kbinnz - Harry's New Home

Snape shrugged. "I'm certain you can be more inventive than I. Surely there are ways to ensure that they are harassed by all the various bureaucratic agencie?"

Marvin grinned. "It's amazin' what you can do with computers these days. Phony arrest warrants, canceled drivers' licenses, and of course once you get on the wrong side of the tax boys, your life's as good as over."

Snape waved a negligible hand. "Yes, yes. By all means, make use of your 'confusers'. The goal is to make each and every day of their lives a misery."

Marvin was busy scribbling on the back of a paper napkin. "Right, right. This isn't nearly as unusual a request as you might think. Always happy to oblige a friendтАж"

"And I would also like you to make use of moreтАж orthodoxтАж methods of intimidation."

"Put the frighteners on 'em? Easy enough. You have any ideas?"

"The odd assault as they collect their vehicle at a parking structure. Perhaps have someone break into the house while they're out and move things around just to unnerve themтАж It might also be amusing to have them awaken to realize intruders are standing around their bed," Snape mused. "No permanent damage though тАУ I don't want the game to end too quickly."

"Right, right. More a war of nerves than brute force? Again, we get a lot of these requests, though usually it's just for one or t'other," Marvin kept writing. "Blimey, what did these people do to you anyway?"

"Does it matter?"

"Nah тАУ just curious."

"They abused a child in their care, though I don't wish your employees to speak of it. Much better for them to have no idea why they are being targeted."

The Muggle whistled. "Well, good to see you haven't changed much, Sev. Once an evil bastard, always an evil bastard. How many in the family? I might have to charge you extra if there're too many."

"Three. Two parents, one child, age eleven."

"You want the kid left alone?"

Snape stroked his chin. "No-o. I wouldn't say that. While you need not show him the same level of attention as the adults, like them, he should be made to feel helpless and preyed upon."

"Hmmm. Any idea where the little bugger goes to school?"

Snape shook his head.

"No matter. It'll be easy enough to suss out."

"Why?"

"Every school has its share of bullying toe rags. Easy to slip them a few quid and tell them who to target. They'll make the kid's schooldays a real hell."

"Excellent," Snape purred. "So glad to see we understand each other. I'll expect reports twice a month. Separate reports for the bureaucratic harassment and those with the more 'personal' touch if you would be so kind. "

Marvin nodded. "You know the terms тАУ so long as your money turns up in my bank account, you'll get the results you're after."

"Thank you. Here are their particulars," Snape passed Marvin a slip of paper with the Dursleys' names and address. "Good evening."

As he apparated away, he allowed himself a smirk of satisfaction. Albus would be pleased with the bloodless bureaucratic persecution, and if he found Snape's vengeance too restrained to be believable, then the Headmaster could be allowed to discover the additional intimidation as well. He might lecture Severus about excessiveness, but since it was Muggle on Muggle violence, the Aurors would not be called and Azkaban would not be a potentia outcome.

And speaking of AzkabanтАж

When Snape had decided not to be satisfied with the minor torments that were all that Albus would allow him to use on the Dursleys, he had spent a great deal of time determining how else to make them pay. The obvious solution was to enlist the help of someone else, someone Albus knew nothing about, and who would have no obvious reason to know about Harry's relatives, let alone target them. In this way, they could operate with impunity, unnoticed by Dumbledore or the Ministry. That left only one difficulty: whom did he know who was both well able to torture Muggles and likely to welcome the chance? Obviously his own duties at Hogwarts would make it impossible to spend the necessary amount of time overseeing activities at Privet Drive, and to be fair, he had never been particularly sought after during Death Eater revels.

Despite what his students might believe, Snape was not in fact a sadist, and he had never gotten any degree of pleasure from participating in attacks with Voldemort. There were, however, many Death Eaters who found such activities downright entertaining, and it was their skills that he had decided to utilize with the Dursleys. Lucius Malfoy would have been perfect for the role, of course, but since barely escaping Azkaban after the Dark Lord's defeat, he had devoted himself to reestablishing his family's political and social influence. Especially now that his heir was getting closer to his majority, Lucius was being careful to keep his nose (and other body parts) squeaky clean.

Bellatrix Black LeStrange brought new meaning to the term "sadist", not to mention "insane". Even the Dark Lord had, on occasion, been taken aback by her enthusiasm. By comparison to Bella, Voldemort was a picture of mental health тАУ after all, he only wanted to rule the world, a not completely unreasonable goal. Bella was just plain barmy.

Still, Bellatrix could always be relied upon to develop ever new and more inventive tortures, and she despised Muggles with a single minded passion, both traits that would assist her in persecuting the Dursleys. As attractive as that made her, though. Snape had regretfully decided that her lunacy made her too unpredictable to work with on this project.

He sighed. He had really hoped it wouldn't come to this, but who else was left? He needed a Muggle-hating Death Eater with a proven track record of killing, torture, betrayal, and other Dark activities. Like it or not, there was only one obvious candidate left. Leaving the dark pub far behind, he apparated to a foggy, deserted stretch of stretch of sand.

'S that you?" a hoarse voice demanded.

Snape rolled his eyes. "Of course. Have you made the necessary arrangements?"

The other wizard emerged from the fog. "Yeah тАУ got the potions?"

Snape held up one green, glowing vial. "Here's one. I'll Summon the other upon my safe return."

The other man snorted in amusement and contempt. "Don't you trust me?"

"Of course I do," Snape replied silkily. "For you know as well as I do that only my continued good health will prevent certain proofs of your past activities from reaching the Aurors. And naturally you wouldn't want anything to happen to me, or where would you get your тАУ ahem тАУ 'enhancement' potions? Can't have you disappointing your wife, can we? Isn't that the problem with Veelas, they're never fully satisfied?"

"I satisfy her just fine!" the other man flared, but he reached out to snatch the potion all the same.

Snape smirked. "Of course you do. Shall we go over?"

It really wasn't that hard to break into Azkaban, Snape mused. Naturally enough, all the efforts were spent on preventing wizards from leaving. So long as you had a well-placed and highly motivated confederate on the inside, getting in unobserved was rather a doddle. And say what you might about the downsides of being a Death Eater, you couldn't deny that it guaranteed you a well-rounded acquaintance with all the dodgy elements of Wizarding society, not to mention providing a great deal of extortion-appropriate information about them. As a result, identifying an easily-bribable guard had been so easy that Snape nearly felt disappointed. Of course the fact that Voldemort had been gone for nearly a decade and Death Eater activity was now all but nonexistent did tend to lull the Aurors and guards into a state of complacency.

Snape sighed. There were times when he rather missed the excitement of the old days. Matching wits against students тАУ even the Weasley twins тАУ just wasn't the same as serving as a double agent, caught between the two most powerful wizards of the age.