Mark Tufo - A Plague Upon Your Family

My mouth must have been agape.

“You know Mike, I’ve been on a farm most of my life. Hard work is nothing new to me.”

“Sorry. That’s just genius.”

“Necessity. You want sugar in your coffee?”

“Please.” I said absently as I grabbed the mug from her. “Where is it now, I didn’t see it when we came in yesterday.”

“After Tommy’s message, I took down the part that led to the house and the barn. I didn’t want you to run it over mistakenly. Just because I can do hard work doesn’t mean I want to repeat it and a good portion of what is still up is under snow. Last night after our little talk in the kitchen... ”

I flushed with embarrassment. “Sorry about that.”

“Don’t be. I saw your knee after Tracy unwrapped it. I wasn’t even sure how you were still standing. I did my best to drain it.”

“Oh, so that’s why it feels better. Thank you and you won’t mind if I don’t ask how you did it?”

She laughed again. “No I’ll get over it. So after you went to sleep,” She emphasized ‘sleep’ “I re-strung the alarm”. Didn’t expect to get company but I didn’t want to make any unexpected guests feel welcome.”

“Was there just the one then?” I asked her.

She looked hard at me. “You must have been sleeping pretty heavily. There were three. Travis and Jen took care of them all. They’re still out there making sure no more are coming. I wanted to get my old bones inside and by the fire. Now that I’ve got help I’m not too proud to use it.”

“Three?”

“And by the looks of them they look like they’ve traveled a ways.”

I bet they had! Fucking Eliza, I was going to slit her throat personally. I momentarily thought about heading outside, but garbed like I was, my manhood would shrivel to half its size and that I could not stomach or afford.

“I brought some clothes down for you, figured you’d want to go out as soon as you got up and the less stairs you climb right now the better.”

I nodded to her, my terse thoughts elsewhere.

“Mike you’re knee hurting again. You look mighty upset all of a sudden.”

“I just think we brought a whole lot of heartache down on you Carol, by coming here, I mean.”

She gently caressed my cheek. “You’ve done no such thing, you want bacon for breakfast?”

“There could be a sainthood in this for you Carol.”

“I’ll take that as a yes.” She said as she turned back around.

I heard Jen and Travis come inside. It would have been hard not too, as loud as they were stomping the excess snow off their boots. I had just finished pulling on my third sweater and met them in the hallway. Jen’s color was nearly the shade of the material she was liberally shedding in the mudroom.

“Is that bacon?” Travis said happily as he headed into the kitchen.

I noticed that Jen waited patiently until Travis was out of earshot before she spoke.

“I won’t swear it Mike, the damage was just too great, but I’d bet money those people, I mean zombies.” She shook her head. “Were from Little Turtle.”

To think something bad is happening is bad enough, but to get conformation is downright shitty. “Are you sure?”

We both knew I was hoping for an alternate outcome.

“Like I said Mike, when you blow someone’s head off it’s a little difficult to get a positive i.d.”

“Well to be fair, you didn’t quite say it like that.”

“You know what I meant.”

“Yeah I know what you meant. I just want to choose not to believe it.”

“Are you going out to check?”

“No.”

She studied my less than poker face. “You knew they’d be coming?”

“Figured as much. I’d sort of hoped that maybe this was the place where we could finally stop and plant some roots. It feels so right here. Cold sure, but the energy seems so strong. I guess maybe I thought this might be some sort of hallowed ground. Crazy right?”

“No I don’t think so. We all want somewhere that we don’t constantly have to feel like it could be our last minute. I love this place too but it’s not the most easily defendable.”

“Wow, I think you may have been around me too long. My crazy is starting to rub off.”

“Not necessarily a bad thing Talbot, now let’s get some of that bacon. I’m starving.”

Tommy was already sitting at the table, strips of bacon hanging out of both his hands. His broad smile dappled with the fried goodness. “Morfning Mftr. T!”

There was one way in to the kitchen and I had been standing in the hallway that led in. I would have bet a mountain of Kit-Kats that the boy had not stepped into that hallway to get past me. “How’d you get here Tommy?”

“I walked.” He smiled again.

I was looking for more than the literal explanation. Tommy looked down at his hands, seemingly more concerned from which hand he was going to take his next bite from than answering me.

Travis and Carol were not going to be of any help. They were both at the stove. Carol was showing Travis how to make an omelet. Although I could tell from his posture he was more intent on eating said omelet than on learning how to make it. Maybe I would have pressed the issue, most likely not, but the rest of the family chose that time to come in. Tommy’s eyes twinkled at mine.

“You got them up. Didn’t you, you sly dog.” I conspiringly said to him.

“Bacon?” He said, pushing his meat-laden fists under my nose.

“Thanks I’ll get my own.” He seemed immensely relieved at that answer.

Breakfast was phenomenal. Farm fresh everything. I knew processed, and artificially preserved foods were a necessary evil of our society. Oh but what we had given up when we had moved off of our family farms and into the denizens of depravity, that would be cities, in non-sarcasm speak. Then it all came rushing back to me why we moved away, as I cleaned out the pens and fed the animals that had so graciously allowed us to gain sustenance from them. I enviously eyed the dairy cow. She had seemed completely at ease when I had first entered the animal enclosure but each subsequent time that I stopped to stare longingly at her, she more and more sensed the predatory nature of my visits.

Milk was grand, especially fresh milk. But a steak! Now that would be special.

“Hope you don’t have an accident Bessie.” I said as I patted her snout.

She pulled away, and eyed me warily.

“I’m just saying.” I told her.

Bessie wasn’t appeased much. She didn’t go back to chewing her cud until I was well past her stall.

It was close on lunch by the time I had finished my chores. It wasn’t steak but there was absolutely nothing wrong with the pork tenderloin chops Carol was dishing up.

“I would have made sandwiches, but I ran out of flour to make it with a few weeks ago.” She said apologetically.

“No.” Tracy told me, without a word coming out of my mouth.

“But.” I started.

“No Talbot, you’re not going anywhere.”

“Fine.” I pouted as I sat down to my mounded plate of meat. “Some barbecue sauce, maybe shredded a little. Man it would make a…”

“Talbot!” Tracy said.

“Fine.” I dug in. I didn’t think that after smelling animal ass for the last four hours I’d be hungry. I was wrong.

I parked my butt in the living room after lunch. The couch was inviting. The fire was warming. About the only thing that could have made this perfect was if ESPN were on. Carol had never had a television as far as I had known. Was that even possible? Wasn’t there a law against that or something? I shuddered at the thought. I think the only reason she ever got a phone was to stay in touch with her daughter.

BT was sitting up. “Why you looking all content and shit?” He asked me.