her head. "This case isn't getting any easier."

Amanda was still awkward about her visits to Ben Dodson and she'd told no one--including her father--that she was seeing a psychiatrist.

"I've been reading about you in the papers," Dodson said when Amanda was seated in his office.

"The reporters won't leave me alone," Amanda answered self-consciously.

"Have you had any trouble handling the pressure?"

Amanda nodded. "The first two times I met with Jon Dupre I was terrified."

"I don't think that's an abnormal reaction given the fact that he'd killed his previous lawyer." Dodson smiled. "I guarantee you, I'd have been pretty nervous if you asked me to evaluate him."

Amanda laughed and felt her anxiety ease a bit.

"I guess you're right."

"See, not every fear reaction is irrational."

"I didn't let my fear paralyze me," Amanda said proudly. "I was scared to death, but I forced myself to sit in the same room with Jon."

"That's good. What I want to know is whether you've had any more flashbacks--the kind of feelings that are unexpected."

"Seeing the autopsy photographs of Senator Travis and Wendell Hayes upset me, and that was unusual. I mean, you see those kinds of things all the time in my line of work."

Dodson flashed Amanda a reassuring smile.

"Anyway, the photos did get to me, and my fear of meeting with Dupre was much more intense than the normal tension I always experience when I'm in close quarters with my more dangerous clients."

"But you dealt with it."

Amanda nodded.

"When we talked during your first visit, you expressed some anxiety about continuing to work as a criminal defense attorney. How are you feeling about that?"

"Pretty good, actually." Amanda paused. "There's something funny about Dupre's case. I can't get into the facts . . ."

"Of course."

" . . . but Jon may be innocent, and that made me remember why I got into this business in the first place--to protect people who couldn't protect themselves. So, the case is making me feel better about what I do."