Gerri Hill - One Summer Night

"This looks good," Jo said.

Kelly nodded. "Yes."

Jo raised her eyes, one hand resting on the back of the chair. She smiled, then went to Kelly and kissed her quickly on the mouth. "I have missed you," she said softly.

Kelly grinned at her, then sat down, and they ate in silence. After they had cleaned up, they took the bottle of wine and sat by the fire. Jo put on some piano music, turned on a lamp, and sat with Kelly on the sofa.

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"If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to seduce me," Kelly said.

Jo smiled at her warmly and reached for her hand.

"Maybe I am.”

Kelly's fingers entwined with hers, and they sat in comfortable silence, listening to the music and watching the fire.

"You must think that I'm terribly difficult," Jo finally said.

Kelly laughed. "Now, why would I think that?"

Jo smiled at her. "Why haven't you been by to see me at school?"

"Honestly?"

"Please."

"I had gotten the feeling that you had only been with me because you needed me, or you needed someone," she said, meeting Jo's eyes. "I didn't think that you were really with me because you wanted me. Just me."

Jo nodded and looked away. Was it true? Had she needed someone? Anyone? No. If that were the case, Deb would have been safer. She didn't have any feelings for Deb.

"So you were waiting for me to call you?" she asked.

"Yes," Kelly admitted. "I felt like I was forcing myself on you."

"No," Jo said. "You just scare me."

"Why do I scare you?" Kelly asked gently.

Jo didn't answer, but she laid her head on Kelly's shoulder. Their fingers still touched, and they were silent.

Finally, Kelly asked, "Are you going to the lake tomorrow?"

"Yes. I need to. I can't keep putting it off."

"Do you want some help?"

Jo nodded.

"We can call Betsy and Janis, too," Kelly suggested.

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"Yes, I'm sure they would come."

She didn't want to think about it just now, though. She would call them in the morning.

They sat for awhile longer, watching the fire, then Kelly moved. "I better be going," she said, standing.

Jo wanted her to stay but she knew Kelly wouldn't offer, and Johanna didn't ask. She stood, too.

"Thanks for dinner," she said.

"Anytime.” They looked at each other. "Call me in the morning and let me know what time you want to go."

Jo nodded. "Okay."

She walked Kelly to the door, hoping she would take her in her arms and kiss her, but she didn't.

Kelly looked at her for a long moment, her gaze dropping to Jo’s lips for only a brief second. "Good night,"

she said and left.

Jo watched her run to her truck in the rain, then closed the door and leaned against it. After all they had shared, why was it so hard for her? Why couldn't she just go to Kelly and hold her? Why couldn't she just reach up and kiss her?

Why couldn't she just ask her to stay? They both wanted it, she knew.

Jo sat on the floor beside the fire and finished her wine.

Is this what she wanted? This kind of relationship with Kelly? One where they only stayed together when Jo needed her? What about Kelly's needs? Didn't they matter?

"I'm such a shit," Jo said aloud.

Why Kelly hung around was beyond her. Because she's in love with you, Jo thought, and she closed her eyes to the tears that formed at the idea. Was Kelly driving home now, hurting? Was she wondering why Jo didn't want her?

Later, when Jo crawled into her empty bed, she reached for the phone and called her.

"Kelly?"

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"What is it?" she asked.

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry, honey?"

"Because I'm such an ass.”

"Don't say that. You just do what you have to do, okay?”

Jo nodded into the phone. "Please don't think that I don't want you. Because I do," she whispered.

"Do you?" Kelly asked.

"Yes.”

She could hear Kelly's soft sigh and she smiled.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Kelly said. "Good night."

* * * *

The rain had stopped, but the sky remained cloudy and it was cold out, though not freezing, as had been forecasted.

By the time Jo got around to calling Betsy and Janis, it was over forty degrees and the clouds were breaking up, promising sunshine by afternoon.

"Of course we'll help," Betsy agreed. "What time?"

"I'd like to go before lunch," Jo said. "Afterward, we'll go somewhere for an early dinner. My treat.”

"Sounds good. Should we meet you there or at your place?"

"Out at the lake, I guess."

Next, she called Kelly. She was waiting.

"Can we take your Explorer? I'd like to bag up his clothes and things and give them to Goodwill."

"Of course. I'll come get you.”

Jo waited nervously for her though she didn't know why.

Maybe it was because of her admission late last night. Maybe it was just because she was anxious to see her.

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Kelly knocked on her door at eleven, wearing faded jeans and a sweatshirt. She looked wonderful.

"Hi," she said, when Jo opened the door.

Jo's eyes looked at her greedily, and she smiled.

"Ready?"

"Let’s go.”

By eleven-thirty, she was unlocking Harry's door, and it was cold inside. She immediately turned on the heat and went around flipping on lights. Kelly watched her as she walked around, touching the furniture and looking at his things.

"Jo?"

"I'm okay."

And she was. She would give his clothes to Goodwill, where someone less fortunate could use them. What furniture Jo didn't want to keep here, she would offer to the folks at the Senior Center. If they couldn't use it, maybe they’d know someone who could. Unfortunately, there were a lot of Beth's things, as well. Harry had never had the heart to throw them out, and now that was left to Johanna, too.

"Tell me what you want me to do," Kelly said.

"Clothes, I guess."

Jo opened the box of large trash bags she had brought and handed them to Kelly.

"Do you want to look through them first?"

"No. Go ahead," she motioned.

Kelly walked up to her, lifted Jo’s face and kissed her lightly on the mouth. Jo smiled, then pushed her into the bedroom.

She was sorting through the books in the living room when Beth and Janis knocked. Jo sent them into the kitchen.

Soon, Harry’s and Beth's clothes were piled in the Explorer, and bags of garbage were sitting on the porch. The kitchen was cleaned, the refrigerator nearly empty. They had 201

a box of dry goods Jo was going to give to the local food bank on Monday, and the rest of the cans were left in the pantry.

She gave Harry’s few plants to Betsy and Janis. She had enough to worry about with her three.

"You're going to keep the house, then," Betsy said.

"Oh, yes. I couldn't sell it. I've spent too much of my life out here. Besides, I love the lake. I can't imagine not having this to come to anymore."

"You could always live out here during the summer,"

Janis suggested.

"Yes. I could.”

The house was clean, but there was still a lot to sort through. Most of which she would need to do alone.

"I really appreciate your help," she told them.

She and Kelly took the clothes to Goodwill, then drove over to Betsy and Janis's house. They would all ride together to dinner.

"How about seafood?" Jo suggested. "Something different."

"Sure. We could try that new Cajun place on Riverside,"

Betsy said.

Soon, they were sitting at the Gumbo Pot, sipping cold beer and deciding between shrimp and crawfish for their appetizers.

They had a pleasant dinner. Jo noticed how well Kelly got along with Betsy and Janis, so different from Nancy.

Betsy and Nancy had never pretended to like one another, and it had put a strain on their friendship.

After they had dropped Betsy and Janis off, Kelly and Jo rode silently back to Jo’s. Kelly pulled in the driveway and left the engine running. Jo looked at her with raised eyebrows. Kelly answered her with the same.