Gerri Hill - One Summer Night

barely seen her all week. Kelly complained of being busy, too, and Jo believed her. What else could she do?

On Thursday, Jo called her in her office.

"Do you want to have dinner?"

There was a long pause. "I can't," Kelly said.

"Why not?" Jo asked.

"I've already got plans this evening."

"Oh. I see."

"How about Saturday?" Kelly asked. "Maybe we could get Betsy and Janis to join us."

Jo wondered if she already had plans for Friday night, too, but she didn't ask. "Okay. I'll call them."

"Let me know," Kelly said and hung up.

Jo replaced the receiver slowly and stared at the phone for a moment. This was what she wanted, she stubbornly told herself.

She spent a lonely Friday night by the fire, a bottle of wine beside her. It was nearly empty, and the book she had started lay opened to the first chapter. She stared into the fire, wondering what Kelly was doing and with whom. It was the “with whom” that bothered her. Lucy? Perhaps. Or maybe someone from San Antonio. Jo leaned her head back, and jealousy consumed her. The thought of Kelly being with someone else was like a knife ripping through her heart, shredding what was left of it.

She finished the wine, knowing she would have a terrible headache in the morning and not caring in the least. Betsy and Janis had agreed to dinner, and Jo had tried calling Kelly but she wasn't home. She didn't leave a message.

Jo slept until nine on Saturday morning, and as she stood, her head reminded her she had consumed an entire bottle of wine by herself. She sat at the table, drinking coffee and watching the birds at her feeder, which was full for once.

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She stared at the phone, wishing it would ring, but it remained silent. Finally, she called Kelly and got her answering machine again.

"It's Jo. Betsy and Janis said dinner would be fine. If you still want to, that is," she added. "I guess about seven."

She hung up and went back to her coffee, a lonely day looming ahead of her.

Kelly called at four.

"Seven?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Okay, that's fine," Kelly agreed.

"Do you want to come here first?" Jo asked.

"No. I better just meet you there. I've got some things to do this afternoon."

Jo bit her lip and nodded. "Okay," she said and hung up.

"God, I hate this," Jo said out loud.

She went to their house about six. She couldn't stand being alone a second longer. They were surprised to see her.

"Jo, come in," Betsy said.

"I know I'm early," she admitted.

"Where's Kelly?"

"She's meeting us here.”

"What's wrong?" Betsy asked immediately.

"Why do you think something’s wrong?"

Betsy raised her eyebrows. "Because I know you, that's why.” She led her into the living room. "Let's talk."

"You're not even dressed yet."

"I've showered. Janis is getting ready," Betsy said. "Now, what's wrong?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"Well, I know what's wrong, I just don't know why," Jo complained.

"Fredricksburg went okay?"

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"Yes and no," she said.

Betsy just looked at her, waiting for her to continue.

"We had a good time, I guess.” Jo looked away. "Oh, Betsy, I just don't know. I like being with her, but she wants more. I told her I couldn't. That I wanted things to stay the way they were."

"Which is what? Strictly physical? Sexual?”

Jo nodded.

“And?”

"And she said that maybe we needed to stop spending so much time together. Maybe we needed to see other people since I wasn't ready for anything more with her."

Betsy didn't say anything.

"I've barely seen her this week. I asked her to dinner Thursday and she had plans and I guess last night, too. She didn't even want to come to my house tonight. She said she would meet me here," she finished in a rush.

"And this isn't what you want?"

"I don't know what the hell I want," Jo said.

"I think you do, but you just won't admit it," Betsy said quietly.

"No.” Jo shook her head.

“You obviously enjoy your time with her,” Betsy said with a slight smile.

Jo blushed. “Yes. The sex is beyond compare. But I don’t want more.”

"You don't want her, but you don't want anyone else to, either?"

"Betsy, she told me she loved me," Jo whispered.

"And you freaked?"

Jo nodded.

"Honey, I wish I could tell you what to do. I know you feel something for her."

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"I like her a lot, yes. But I don't love her. I don't want to love her," Jo insisted.

"Maybe you forgot to tell your heart that," Betsy said quietly.

"No," Jo said stubbornly. "We enjoy each other, yes. But I'm not in love with her."

"Okay, if you say so. You should know.” Betsy looked at her for a long moment. "Then what's wrong? It shouldn't bother you if she goes out with someone else."

"It shouldn't, should it?"

"No."

Jo nodded.

"Get yourself a beer. I've got to get dressed."

Kelly didn't get there until five minutes before seven, and they were waiting for her. Jo searched her eyes but Kelly's rested on hers for only a brief second.

"Hi everyone," she said. "Sorry I'm late."

"We're just having a beer. Want one?" Janis asked.

"Yes, please."

She avoided the sofa where Jo was and sat in the armchair across from her. "How did your week go?' she asked.

"Busy," Jo said.

"Mine, too. It just flew by."

Jo wished she could say the same. Kelly was wearing slacks and a sweater, and Jo found herself staring at her full breasts where the sweater hugged them. She had to tear her eyes away.

"Do you two have plans for Christmas?" Janis asked.

"I'll be going to California," Kelly said, and Jo felt her heart sink. Would Kelly be gone the entire time?

"Oh, that's right. Your family is out there."

"Yeah. What will you do?" she asked.

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"Oh, we only have a few days off. Betsy's mother always comes and stays, though."

"We bought your book, by the way," Betsy said. "I loved it. Janis just started it."

"And don't tell me a thing. I think the janitor did it,"

Janis said.

Jo and Kelly glanced at each other and smiled.

They went for Mexican food, and Jo had two margaritas.

She ordered the second after Kelly mentioned that she had been at the bar the night before.

"Deb was there," she told Jo. "She said to tell you hello if I saw you."

"How nice," Jo said and forced a smile. That meant Lucy was there, as well. Had she danced with her? Of course. Had she taken her home? Jo refused to think about that.

"We could go out tonight, if you want," Janis offered.

"No. I'm really tired. You all go if you want, though.

Don't mind me," Kelly said.

Why was she tired? Had she made love long into the night and early morning? Jo felt her heart tighten, and she bit her bottom lip hard.

Once back at their house, Kelly came in for only a minute. "I've got to get going. I've got some work to do in the morning. Thanks for dinner. I enjoyed it."

She turned to Jo. "I guess I'll see you at school."

"I guess," Jo said and shrugged.

Kelly met her eyes and started to say something else, then looked away and was gone.

"Jesus, what's with you two?" Janis asked.

"I haven't had a chance to tell her," Betsy said to Jo.

"Tell me what?"

"I'll leave you two to discuss my personal life in private,"

Jo said and stood up.

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"Are you okay?" Betsy asked.

"No. I don't guess that I am."

She cried on the way home. It was the margaritas, she supposed. Tequila always depressed her.

"Who are you kidding?" she demanded aloud as she wiped her cheeks. God, she missed Kelly.

Her answering machine was blinking when she got home, and she pushed the button as she walked past.