Ted Dekker - Sanctuary

“She loves you, Danny.” Keith spoke in a gentle tone. “Trust me, I’ve been with her for ten days. She loves you as much as my wife loved me. But my wife’s dead, isn’t she?”

He knew then that Keith had killed Celine. He had followed her out of state and murdered her.

“You took everything from me,” Keith said. “My wife, my career, my life. All of it.”

“How did you find me?” Danny asked.

“It wasn’t easy.” Keith kept his voice low. “Your mistake was telling me too much in your little game of manipulation. I figured out you were a priest—your little story about the pedophile helped. A year ago I heard about a priest who’d cut a quiet deal with the DA. Having connections in the department does have its advantages, even for the scumbags they force out. So I checked it out and I found you. How could I ever forget that face?”

“My face was covered.”

“Not the whole time. I saw your reflection in the window, when you pulled your ski mask off as you were leaving. I’m a cop, remember? I notice things.”

Danny was asking the questions not for himself as much as for Renee. He had to buy her time. He had to reset the stage somehow. He’d once played a game with this man and won; now he was caught in Keith’s game, playing by new rules. The only way out was to reinvent those rules.

“Why didn’t you just have me killed at Ironwood?”

“I didn’t want you dead. I wanted more. And when I told my brother-in-law how a man of the cloth had betrayed his vows, destroyed me, and murdered my wife, he had a better idea. And I liked it.”

The warden was Keith Hammond’s brother-in-law. He probably never knew that Keith had abused his wife. Worse, he believed that Danny was responsible for his sister’s death.

“That’s right,” Keith said. “My wife, Celine, the one you so lovingly took from me, is Marshall’s sister. She’s dead because of you. When I was in a better position, I helped Marshall out from time to time. Got him a job in the prison system. Now, as you know so well, he’s a warden. A bit religious for my tastes, but hey, it works for him.”

The warden stood across the room with his hand predictably in his pocket, watching them with smug assurance. Pape had mentioned the murder of his sister when he told Danny his tragic story, but at the time Danny had no reason to connect the name to his own life.

“The part of his thinking that resonates with mine is that what comes around goes around,” Keith said. “You took my wife and now I’m going to take yours. You took away my playmate, now I’m going to replace her with yours. An eye for an eye. How does it feel?”

“I didn’t kill Celine. You did.” Danny looked over at Pape. “Surely you know that much.”

“He knows that you would say anything to save yourself,” Keith said. “Don’t be absurd.”

Danny saw no value in pursuing the truth of the matter. Keith had obviously anticipated the charge.

“You saw Renee in my arms, Danny boy. I like it best when they come willingly without knowing what awaits them.” Keith spread his hands in an open invitation. “Of course, you can always try to stop it. Prove the warden’s theory that you really haven’t changed and need more correction. He’d love nothing more. He’s become a bit obsessed with you, a man of the cloth who should know better. I think you remind him of himself.”

Danny looked at Renee, who was watching him. He’d forgotten how beautiful she was, how strong and yet so innocent; how smart and yet so naïve.

She wasn’t smiling but her eyes were bright, full of courage. Her sweet voice still whispered in his ears. You’ve done well, Danny. But he hadn’t. Not if he allowed them to torture and kill her. Not if he died, because his death would undoubtedly precede hers. They would never allow her to live now.

He scanned the room again. There was only one unpredictable element in the hard yard: the members. The anxiety that had pushed him up out of deep meditation had vanished, replaced now by a stoic resolve to let his training guide his path. He could not allow any more emotion. Renee’s life might depend on his ability to exercise acute control over his mind and body.

Danny showed his hands in a sign of surrender and slowly stepped away from both Renee and Keith toward the others. No one stopped him.

He eyed the line of members. Godfrey. Randell. All of them staring.

“You’re all fine with this?” he asked them.

“Of course not,” Pape said. “Do you think a good father likes to beat his child? My children feel as much regret and sorrow as I do.”

“I didn’t ask you. I asked them.” Danny moved closer, toward the center of the room, eyes on the other members. “She’s an innocent woman. The warden’s going to torture her in an effort to break me. That doesn’t bother any of you?”

“No one’s innocent,” the warden said.

“And that includes you. But here you stand, judging us all.”

“It’s my role in this sanctuary.”

“And it’s mine to speak the truth.” Danny looked at his cellmate and spoke before the warden could. “How about you, Godfrey? You’re just going to stand by and let this happen? Or you, Randell? You saw what he did to Slane…you think you’ll escape the same fate? He can’t let any of you leave this place now. You know too much. The warden will destroy all of you to protect his precious sanctuary. You’re just going to blindly follow him?”

“So that’s it, then.” The warden stepped out. “You come in here vowing to turn your cheek, and now you ask them to resist. You see what I mean, Danny? You really are a charlatan. You’re finally showing your true heart, as I knew you would if pressed. And the party has hardly started.”

The words seared Danny’s mind. Like a fire, they spread through his bones, scorching his heart with that one awful truth: In the end, he really was just as he once was. When all else failed, he would resort to violence and death to save the one he loved. He would do wrong to correct what was wrong, though he’d vowed never to do it again.

And wasn’t that exactly what the warden was doing, defending society from deviants by using violence to fight that violence, rather than love as Danny had vowed to love?

His world suddenly made no sense to him. He was standing before the whole room, making a plea for sanity, but in the end it was his own sanity that was at risk.

Danny wanted to continue his plea—the power of argument had always served him well—but his reasoning faded and he couldn’t bring up the right thoughts or words.

He looked down the line of inmates and saw that they were lost. He’d spent ten days inside and hardly knew them—the warden had seen to that. But they all had one thing in common: they were governed by their humanity, and yet they feared the warden’s consequences too much to question the true nature of that humanity. Even Godfrey, who knew better but could not escape the warden’s hold on his mind.

“You see what I mean, Danny?” The warden came closer, speaking gently now, like a father making his final point to win his son’s heart. “She’s right, you’ve done well. You just haven’t done well enough. So today I’m going to let you prove yourself. Your reward will be great, I promise you.”

Renee could not guess how profoundly Danny had failed her. He stood tall and strong here on the floor, heroic, having endured more pain and suffering than all of them, but inside, his collapse was certain.

He couldn’t save her, he knew that now. Not this time. The simplicity of that realization fell into his mind as if the sky itself had shattered. The walls came thundering down and smothered him.

“Now you see, Danny…”