Radclyffe - Love's Melody Lost

Helen laughed. "She was a regular hellionshe never got on well in regular schools. Not that she wasnt bright - she was always good at whatever she tried. Its just that she never wanted to do anything except play the piano. She said once that when she looked at the world, she heard music. It was her language, as natural to her as talking is to us. All you ever had to do was listen to her play to know what she was feeling. Its the one place she could never hide. When her father put her in the music school, with tutors at home, she did much better. From the time she was young she was in the company of adults, and she never had a childhood. She had been all over the world by the time she was fifteen. She grew up surrounded by people who wanted things from her - a piece of her fame, a piece of her passion. Her music might have been pure, but the world it thrust her into wasnt. Sometimes I feared it would destroy her!" Helen sighed. "She loved a good party, though, and, oh, what a good dancer! She made up for all the hours she spent lost in her work by being a little wild. But we all forgave her for the times she worried us, because she was such a wondershe brought us all so much happiness."

Anna tried to imagine Graham that way, infused with energy and enthusiasm. That there were great depths to her sensitivity Anna had no doubtbut Grahams passionate embrace of life had disappeared. What Anna couldnt explain was her own desire to rekindle it.

Chapter Seven

Anna respected Grahams wishes, and did not mention the abundant correspondence that still arrived regarding her former career. Graham remained for the most part an easy person to work for, and if it werent for the fact that Anna was acutely aware of Grahams deep unhappiness, she would have found Grahams company more than satisfying. On those occasions when they escaped from the drudgery of paperwork to relax on the terrace, Graham seemed sincerely interested in Annas life. Anna enjoyed their times together, only wishing for some way to make Grahams rare smile linger.

Unexpectedly at first, Graham began to appear in the garden while Anna was working. She would stand nearby, often wordless for long lengths of time, and then simply disappear. Eventually she started to ask Anna what it was that she was doing. Graham would listen attentively, then smile to herself as she made a mental note of a new shrub or planting. She was slowly creating a new vision of Yardley with Annas help. As the days passed, her visits became more frequent. Anna found herself looking forward to these encounters. On those days when Graham didnt appear, Anna finished her work strangely restless and unsatisfied.

Late one morning Anna glanced up to find Graham close by. Her hands were thrust into the front pockets of her trousers, and she leaned forward with a perplexed expression on her face.

"What are you wondering?" Anna asked, leaning back to see her tall companion.

"What youre planting. This isnt the rose garden, or the English garden, or the perennial bedin fact, this isnt anything at all as I recall." Graham gestured toward each of the gardens as she spoke.

"Youre right on all counts. This is the kitchen garden."

Graham frowned. "We dont have a kitchen garden. Helen always said she couldnt grow weeds, and II never had the time." Her expression became distant, a response Anna was coming to recognize. Whatever the memory, it was painful.

Anna reached into her carry all. "Here," she said, placing a pair of soft work gloves into Grahams hand. "Put these on."

Graham turned the gloves over in her hands, clearly at a loss. Anna found her consternation appealingshe was usually so commanding. Had Graham known her bewilderment was apparent, Anna knew she would have been embarrassed.

"But why?"

"So you can help plant the tomatoes," Anna said matter-of-factly. "Were making a garden so we can grow our own vegetables this summer." She knew she was risking alienating her reclusive employer, just when she seemed to be emerging from her isolation, but she had to try. The gardens seemed to bring Graham some peace. Anna only hoped her instincts were correct. She was quite sure that no one had ever suggested to Graham Yardley that she dig in the dirt.

Graham hefted the gloves. "I dont need these."

Anna studied Grahams hands. They were long-fingered and delicate, ribboned with fine blue veins beneath soft pale skin. The supple fingers suggested strength, but they were not meant for rough work. Anna had seen Grahams hands on the keyboard, how they moved with certainty and grace. She had heard the music from those hands on the night breeze. She did not need newspaper accolades to know they were exquisite instruments in themselves.

"You do need them," Anna said softly. "Please put them on. I cant let you do this without them."

Graham hesitated for a moment, then nodded. She slipped them on, then asked, "Where do you want me?"

Anna grasped her sleeve. "Here, on my right. Give me your hand." She placed a seedling in Grahams palm. "There are twelve of these in each flat. Make a hole six inches deep, then put the seedling in, pot and all. Press the earth firmly around the peat pot, so there are no air pockets. Put the plants a foot and a half apart. Move straight to your right back toward the house. All right?"

Graham brought the young plant to her face. It smelled like warm sunshine. For a moment she was lost in the comfort of it.

Anna watched the transformation of her elegant features. Graham cradled the tiny plant reverently, her face losing its stark tension, relaxing into a gentle smile. The tenderness she hid so well was plainly evident now. Abruptly Graham emerged from her reverie, and with a shake of her head, her expression was once again inscrutable.

"I can do that," she said with her usual confidence. With utter disregard for what must be five hundred dollar trousers, she knelt beside Anna as directed.

"Good," Anna replied. She watched Graham work for a while, amazed at her self-assurance and dexterity. She also noted the care with which Graham handled the delicate new life. She was a wealth of contradictionsremote, emotionally distant, intimidating, and yet she showed such tenderness and sensitivity in the small gestures that she didnt realize were so revealing. Anna found it hard to take her eyes off her. Eventually she forced herself back to work, and the time passed in companionable silence. As the sun climbed above them, Graham paused to roll up the sleeves on her shirt. She leaned back and Anna caught a glimpse of her face.

"Graham," Anna called, "turn towards me."

Graham swiveled around, a questioning look on her face.

"Oh hell. Youre burning!" Anna cried in consternation. She hadnt thought the sun was that strong, but then it occurred to her that part of Grahams pallor was from her rare time outside. She knew Graham walked the grounds late into the night. Only recently had she begun to venture out during the day. Anna grabbed a tube of sunscreen and knelt by Grahams side. "Put this on your faceand your arms, too."

"Are you sure?" Graham questioned reluctantly.

"Of course Im sure!" Anna exclaimed, angry at her own carelessness. "You should see how red you are!" The instant the words were spoken, she wanted them back. "Oh, god! Im sorry!"

Graham opened the tube. "Well, Im notI know what I look like with a sunburn."

Anna thought she looked more striking than ever with color in her face. "Its not that bad, but if it gets any worse, I think Helen will kill me."

"Better now?" Graham asked as she covered her hands and face with the lotion. She lifted her head toward Anna for inspection. Her hair was windblown and tumbled over her forehead in disarray. Sunlight etched the angles of her face in gold, a dazzling contrast to the rich black of her hair and eyes. She was unknowingly stunning, and as Anna gazed at her something visceral shifted in her depths.