Eric Thomas - The Secret to Success

Reprogramming My Mind

God knew I needed a better coping mechanism to get me through the mental anguish of being homeless. Being separated from my family and not being able to talk to my mom on a daily basis was enough to break me down mentally. The holidays were the worst. I missed being home with my family and I especially missed grandma Shirley’s cooking. I knew my parents would not mind me coming over for Thanksgiving dinner or Christmas, but my pride would not let me humble myself. In my mind, calling somehow was a sign of weakness. In fact, it was that kind of thinking that made me feel like I had to cut them off—especially my mom.

It was luck that brought me to a new environment where I would be exposed to some life changing information. I learned a valuable lesson in that environment: there is power in one’s spirit—the power to empower and the power to suppress. I also learned that I needed to annihilate all negative thinking. When my thoughts were consumed with negativity, the thoughts often became a self-fulfilling prophecy. Bobby McFerrin released a song that I adopted as my mantra, “Don’t Worry Be Happy.” The song had a line about being homeless that proclaimed even under those circumstances, don’t worry, be happy . In short, the song illustrated that worrying would only further complicate the situation.

I spent a great deal of time walking and talking to myself and praying. I used my imagination to control my thoughts about what my life could be like. I sang songs. I may not have been able to carry a note, but through singing I could forget the challenges I had as long as that song was in my heart.

Once I was exposed to a new environment, it didn’t take me long to discover that successful people were not successful because of some superior gene they inherited at birth. It had more to do with their outlook on life and their ability to keep momentum on their side. Through my observation of these people I discovered that I had a much better chance of placing myself in a position to succeed if I had faith. I learned that there are three categories of people when it comes to faith. The first group has no faith whatsoever. They are from Missouri, the show me state. The second group has a measure of faith, but not enough to experience any real outcomes. The last group lives by faith. They don’t have to touch it, taste it, or see any evidence of it to believe they can live an abundant life. They are certain that the future is going to be full of good fortune and as a result, their expectations often become self-fulfilling prophecies.

Apply the ABC’s of success to your life. Ask, Believe, and Claim it. “It doesn’t hurt to Ask; the worst thing they can say is no.” The only place you can go is up from there. I have upgraded to a first class seat from coach without paying any extra money on many occasions simply because I asked. Don’t let the fear of rejection keep you from experiencing next level living. After you ask, you have to Believe you are worthy enough to have whatever it is you’ve asked for. For years I was afraid to ask organizations and schools to pay me for speaking because I didn’t believe my presentation was worthy of receiving compensation for my services, and guess what, they didn’t pay me. When I finally began to believe that my presentations were worthy, the checks began rolling in. Finally, Claim it. According to the dictionary, claim means to demand as a right. In short, to claim something means to expect it long before it happens. I remember the first time I used the power of claiming it and naming it. I was looking to buy my first house and I was told that the neighborhood I wanted to live in was beyond my financial means. I had the real estate agent take me through the homes anyway and when I saw this one particular house, I knew it was mine. My realtor took me to seven other homes within my supposed budget, but I kept thinking of the one I knew belonged to me. So instead of worrying and allowing doubt to consume my thoughts, I went to the grocery store and picked up some empty boxes and started packing as if the house was already mine. A month later my realtor called and said the couple that owned the house was relocating and wanted to accept my offer. The Bible tells us, “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”

Principle 9: Individuals who are able to maintain momentum listen to their intuition .

I can’t put it into words, and I am not sure how I feel about the whole love at first sight concept. All I know is that whenever I was in the same room with her, I couldn’t stop staring at her. It was weird because I didn’t visit the church with the intent of trying to find someone to date. I was going through so much in my life that dating was the last thing on my mind. I was hoping that if I gave it a few weeks the feelings for her would pass, but something in my gut kept telling me I needed to get to know her. She had such a nurturing and caring spirit for someone so young. It took me a long time to introduce myself to her because of her mother. She reminded me of one of those secret service men who work in the White House protecting the President.

In addition to being scared of her mom, I was never the most suave guy when it came to the ladies. I never dated in middle school, and in high school I was never in a real relationship. After the first few weeks of attending church, I knew I had to take a chance. There was one problem, I didn’t know if she was dating someone or if she was allowed to date for that matter. I decided to hire Bob as my personal private investigator. His job was to find out every bit of information possible without letting it be known that I was the one who needed the intel. Weeks later Bob’s investigation was complete. She was single. I learned once that the Romans considered Cupid to be the god of erotic love. While I was never a believer of Roman or Greek mythology myself, there was something mythical about my emerging romance with De. I grew to love her in a way that I’ve only seen articulated in fairytales. My relationship with her would prove to be a huge swing of positive momentum. She was more than a girlfriend; she was my best friend. She was constantly looking out for me. Whether it meant giving me her allowance so I could have some money to eat or sneaking me into the house in the winter to sleep in her closet when I was between living situations, De had my back and never let me down. She was my angel sent straight from the Lord himself.

Principle 10: Stop sabotaging yourself .

While my love for De was growing exponentially, if there was one thing about her that bothered me, it was her mouth. She never held anything back. If she thought it, she said it. “I don’t know why you hanging out on Mark Twain so much. You need to make up your mind what you want to do. Are you trying to get your life together for real, or are you just saying that to impress me? You know you are going to end up going to jail or get killed. I am not visiting you in jail Eric. Eric, are you listening to me?” God knows that girl was the love of my life, but I promise it didn’t seem like she had a sensitive bone in her body once we started dating. She was constantly nagging me about school. I used to think Pastor Willis put her up to pushing me into getting my G.E.D. Pastor Willis knew I had a soft spot for De and that I was bound to go take my test just off the strength of the love I had for her. Whenever I think about how much De harassed me about getting my life together, I always think about the relationship between Coach Larry Brown and the Detroit Pistons. Starting point guard, Chauncey Billups, appeared on ESPN’s Hot Seat the season after Larry Brown was fired. He was asked which coach the players liked most, their former coach, Larry Brown, or their new coach, Flip Saunders (keep in mind Larry Brown had won a championship with the team just a few years prior). Chauncey gave a diplomatic answer; he said the verdict was still out. But the rumor was that Flip Saunders was more of a player’s coach and the guys couldn’t stand Larry Brown’s “no nonsense” style of leadership. Brown’s philosophy was that defense wins the game, not offense. Flip Saunders gave them more freedom on defense and allowed them to open it up on the offensive end. In short, the players may have liked Flip Saunders more for his laid back style, but they never won a championship. I felt the same way about my relationship with De. I felt like she pushed me too hard. It was as if she had forgotten about all my hardships and the struggles I was going through. But De wanted us to be champions. She said, “You are sabotaging yourself hanging on the block. One minute you are in church praising the Lord and the next minute you’re hanging around drug dealers and thugs. As far as I know you’re selling drugs, you’re out in the streets an awful lot. It’s time to get serious Eric, I’m not playing anymore.” I wouldn’t admit it then, but she was right. De was pushing me towards greatness but I was scared to make a whole hearted attempt to reach it. I was purposely sabotaging my chances of succeeding and the momentum I had gained was quickly fading.