Dodie Smith - I Capture the Castle

happened since then!

I shall think of Simon now. Now? As if I didn't think of him all the

time! Even while I have been so worried about Father, a voice in my

heart has kept saying: "But nothing really matters to you but Simon."

Oh, if only Rose will break her engagement off, surely he will turn to me someday? There is actually a car on the Godsend road! It is

strange to watch the headlights and wonder who is driving through the night.

Oh, heavens! The car has turned into our lane!

Oh, what am I to do? Keep calm, keep calm--it has only taken the wrong turning.

It will back out, or at worst turn round when it gets to the castle.

But people who get as far as the castle usually stop to stare at it and if Father has heard the car, could his voice possibly carry? It just

might, in the still night air. Oh, go back, go back!

It is coming on and on. I feel like someone keeping a journal to the

last second of an approaching catastrophe.

The catastrophe has happened. Simon and Topaz are getting out of the

car.

XVI

I went into the kitchen just as Topaz was striking a match to light the lamp. I heard Simon's voice before I saw his face.

"Is Rose here?"

"Rose ?" I must have sounded utterly blank.

"Oh, my God!" said Simon.

The lamp shone out and I caught his look of utter misery.

"She's disappeared," said Topaz.

"Now don't be frightened--it's not an accident or anything;

she left a note for Simon. But was she looked at him quickly, then

went on: "It didn't really explain anything. Apparently she went off this morning. Simon was away driving his Mother to stay with some

friends-Rose hadn't felt like going with them. He stayed there for

dinner so didn't get back to the flat until late. I was out all day

sitting for Macmorris and went to a theatre with him- I only got home as Simon was reading Rose's note.

We thought she might have come here to be with you--so we drove

straight down."

"Well, she's safe, anyway," I said to Simon.

"I had a telegram from her--though it only said she'd write when she could and would I please try to understand." It had just dawned on me that the bit about understanding didn't refer to our quarrel at all,

but to her running away.

"Where was the telegram handed in?" said Topaz.

"I didn't notice. I'll get it and see."

It was in my bedroom. As I dashed off to the front stairs I heard

Topaz say: "Fancy Mortmain sleeping through all this!" I was afraid she would go up to wake him before I got back, but she didn't.

I spread the telegram out under the lamp.

"Why, it's from that little seaside place where we went for the

picnic!" I said to Simon.

"Why on earth would she go there?" said Thomas.

"And why couldn't the silly ass explain in her note ?"

"She explained all right," said Simon.

"Thanks for trying to spare my feelings, Topaz, but it's really rather pointless." He took the note from his pocket and put it down by the telegram.

"You may as well see what she says."

It was just a penciled scribble:

DEAR SIMON,

I want you to know that I wasn't lying in the beginning.

I really thought I loved you. Now there is nothing I can do but beg

your forgiveness.

Rose "Well, that's that," said Thomas, shooting me a private "I told you so" look.

"But it's not final," said Topaz, quickly.

"I've been telling Simon it's just a fit of engagement nerves--she'll feel differently in a day or two. She's obviously gone to this place

to think things out."

Simon looked at his watch.

"Would you be too tired to start right away ?" he said to Topaz.

"You mean, go after her? Oh, Simon, are you sure that's wise? If she wants to be on her own for a bit? "I won't worry her. I won't even see her, if she doesn't want me to. You can talk to her first. But I

must know a little more than I do now."

"Of course I'll come, then. Let me just have a word with Mortmain first his She moved towards the kitchen stairs, but I got in front of her.

"It's no use going up," I said.

"What, is he in London again ?"

"No-was I shot a look at Thomas, hoping he would help me out.

"You see, Topaz-was "What is it? What are you hiding from me?" She was so scared that she forgot to be a contralto.

I said hastily: "He's perfectly all right, but he's not upstairs. It's good news, really, Topaz- you'll be terribly pleased."

Then Thomas took over and said calmly: "Father's been in Belmotte Tower for two days. We locked him up to make him work- and if we're to

believe him, we've done the trick."

I thought he had put it with admirable dearness, but Topaz asked a

great many frantic questions before she took it in. When she finally

did, her rage was terrific.

"You've killed him!" she screamed.

"Well, he was alive and kicking last night," I said.

"Wasn't he Thomas his "Not kicking," said Thomas.

"He'd quite settled down. If you've any sense, Topaz, you'll leave him there for a few more days."

She was already at the dresser, where the key to the tower usually

hangs.

"Where is it? Give it me at once! If I don't get that key in two minutes I'll hack through the door with an axe!"

And wouldn't she have enjoyed that I could tell she had stopped being really frightened because her voice was most tragically sepulchral.

"We shall have to let him out now," I said to Thomas.

"I would have tomorrow, in any case."

"I wouldn't," said Thomas.

"It's going to wreck the whole experiment." But he went to get the lantern.

The moon was down, but the stars were still bright when we went out

into the courtyard.

"Wait, I'll get my flashlight from the car," said Simon.

"I do apologize," I told him, as we followed the others across Belmotte bridge.

"We've no right to drag you into our family troubles when you're so worried."

He said, "Worried or not, I wouldn't miss this."

No sound came from the tower as we climbed the mound.

"Now don't go yelling that you're coming to rescue him," I said to Topaz.

"You know what it's like being wakened up suddenly."

"If he ever does wake!

his I could have slapped her- partly for being at her most bogus and

partly because I was nervous myself. I certainly didn't think that

Father would be dead, but I did have a slight fear that we might have unhinged him-the state of his hinges being a bit in doubt even before we started.

Still no sound when we got to the foot of the steps.

"Give me the key," Topaz whispered to Thomas.

"I want to face it alone."

"If you're not careful, you'll face it headfirst down fifteen feet," he told her.

"Let Cassandra and me get the door open and the ladder fixed, and then you can descend like a ministering angel."

The ministering angel idea fetched her.

"All right, but let me be the first one he sees."

"Be as quiet as you can," I whispered to Thomas as we got the ladder.

"I'd like to have one look at him before he wakes up. I've borrowed Simon's torch."

We got the door open almost noiselessly, then I shone the torch down

into the blackness.

Father was lying on the bed- so utterly still that for a moment I was terrified. Then a little curling snore relieved my mind. It did look

peculiar down there. In the light from the torch the tall, sun-starved weeds were white as skeleton leaves. The legs of the old iron bedstead were sticking out oddly- evidently it was only just standing up to

Father's weight. Beside it lay the umbrella, opened; I felt his brain must be all right to be capable of such forethought. And my spirits

rose still more when I shone the torch on the rustic table.