Radclyffe - Honor Under Siege

it out for me to know how dangerous this is. How worried about you

do I need to be?

Cam kept her gaze steady but she flashed on Valerie, alone, with a man

who very probably wanted to kil her. “Il be backup. Its far more

dangerous for her.

Blair tilted her head as if listening to something that hung in the air

between them. “Youre frightened. Frightened for her.

“I always worry about my

team

“No, its more than that. Blair closed the distance between them and

set led her hands lightly on Cams waist. “Its okay. I know how you feel

about her.

Cam shook her head. “No. You

dont.

Blair smiled wistful y. “You are everything in the world to me. And you

love me perfectly, Cam. Perfectly.

“I wish I did. Cam frowned as she skimmed her fingers through Blairs

hair. “But

I swear Ive never loved anyone like I love you, and never

wil .

“See what I mean? Blair kissed her softly. “Perfectly. She

traced the column of Cams neck and slid her fingers underneath

the collar of her blue button-down shirt. “Id like to ask you a

favor.

“Ill do it if I

can.

“Let Savard lead the operation. Youre too close to Valerie and

Im afraid of what youll do if shes in trouble.

Cam rested her forehead against Blairs. “I have the most

experience with operations like this. Savard is not a hundred

percent. I cant let Valerie do this without the best backup

possible. She looked deeply into Blairs eyes. “It has to be me.

When Blair framed Cams face, her hands trembled. “Promise

me that you will not sacrifice yourself for her. I dont care about

your duty. I dont care about your honor. I care that you come

home to me. So you promise me that.

“I Cam thought about what it meant to have Valerie and

Savard and the others place their trust in her, to lead them

into danger with the pledge that she would guard their wel -

being with her life. She thought about what it meant to ask for

the love of a woman. She had asked for Blairs love, and her

vow had been sworn the first time Blair had said I love you

and she had not walked away. “I promise.

* * * * *

Diane found Valerie on the beach.

“Im sorry if you wanted to be alone. She kept both hands in

the pockets of her coat, even though she wanted to touch her.

“Savard and Felicia came up to the house for a late supper and

said that youd gone for a walk.

Valerie slid both arms around Dianes shoulders and kissed

her softly on the mouth. “Dont apologize. Im glad to see you. Im

sorry I lost track of time.

“Its cold and you dont have any gloves.

“Im fine.

Diane pressed close to her. “Youre not. Youre shivering.

Valerie smiled. “Lets go inside, then. Have you eaten?

“Not tonight. I was waiting for you.

“Sorry.

Diane kissed her lightly. “Stop saying

that.

“All right. Valerie took Dianes hand. “Lets grab something quick

to eat and warm up in bed.

“If I have a choice between you in bed or a meal, Im not going

to need dinner.

Valerie laughed. “Then lets go to bed first and have a

midnight snack later.

“What I have in mind might take longer than midnight

to accomplish. Diane drew Valeries hand into her pocket as

they

climbed through the dunes. “I want to make love to you

because

Ive been thinking about it all

day.

“I think I hear a but , Valerie said

gently.

Diane took a breath. “But I dont want to be with you while part of my

mind is wondering what secret youre keeping. Is it something you can tel

me?

Valerie stopped on the back porch and pul ed Diane into the shelter

of her body, out of the wind. She rested her cheek against Dianes.

“Were planning an operation. Im preoccupied, thats al .

“An operation. You and Cam and the

others?

“Yes.

“Wil

it

be

dangerous?

Valerie hesitated. “It could be if were careless, but were not going

to be.

“I dont have any experience with this. Ive known Blair most of our lives

and I

thought I had some understanding of what her life was like, but I was

wrong.

Valerie stif ened. “I had no right to drag you into this. It might be bet er

if I left. Diane turned Valerie until she could see her face in the faint

light coming through

the windows from the house. “Is that what you want? To leave meto

leave us?

“No, Valerie whispered

faintly.

“Then dont ever say that again. Just give me time to get used to this.

Can you do that?

“Yes. God, yes. Anything. Valerie kissed her again, her fingers trembling

as she cupped Dianes face. She buried her face in the warmth of

Dianes throat.

“Anything, anything as long as I dont lose

you.

“You must be certain that I dont lose you either. Diane kissed Valerie

urgently. “Al right?

Mutely, Valerie nodded, hoping that her silence would be taken as the

promise she couldnt make.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Thursda

y

V alerie grabbed the phone on the first ring and slipped

from bed.

“Yes? She moved to the window and peered out into a starless black

night. She was barely silhouet ed, but Diane could stil make out the

shimmering outline of her body.

“Im readyI had to be sure. Yes. Yes, but I dont trust her. She

lowered her voice and Diane strained to hear. “Look, I cant talk

Where?No, somewhere I can be sure youre alone. Trust? She

laughed harshly. “You might be fol owedLook, forget it. Il just Yes,

that wil work. Al right, if thats what you wantNo, thats too soon.

Because I dont want to alert anyone here to what Im doing Yes. Fine.

The usual.

After breaking the connection, Valerie remained stil in the silent room,

listening to the echo of his voice and the breathing of the woman in

the bed. Between those two people lay the boundaries of her world

past and futurebordered by truth and lies. Quietly, she made her way

across the room and slipped back into bed. She drew Diane into her arms.

“Im sorry I woke you.

“How did you know? Diane

asked.

“I could tel from the way youre

breathing.

“Youre

very

perceptive.

Valerie grimaced. “Its funny, I was trained to do two opposite things

equal y wel . To avoid intimacy with anyone, while at the same time

being sensitive to every nuance of expression and movement. It seems

Ive spent my life watching, but never living.

Diane took Valeries hand and drew it to her breast. “Im alive and Im

very real. So is my love for you.

“Why? Valerie murmured, cradling Dianes breast and brushing her lips

over the nipple. “I cant imagine this is what you want.

“This? You mean being with

you?

“Everything that being with me means. Valerie sighed and rested her

cheek between Dianes breasts, stil softly caressing her nipple.

“Your phone cal . That was the person you report to,

right?

“Yes.

“Youre going to meet with

him.

“Yes.

“You lied to him, about not trusting someone here. Cam, I

guess.

“Yes, I lied to him, Valerie said, holding

very stil .

“Did he believe

you?

“I dont know. Probably not. One of the basic rules of our training is not

to trust what people say, or sometimes even what they do, until theyve

proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that theyre trustworthy.