Konrath, J.A. - DRACULAS (A Novel of Terror)

Jeff

• • •

Just added a thousand or so words of Clay’s first appearance. I’m assuming most of the draculas have left the ER by now in search of fresh blood, leaving the ones they’ve killed behind…who are now turning.

Paul

August 25, 2010

I think that assumption is a good one. Can’t wait to read this, Paul.

FYI - I’ll be out of pocket in the mountains on a backpacking trip for a few days starting tomorrow and back into civilization on Saturday.

Blake

• • •

I’m having problems thinking Clay wouldn’t call in the cavalry after one look in the ER — then go in after Shanna.

I think we need more premeditation by Morty. He’s been planning this all along. He hired a demolition guy to wire the cell towers to explode, disable land lines, derail the train.

After he receives the skull he makes a call and simply says: “It’s here. Go.”

Clay can come out of the ER, try to call the sheriff and get no service. He looks up at the hilltop and sees the cell tower lying on its side. “WTF?”

Paul

• • •

Cell phones don’t work in the hospital—they have jammers, like the do on airplanes. When Shanna calls Clay, she’ll have to use a payphone.

Clay can, and should, radio for help. But there’s really not a lot of help. Durango’s police force is only about a dozen cops, and half of them are at the train derailing. And even if a dozen cops do come, most will quickly get slaughtered. Then they’ll form a perimeter around the hospital and wait for the military to assist. But between Clay arriving and the military coming can be a good two hours. Once the military does arrive, the CDC won’t let them in right away, having quarantined the hospital—meaning Clay is stuck in there. They’d need P-4 containment suits, and there probably aren’t many in Colorado.

Having Mort premeditate a trap would mean he knew he would go into convulsions when he bit himself with the skull, and then be taken to the hospital. While that could happen, I’m not sure it’s necessary. Through simple chain of command and politics it could take five hours before the army finally storms through the hospital, and by that time our book is over.

Joe

• • •

But wouldn’t it be kind of cool if Mortimer does have an idea of what will happen? What if he tried the skull on a mouse first? What if that’s the opening scene? A cute little mouse getting punctured by a fang and going apeshit and turning into this ravenous little monster. Mort needs lots of blood to pull off his plan, what he really wants, which is to be forever young. What better place to go than a hospital with sick, dying people, and A BLOOD BANK? I think what Paul is getting at is giving Mort a little more forethought. We know we want Mort to walk out a young, healthy 28-year old looking man at the end (reverse night of the living dead end), so what if he has done some orchestration here? He certainly has the means. What would need to be finessed though, is how additional draculas help Mort’s goal. Don’t they just gobble up more blood he could have? Maybe he intends to fully kill everyone he attacks so they can’t regenerate, but that doesn’t happen. Or he wants an army of draculas for some other purpose, possibly he has some control over them…maybe he needs them for a diversion so he can walk out unnoticed at the end…

Blake

• • •

Blake and I were just on the phone, and we decided to go with quarantining the hospital, and having the army and CDC come in.

Mort should have some more backstory, but not to the point where he booby-trapped the hospital.

Clay can call it in, go look for Shanna, and the Calvary will come and get wiped out. Then the second tier can set up a perimeter around the hospital, to prevent the infection from spreading, but they won’t go in right away.

Joe

• • •

Okay. Either way, Clay gets to make the call, which was my concern.

Paul

• • •

I’m with Joe on this one…I think it’s better to keep it an out-of-control outbreak rather than something that Mortimer had planned. There are a shitload of logic issues we’d have to address is this is all part of some grand scheme.

Jeff

August 26, 2010

Have fun, Blake! I’ll be heading off to a cabin in the Wisconsin woods the day after you get back.

Jeff

August 27, 2010

I’m planning a scene with Shanna in the chapel where she learns the hard way that crosses are ineffective against the draculas. Anyone else have something like this going? Don’t want to duplicate…

Paul

• • •

I believe Blake has written a scene along those lines.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t do one as well. Or that Shanna can’t also be in the chapel at the same time Blake’s character is.

When he gets back from his drunken camping weekend, you two can merge the scenes.

Joe

August 28, 2010

I ended my last section with the power going out…but it seems like it’ll be insanely difficult for all of us to work this element into our individual sections and keep the timeline consistent. Perhaps we should save that for the finale, where the characters all come together?

Jeff

August 29, 2010

Read your sections, Jeff. Awesome. I’m fine with the lights going out then. I can time it to coincide with you. Make sure Randall has a flashlight on his belt.

I’m almost finished with the section where Randall takes off after the girl. She went to look for her mommy. You might want to fix the ending of JEFF 2.0. Randall can still see Mort run past, and maybe even want to go after him, thinking that he’ll kill him and all the others will die, just like you’ve written it. Except have Jenny stop him and say she needs him with her. End it that way.

Then, when the lights go out, Randall can figure it’s Mort who did it. And he’s right—Blake and I will write a Mort POV scene where he takes out the generator. So Randall will go looking for the generator to get it started again.

Does that work for you?

Joe

• • •

“Is that…a flamingo?” asked the old woman.

You are a sick, sick man, Joe Konrath.

Paul

• • •

This had a gun show beat to shit.

Just read your scenes, Paul. Awesome. Laughed at the Dirty Harry line. Clay kicks ass.

I fixed a few small typos. At the end of the Shanna chapel scene (or maybe during it) have the electricity cut out. Then we’ll all be in the dark for a few scenes until Randall gets the lights working again.

Your Sheriff $$—why not name him after one of your other characters from the RJ series? Maybe a brother or father of someone who died. Be cool if this tied in to your other books in a minor way.

Joe

• • •

A few quickie notes.

We’re at 30k words already, and everyone is writing standout scenes. I’m happy to be working with you guys.

We’re at a point where global things are happening that we all need to address in our scenes.

1. There’s gunfire, thanks to Clay. It will be heard throughout the hospital, so make sure your POV characters address it.

2. Clay used the intercom. This is something that can also be addressed. I’m going to have Jenny do the same thing to contact Randall.

3. The electricity goes out, and will remain out until Randall fixes it. Dr. Lanz is the one who did it. We should all be in the dark while writing our 4.0 scenes.

Paul, your Shanna scene you labeled 1.1 is actually 3.1. So during the current scene, or the next scene, lights out.