Radclyffe - Honor Under Siege

“The two of you have known each other for a long time. Doesnt that

count?

Valerie gently kissed the curve of Dianes breast. “Youd think it would,

wouldnt you? But it real y doesnt. Its possible that he was tel ing

me the truth at the beginning, and somewhere along the line his

priorities or his orders changed. Its nearly impossible to tel .

“But you dont trust him any longer, do

you?

“No,

Valerie

said.

“Do you trust

me?

Valerie kissed Dianes throat, then her mouth. “Yes.

Completely.

“Wil you tel me what youre going to

do?

Valerie hesitated and the silence that closed in around them was more

frightening than anything shed ever known. “When I know, Il tel you.

“Thank

you.

“I know Im asking a lot of you,

but

“I have no idea why people fal in love, Diane said. “Or why we need to.

But I do know this about youyoure strong but youre lonely, and you

can survive without love, but you long for it. You need me, and I need

you. None of the rest matters.

“Youre the only person Ive ever let myself truly need, Valerie said

so softly

Diane could barely hear her. “If I lost you

now

“Im not going anywhere, I promise. Diane lifted Valeries face

between her hands and kissed her, softly at first, then more deeply. She

guided Valerie on top of her until their legs entwined and their bodies

melded. Her kisses grew

insistent as she urged Valeries hips to move with hers, cal ing to her

without words, marrying their bodies and hearts with the force of her

passion and desire.

“I love you, Valerie

murmured.

Dianes breath quickened as Valerie groaned and thrust harder. Wanting

more, wanting everything, Diane twisted onto her side and forced

Valerie onto her back. Stil kissing her, Diane cupped Valeries sex

and found her already wet and open. With a soft groan she pushed

inside her, rejoicing silently as Valerie arched and cried out in pleasure

and surprise.

“Oh yes, thats howthereI need you hard, please, harder, Valerie gasped.

Distantly, Diane was aware of her own building arousal, but al she

wanted was

to have Valerie with nothing between themno secrets, no fears, no

regrets. “I

love being inside you. I love feeling your heartbeat under my fingertips. I

love to

please

you.

With every word Diane thrust a lit le harder. Her teeth skated over

Valeries neck, and when Valerie tightened around her fingers, she

sucked on the delicate skin of her throat.

“Oh my God, Valerie moaned, pushing against Dianes hand. “Im

coming. Oh

God, its so

good.

Diane closed her eyes tightly, concentrating on Valeries labored

breathing, her soft cries, the pounding pulse that beat around her

fingers. She carried her smoothly to a peak, and then again, until

Valerie buried her face in Dianes neck and cried silent tears. Diane

rocked her and caressed her face.

“Its al right, darling. Everything is just exactly as it

should be.

“Im not used to anyone touching me that way, Valerie whispered.

“Sorry, I

cantmy

control

Diane laughed. “Oh, I hope youre not apologizing. Youre beautiful

when you come. I never want to stop making love to you.

Valerie laughed weakly. “Thats one thing Il never

ask.

* * * * *

When Cam walked into the kitchen at 5 a.m., she found Valerie seated

at the table, her hands inert around a mug of cof ee. “Youre up early.

Cam helped herself from the fresh pot on the counter. “Whats on your

mind?

“Henry cal ed.

“Are you ready?

“More than

ready.

“But? Cam watched a litany of emotions flit across her face. Anger,

unease, resolve.

“I know things are going to move quickly once we start planning the

operation, Valerie said. “So I wanted to talk to you before the briefing,

What I am going to say is just between you and me.

“Im listening. Cam could guess what was coming. Valerie was used to

working alone, being alone. She had never learned to lean on

othersso like Blair that way.

“If something goes wrong, we both know its very unlikely youl be

able to extract me, Valerie continued. “I dont want you to try. Col ateral

damage would be high, and She glanced down at her hands, which shed

folded on the tabletop, and then into Cams eyes, “My life isnt worth

yours or one of the others.

A gasp cut across her words. “It is to me. Diane stood in the doorway.

“Damn

you, it is to

me!

“Diane! Valerie jumped to her feet and caught Diane as she turned

to flee. “Diane, wait, you dont understand

Diane whirled back, her cheeks pale and her eyes blazing. She

knocked Valeries hands away. “What do I not understand? I just heard

you tel Cam she should let you die rather than risk someone elses life.

Every single one of them risks their life every day protecting Blair. Is

she so much more important She broke of and covered her face with

her hands. “Oh God, I cant believe Im saying this.

“Thats enough, Cam said steadily, rising to her feet. “No one is going

to die. And no one , she said, her eyes fixed on Valerie, “is going to

be left behind. Thats the last conversation I intend to have about this.

She pointed to the clock. “We have a briefing in twenty minutes and

we have a lot of planning to do. I expect you to be on time, Agent

Lawrence.

Cam walked out without waiting for an

answer.

“Im sorry, Diane whispered, turning away.

Valerie gently caught her shoulders and embraced her. “No,

Im sorry. Im sorry you had to hear that. I never should have

talked to Cam about this here.

“But youre not sorry for asking her to leave you behind, are you.

Ithought you said you loved me.

“Oh God, I do, Valerie said desperately. “But cant you see,

my whole life has been leading to this point, and I couldnt live

with myself if Cam or one of the others suffered for the mistakes

that I made.

Diane caressed Valeries cheek. “You dont get it, do you?

Loving someone means forgiving yourself for the past and

living for the present. And the future. We all have regrets,

darling.

“Ive always operated with the knowledge that my life

is expendable.

“Wel , it isnt anymore. Diane kissed her softly. “Please try not

to forget that.

Valerie took a deep breath. “All right. Id better go.

“You wont do anything without tel ing me, will you?

“No. Weve still got time.

“Of course we do, Diane said fervently. “Of course we

do.

* * * * *

“Yes? Matheson said when his phone rang.

“Weve arranged to meet.

Matheson smiled. “Run it down for

me.

He listened, making a few notes on a notepad with the

motels name and logo stamped at the top. After a moment he

said, “Nice work.

“Theres still a chance we could bring her over. And shes got

an inside channel to several targets.

“You might be right. Lets weigh the options.

* * * * *

“Okay, lets get started. Cam walked briskly to the table,

making eye contact with the agents already assembled. Stark

and Valerie sat side by side across from Felicia and Savard.

“Agent Lawrence, why dont you fill us in on your conversation

with your handler.

If Valerie noted the formality, she didnt show it. “Henry and

I made contact at 0330 and spoke for less than five minutes.