Eric Thomas - The Secret to Success

That’s what I did over twenty years ago. I repositioned myself. One day Bob came to me and said he was going to give me an opportunity of a lifetime. He said it was only under one condition; I had to be ready to get ready. Although it was a great offer, he said he wouldn’t make the proposition if I wasn’t ready for it. It took me about two months to clear my head and finally make the decision to take Bob up on his offer. He offered me the opportunity to come and visit the environment that made him the person he was, his church.

I thought changing my circle of influence had improved my life. Then I was exposed to the environment that made Bob into the person he was. The crazy thing is that my growth had nothing to do with the church itself. My growth was connected to the environment the church produced. The church was only a tiny little storefront church on Puritan and Ward with less than 100 members, but sometimes looks can be deceiving; bigger is not necessarily better. The Detroit Center Church created the type of environment that could reform the most rebellious, immature, and misguided young person in the entire world. I know what you are thinking. How soon can I pack my bags, turn in my two weeks notice and relocate to the West Side of Detroit? There is no need to go to such drastic measures. I am going to share the top 4 methods the Detroit Center Church used to help reform my life and prepare me for greatness.

Principle 8: The right environment is pivotal to your success; embrace environments that positively contribute to your growth .

It hurts just thinking about that Final Four game. It was the NCAA road to the Final Four. Sixty-four teams entered the tournament and somehow they managed to survive and compete for the National Title. It was a nail biting experience, and with less than 13 seconds on the clock they were in striking distance. My team’s opponent missed the free throw, the ball hit the back of the rim and my team got the rebound and headed down the court. Once they passed half court the forward dribbled the ball in the corner to set up a play and got double-teamed. With no play open and no help on the backside his instincts kicked in and he called a timeout. As he called the timeout, he realized there were no timeouts left. The ref called a technical foul and with less than 13 seconds on the clock, the other team went to the free throw line to shoot two free throws and won the game. The Fab Five stood on the court in shock as they suffered their second defeat 77 to 71 in the 1993 NCAA finals. I could see the look of disappointment on the face of Chris Weber as he walked off the court. I have never had the privilege of personally meeting Weber, Jalen Rose (whom I named my son after), or any the other members of the Fab Five, but trust me when I say I can relate to the pain Weber felt when falling short of his goal when it was only a few inches away.

Years before Weber ever stepped on the court, I was given a golden opportunity. It was the fall of 1987, on the west side of Detroit. It began like any other random church service. There were a ton of preliminaries, an A and B selection from the choir, and the pastor spoke. Everything was copasetic until the end of his message. I swear he started staring and preaching directly at me as if there were no other members in the church.

“The Lord admonishes us to forgive our debtors as He has forgiven us of our debts. Forgiveness is not a feeling, but it is a command. God is not offering you a pardon, a stay or a pass when it comes to forgiveness.”, he pressed. “We must all be willing, as He has been, to forgive our neighbors. Regardless of the pain we have suffered at the hands of our enemy, no matter the offense, we must free ourselves.”

He stated with a convicting voice, “I know first- hand what it’s like to have an opportunity, to be so close to getting over the hump, but somehow falling short right at the end.” I was listening attentively when the pastor got to the part about forgiveness—the part about freeing your enemy so you could free yourself. The way he said it struck a nerve. Forgiveness was so far in the back of my mind, and so was that incident. I hadn’t thought about the incident since I left. But when he said, “In order to hold someone down, you must stay down with them.” That one statement alone knocked the wind out of me. Was he suggesting that my success was somehow connected to my willingness to surrender my anger and forgive her for what she did to me?

“I am going to count down from 10 and give you an opportunity to come to the altar and respond to this appeal. And more importantly, I am giving you an opportunity to do more than forgive your enemies. I am giving you an opportunity to get your life back. By setting your enemies free, you unconsciously free yourself.” I am sure no one sitting beside me could see the all out brawl, the internal war that was happening inside of me. On one hand, I wanted to put it past me so I could move on with the rest of my life, but on the other hand, I didn’t want to just let her off the hook that easy. She put me through too much pain for me to just forgive her and move on. But I kept thinking to myself, “Here is your opportunity, your chance to get that monkey off your back. All you have to do is go up there and get it off your chest.” Just as I was about to stand up and do it, I heard a voice say, “Think about it, she hasn’t forgiven you for what you’ve done. She never even accepted responsibility for her actions. Don’t humiliate yourself.” All of a sudden, I jumped on my feet, and started walking past the individuals sitting next to me in the pews. Once I made it to the aisle, I looked at the pastor and his eyes met mine. The eye contact only lasted a split second, but it felt like hours. I turned toward the exit and ran out of the front door and on to Puritan Avenue. Bent over and clutching my knees, gasping for air with sweat dripping from every pore, I began to relive the entire event over in my head as if it were happening for the first time. I grew ten feet because of that one sermon.

In the right environment, you should get the sense that you are being celebrated and not tolerated .

If you ask me what grabbed my attention the first time I walked through the doors of Detroit Center, I would have to say it was the way the people embraced me. And I knew it was genuine because I came to church in street clothes (at the time I didn’t have the money to buy church clothes) . But apparently it didn’t matter; they were more concerned with making me feel welcomed than they were with the kind of clothes I was wearing. And even though I was impressed with the initial warm greeting, I was about to fall for the ying yang. I was only there because Bob invited me. I knew Bob was down for me like four flat tires, but there was no way in the world anyone could get me to believe that the people in that church could show me the same type of love Bob showed me. And if you asked me six months after I entered the church what made me stay—with tears running down my face, I would have to tell you—it was the love. Although I didn’t have any intentions of joining Bob’s church or anyone’s church, I continued to attend because I understood that it would be stupid to leave a place that showed me as much love as the people at that church showed me. After the first month of attending church Sister Burse told me it was my turn to teach the youth bible class. I didn’t even own a bible and she put me in the rotation. It didn’t matter that I was homeless and potentially on the verge of being a high school dropout; she believed in me. The church’s philosophy was, you are only a guest once, the next time you walk through those doors we are putting you to work. And boy did they put me to work. After my first major assignment, Sister Burse pulled me aside and encouraged me. She said she noticed I had leadership potential and I should continue teaching; I guess that’s why she gave me several opportunities after that day. More importantly, she took an interest in me and took the time out of her schedule to train me. Looking back on those days I can truly say that she helped me hone my speaking and leadership skills and taught me how to operate in what she called a spirit of excellence.