kbinnz - Harry's New Home

That appeared to be a good answer. The frown lines faded and Snape smirked at him. "Let it be a challenge to you."

Harry continued holding his backside for the sake of appearances, but the sting was already gone. Although he could still tell where the slap had landed, no unpleasant warmth lingered - the swat had imparted no lasting discomfort. "Sir," he asked, reassured that Snape had done his paternal duty and wouldn't get into any trouble with Mr Weasley or the Headmaster for not addressing Harry's bad behavior, "what should I do while the rest of you are eating?"

Snape's awful frown returned. The brat appeared to have the memory of a flobberworm. Hadn't they been over this the last time they visited the Burrow? "Potter, you will be at the table eating with us. Surely you cannot have forgotten your last meal here so quickly!"

Harry blinked in genuine amazement. "You mean, I'm still allowed to have dinner? Even after what I did?"

"Although you may have started on your 500 lines, it appears that you have not yet come to believe the words you are copying," Snape reproved him. "Your relatives' habit of barring you from the table and starving you was inhuman. You are of course going to sit down with the rest of the family. You have been scolded and smacked; your punishment is now over. Do you understand?"

Harry beamed at him. "Y'sir!"

"Having said that, you are not to wait and fill up on cake, even if it was made in your honor. You are also тАУ upon pain of disobeying me!" Snape said warningly. Harry nodded vigorously to show his understanding. "- to eat the rest of the food as well, particularly the vegetables."

Harry wrinkled his nose but sighed resignedly. "Y'sir."

Snape paused. "You may, however, skip the mushy peas."

Harry snorted in amusement, and тАУ just for a moment тАУ Snape's normal severe expression lightened a bit. "Ready? I still expect you to apologize to our hosts for your appalling conduct," Snape said sternly, turning towards the door.

Harry nodded, and Snape pulled the door open, causing a tidal wave of redheads to fall into the room from where they'd been leaning against the door, listening.

Harry gaped at the Weasleys, while Snape narrowed his eyes and merely watched, arms folded, as the family tried to disentangle themselves.

"Gerroff! I can't breathe! Gerroff!" Ginny squeaked breathlessly from the bottom of the pile, while Molly and Arthur blushingly picked themselves off the top of the heap.

"Er тАУ excuse us тАУ we тАУ erm тАУ just checking тАУ not really worried тАУ dinner тАУ go check тАУ excuse me!" Molly babbled incoherently and escaped to the kitchen.

"Yes тАУ uh, what she said," Arthur echoed, face flaming to match his hair. He fled after his wife.

"Well, sorry about that," Bill grinned, irrepressible as always. "Just had to make sure you weren't murdering The Boy Who Lived." He grabbed a blushing, speechless Percy and headed back to the dining room.

Charlie picked up Ginny and, red faced, mumbled an apology as he made a hasty exit.

"Erm, sorry about that тАУ"

"Professor, we just didn't тАУ"

"- quite believe that you weren't тАУ"

"- going to string Harry up by his thumbs тАУ"

"- and as you can see тАУ"

"- we have terrible role models!" On that characteristically cheeky note, the twins departed, leaving Ron as the last representative of the family to face Snape's wrath.

Before the professor could deliver a blistering reproof тАУ which, to be fair, should probably be directed at the boy's parents тАУ Ron had demanded of Harry. "Is that it?"

Harry blinked. "What?"

"Is that all the punishment you're going to get? I mean, nothing else when you get back home?"

Harry glanced at Snape for confirmation, then nodded.

"But he didn't yell at you or ground you or even hit you that hard!" Ron paused. "Did he?"

Harry was unsure how to answer. He didn't want to admit the truth and make Snape feel like he hadn't done a good job, but he didn't want to lie to his best mate either. "Erm, it wasn't that bad," he finally said.

"Right. That's what I thought." Ron nodded once, decisively. "Okay, when we get in trouble at school, I want your dad to punish us both."

Harry darted a worried look at the thunderstruck Snape. "He's not really my dad," he started, uncertain as to whether or not Snape would take offense at Ron's words.

Ron waved a dismissive hand. "Guardian, whatever."

"But, Ron," Harry protested, "you've got your own family that тАУ"

"Yeah!" Ron said disgustedly. "I've got a whole bunch of older brothers who think they can all yell at me and whack me just 'cause they're bigger than me, and Percy's the worst of the lot especially now that he's a prefect. And my mumтАж Well, you haven't heard a Howler yet, Harry, but I've watched my mum getting them ready to send to Charlie and the twins, and I don't want to be on the receiving end of one in the Great Hall. I mean, it's bad enough when Mum screams at you in person, but to have it happen in front of everyone in the school? No thanks! I'd rather your dad тАУ erm, professor тАУ just took care of it тАжIs that okay?" he asked, suddenly uncertain. "You don't mind, do you? I just figured that since we were like brothers now and Professor Snape is a Weasley, it would be okay тАУ like having an uncle yell at you if your dad's not around. But if you want to keep him to yourselfтАж"

"No, that's okay!" Harry reassured his friend. He felt rather proud that Ron preferred Harry's guardian to his whole, real family. Didn't that just prove how great Professor Snape was? "I don't mind sharing. You can use him too."

Snape opened and closed his mouth, but he couldn't seem to get any words to emerge. How dare these two presumptuous whelps speak of him as if he weren't present, let alone make plans as if he were some pet they were going to share! While he understood why the youngest Weasley boy would seek to avoid both fraternally-administered wallops and Molly's ear-splitting harangues, he had no intention of being lumbered with the supervision of two brats instead of one. And then the Weasley spawn had referred to him as a Weasley and an uncle, for Merlin's sake! He was in no way, shape, or form going to serve as an UNCLE to this redheaded band of maniacs!

Worse, the youngest Weasley male had even said "when" not "if" he and Harry got into trouble, so it was clear that he wasn't just speaking theoretically. Snape needed to make it indelibly clear to these two hellions, not to mention the rest of the Weasley clan, that he was not going to тАУ

"BOYS! DINNER!" Molly bellowed.

To Snape's shock and horror, Harry and Ron each grabbed one of his hands and started dragging him towards the table. "C'mon, Pr'fessor!" Harry panted. "It's rude to keep them waiting!"

This had to be some horrendous nightmare, perhaps brought on by an extended bout of Cruciatus, Snape thought desperately. He must be hallucinating тАУ surely he was nice and safe and being tortured by the Dark Lord, and not sitting down to a meal as the newest member of the Weasley family? But his feeble hopes were dashed when Molly smiled and handed him the bread basket. No matter how long he was Crucio'd, even his most fevered imaginings couldn't have come up with the hand-embroidered doily, festooned with happy house elves, that covered the rolls.

Albus, Snape vowed to himself, as Ron and Harry happily settled themselves in chairs on either side of him, I will get you back for this if it's the last thing I do.

TBC...

*Chapter 13*: Chapter 13

Mercifully, the rest of the meal passed without incident. For the first time, Snape had reason to appreciate the self-absorbed nature of children, as the Weasley brood prattled on artlessly about trivialities, thereby relieving him of the need to speak. Incredibly, Arthur and Molly seemed to enjoy the noise and insanity, and by the end of the meal, Harry was laughing and babbling along with the rest. Snape wearily noted that remedial lessons in table manners тАУ particularly about not talking with your mouth full тАУ would be needed after visits to the Burrow.