Radclyffe - Honor Under Siege

“They

tried.

“Im not surprised. What stopped

you?

Cam shrugged. “I was a lit le older than you by the time they approached

me, and I already had serious trust issues. Seeing my father kil ed

when he was supposedly being guarded made me wary of giving too

much control to anyone. And I guess it made me want to do a bet er job

than had been done for him.

“God, Valerie sighed. “I wish Id had a lit le less trust when Henry first

showed up in my life.

“How do you intend to determine if Henry can be

trusted? “Hel either try to kil me, or he wont,

Valerie said simply. “And if he does try?

“Then Il know that my entire life has been more of a lie than I ever

realized. Cam stepped closer, but kept her hands at her sides. “Not

al of it.

“No, Valerie whispered, her gaze gently caressing Cams face. “Not

al of it.

“Youl

need

backup.

“Im not asking you or your team to put yourselves at risk because

of my miscalculation.

“Bul shit, Cam said dismissively. “Number one, youre part of the team.

Number two, its not your miscalculation. Number three, I was going to

suggest you meet with him myself.

“Real

y.

Cam rubbed her neck wearily. “Yes. I think wed break this eventual y,

but I dont think we have the time. We cant stay here forever.

Blair has public obligations. Diane has a life, and I thinkno, I knowtheyl

try to get to you through her. We have to draw out your handler and

Matheson on our terms.

“I agree. Besides, I never did enjoy waiting for someone else to

dictate conditions.

“Then lets start cal ing the shots ourselves, Cam said

fiercely.

“Al right. Valerie hesitated. “May I ask you a personal

question?

Cam smiled. “Theres something left about me you dont

know?

Valerie touched her sleeve, then dropped her hand. “Many things, Im

sure. This is about Blair.

“Go

ahead.

“Do you tel her about these

things?

“Oh man, ask me something easy. Cam slid her hands into her

pockets and walked the length of the room, then returned. “I tel her

as much as I can because thats my part of what keeps us together.

“And whats hers? Valerie asked.

“She tries to understand why I do what I do and doesnt ask

me not to.

“Shes going to be unhappy about

this.

“Possibly, but not nearly as unhappy as Diane is going to

be.

“I havent decided if Im going to tell her. Valerie returned to

the window. “It will be beautiful here if it snows.

“You know, Im the last person to give advice on personal matters,

Cam said, standing beside her.

Valerie laughed softly.

“But? “You should tell her.

“Why?

“Because you owe it to her. You let her fall in love with you.

You

could have stopped it.

“I couldnt. Pain fil ed Valeries voice. “I couldnt because I

needed her so much.

“Then you forfeited your right to make unilateral

decisions.

“Your approach to relationships is something like battle

planning, Cameron, Valerie said.

Cam lifted her shoulder. “You use what you know.

“ W h a t I know is that Im not going to run anymore.

From anything.

“The only way were going to know if Henry has turned is if

he makes a move to take you out.

“Yes, Valerie said evenly. “In this particular instance, the length

of our relationship works against him. Hes used to thinking of

me as a subordinate. Hell probably be suspicious, but I dont

believe hell truly see me as a threat.

“Hell still have the first

shot. “Ill just have to duck.

“Lets hammer out a plan with Felicia and Savard so you dont

have to.

* * * * *

“Im not going to like this, am I? Blair stepped away from

the canvas she was painting and faced Cam, brush in hand.

Cam smiled crookedly. “Probably not at first,

but

“Just tell me, and let me decide.

Cam moved a few more steps inside the door and studied

Blairs new work. Shed never seen her paint a portrait before,

and this one caught her by surprise. Blair had captured

Valeries innate loneliness in her remote expression and the

faraway focus of her ice blue eyes. Cam found it hard to look

away as she crossed the studio to her lover.

A roaring fire blazed in a large stone fireplace against the far

wall. The only other light came from several spotlights that

Blair had focused on her easel. Blair wore a faded red plaid

flannel shirt a size too big, faded jeans, and moccasins. She had

been engrossed in working on a small area of shading and hadnt

heard Cam enter the room at first. Cam was sorry to have

disturbed her.

She put both hands on Blairs shoulders and kissed her. “Thats

beautiful.

“So is she. Blair gave a quizzical smile. “I havent been able to

get her face out of my mind. Ive seen beautiful women before,

but its not just that shes attractive. Shes hauntingly sad and yet so

strong.

“The sadness will disappear the longer shes with Diane.

Cam rubbed her cheek over Blairs hair. “Mine did.

“Cam, Blair wrapped her arms around Cams waist and

caressed her back. “You sound a little sad right now.

Silently, Cam shook her head and kissed Blairs throat, then brushed

her lips over Blairs ear. “I love you.

Blair leaned back, keeping her thighs tight against Cams, and

smoothed her palms over Cams chest. “Oh, darling. I love you too.

Now tel me the bad news. I know you didnt interrupt me just to

remind me why I love you so much.

Cam winced. “I need to talk to you about an operation were planning,

and I

need you not to tel

Diane.

“Please Cam. I cant just stand by and watch Diane be

used

Cam shook her head. “Its not like that. Its not that I dont want her to

know, but its not your place or mine to tel her about it. Its Valeries.

Blair snapped of the spotlights, leaving only the fireplace to il uminate

the room, and walked a few feet away to face the fire. Cam watched

the red glow cast Blair in shadows and dreaded the distance that was

about to come between them.

“Valerie is going to arrange a meet with her handler, Cam

added.

“Is that safe?

Cam said

nothing.

“You dont know, do you? Thats the reason for the meeting, to try towhat,

make him show his hand?

“Something

like

that.

“This was Valeries idea? Blair glanced back at Cam. Beyond her,

through the window, the night sky was devoid of moon or stars. The

ocean was a distant thunder that might have been the sound of bombs fal

ing.

“Yes, Cam said, “but I was going to suggest it if she

hadnt.

Blair shook her head wearily. “You two are far more alike than I ever

realized.

She paused, her expression rueful. “Appearances can sometimes

be so deceiving. Valerie looks so much like the woman she was

supposed to bethe kind of woman who would spend her time acquiring

fine art and appreciating the company of a handsome woman like you

in her bed.

“Blai

r

“And of course, Blair went on undeterred, “she is those things, isnt

she? But shes also as single-minded and stubborn andand reckless, in

her way, as you and al the rest. Blair threw up her hands. “God,

Cameron. Is there no other way?

“We dont think

so.

“I know there are things youre not tel ing me, but you dont need to spel