Christopher Ransom - The Birthing House

'It's not Nadia. I mean, you can't understand what this house does to you, Jo. Leon Laski. He knows. He tried to tell me. These women keep coming back. It was a birthing house, Baby. It wants to be one again. If you stay, you will have another child. That's what it wants. That's what we want, isn't it?'

'Wait, are you telling me you tried to get into Nadia's pants because the house wanted you to?'

The anger was gone. He was excited. It felt so good to tell the truth. Now he just had to make her see.

'Baby, that's a very small piece of something much larger. Listen, do you think it's a coincidence you got pregnant so soon after we moved here? Huh? No, of course not. It happened in this house. And I know what you're thinking, but listen. The women in the photo - shit, you haven't seen the photo! Why did I burn--it doesn't matter. It's a healing place. You should have seen my hand. And the dogs! The dogs were all cut up from the broken mirrors. She was here, the woman in the house is trying to get out--'

'What mirrors?' Jo shouted. 'The dogs are fine, Conrad. Please stop saying these things. You--'

'No, I know, they're fine now. Listen. This is how it works. God, why didn't I see this before? You were pregnant . . . then you left . . . and then you lost the baby. Don't you see? Here, look--'

'Stop!'

'What?'

'Can't you hear yourself?'

'No, listen, this is going to work. I'm ready to be a father.'

'No, you're not.'

'But I am.'

'Conrad, listen to me.'

'I'm--'

'I was pregnant before we left Los Angeles!'

He gaped at her.

'I knew right before we left. When you came home and saw Jake there, I knew what you were thinking. But you just shut down. I wanted you to have time to grieve, but not like that. I thought it would be too much. You weren't ready. I wanted to be sure we could get through this. The way you were holding your father's money over my head, buying this house. It wasn't like you. We were supposed to do all these things together. Everything together.'

'You were pregnant before?'

'Yes.'

'But you didn't tell me?'

'I'm not pregnant now. You need to see somebody, Conrad. Oh, I knew--'

'But the snakes.'

'What snakes?'

'The Boelen's pythons. Shadow dropped nine eggs.'

'You bought more snakes? Why?'

'Because they are beautiful. I wanted to invest in something, and I had the money to do something I had always wanted to do.'

'This was your surprise project in the garage?'

'Yes.'

'Why didn't you just tell me?'

'You thought they were stupid. You told me to grow up. But I knew. I knew they would help us one day.'

'I'm not sure how keeping snakes helps us.'

'She laid nine eggs, Jo. A virgin birth. The house wants life.'

'Stop saying that.'

'It's true.'

'Maybe so.' Jo's face had taken on a vacant stare, after seeing his fervor. Her words became disconnected. 'But I don't like all these secrets. I think I should go.'

She turned her back to him.

'None of this would have happened if you stayed here,' he said. 'Don't you see that?'

'It wouldn't have changed anything.'

'It's okay, Baby. It's past. You're home now. We can do it again.'

She walked to the kitchen entrance. 'The neighbors are waiting for their daughter to return.'

'Jo, wait. She said she wanted to run away. I admitted I tried to seduce her. But I didn't, and I don't want her now. I want a family. I want you. Why would I confess all this and lie about the rest?'

'I don't know who you are or who we've become.'

'I'm the father of your child.'

'There is no child.' She disappeared around the corner, into the living room. 'There is no child.'

But she didn't sound certain of that, either.

36

He was hungry.

After days of feeding that girl soup and sitting in the library waiting for the walls to open up, he was salivating, ravenous, his thoughts honed to a single goal: food. He searched the cupboards and in the empty spaces he conjured grilled T-bones smothered in sauteed mushrooms and peppercorn sauce, bowls of creamed spinach, piles of hot garlic cheese biscuits, salad drowning in Italian dressing and chocolate ice cream by the bucket.

He grabbed the car keys and looped around into the TV room.

'I'm going to the store. Do you want anything?'

Jo was sitting on the couch, petting Alice, staring at the TV. The TV was off.

'The store,' she said.

'Look, we're not thinking clearly. You've been through a lot. I haven't eaten a decent meal in days. So here's what we're going to do. I'm going to make you a lunch you'll never forget. We'll eat, we'll rest. Then we'll talk. I promise, we'll do whatever you think is right.'

'What will I do?' She said this to the blank TV.

'We just need to eat first. You look pale, Baby.'

He turned and headed for the door.

'Tell me about the snakes again,' she said.

He stopped, came back.

'The snakes? I'm blind with hunger, Baby.'

'Where are you keeping them?'

'I told you they're in the garage. I'll show you the eggs later, after we eat. I don't want you disturbing them now. If the temperature drops even a few degrees, it can damage the embryos. And then it's bye-bye ninety grand.'

'Oh.'

'I'll be right back.'

He drove fast and the store was only half a mile away. Inside, he filled the shopping cart with seventy-nine dollars' worth of food, yanking steaks from the cooler like a bear pawing salmon from a stream. He dumped potatoes into the child seat without a bag. They fell to the floor and he grabbed more, throwing asparagus and cauliflower in with them. Bananas. She needed potassium. He raced to the other end of the store. Three kinds of cheese. Milk. Frozen corn, peas, okra. Okra? Fuck, why not okra? A Mrs Smith's blueberry pie, Breyer's vanilla bean. He was in the checkout line when he remembered the wine. Once they had some food in them, the wine would grease the wheels for the rest 'One second,' he told the kid in the apron punching the register.

The liquor aisle was ten feet away. He searched labels and tried to remember what kind she liked. White, he knew that much, but there was no such thing as white wine. There was Pinot Grigio, Chardonnay, Sauvignon Blanc. He had always bought whatever was on sale, but now he wanted to get it right. For her. All the labels had kangaroos and dogs and moose on them. What the fuck was going on here? Had some genius in marketing realized we see ourselves as cute little cartoon animals like kids with cereal boxes? He reached for something with a koala bear on it and changed his mind, tipping the bottle off the shelf. His arm shot out and the koala bear smashed on the floor, sending a geyser of sour juice up his leg.

'Fuck!' He jumped back, crunching glass under his red sandals. Gashed his big toe. 'Jesus Christ.'

'It's no problem,' the kid in the apron said, coming round to help. 'Just watch your step so you don't cut yourself.'

'I'm sorry,' Conrad said. 'I'm just trying to find the right one.'

Something in his eyes made the kid stop and look at him.

'I'm sorry. My wife is not well. Can you help me?'

'Sure, yeah, it's no problem. What are you looking for?'

'White wine. Just any white wine. But a good one.'

'Maybe this one? It's pretty popular.' The kid pointed to a large bottle with a gorilla on the label. The price tag said $14.99.

'Sure, that's fine. Great.' Conrad reached for the broken glass.

'Just leave it.'

'You sure?'

'It's not a problem.'

'I appreciate it. My wife just got home from a long trip. I'm kind of in a hurry, you know?'

Not much time now. She could be ovulating.

'Sure. Totally.'

He almost turned the car around when he realized he had forgotten the charcoal briquettes - then he remembered they owned a gas grill.